Vasekuru Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 I had been dating my girlfriend for 2 and a half years prior to our break up 2 weeks ago which was caused by her having gone into my email and found a series of emailings from different girls including one of my exes who lives in England (We live in Chicago), most of the emails were tame non incriminating, except one from a girl I met 2 summers ago in chicago who was from new york. Nothing happened between us but then I found her email a month ago and decided to email her and she asked her if we could hang out when i went to new york for business iin december. She said "Only if you dont have a girlfriend to which I said stupidly I did not. After seeing all this she confronted me and and i reacted badly and didnt try and hear her out. Now we are broken up and she wont talk to me etc etc ive tried talking to her she says she that im not what she wants in her life and she was sick of feeling paraniod of me cheating. However I have never slept with anyone else. It is also the second time this has happened she went into my email in february and I was out working covering an event for work and this girl chatted me up and at the end of the night she reached over and kissed me. She then emailed me wanting to get together but i brushed her off and my girl saw the emails, but now the second time she is taking everything into consideration and wont take me back at all. what do I do I love her I messed up and fell into stupid temptation, being without her has strengthened me to be able to resist temptation or screw up. Just to let you know we dated long distance Philadelphia to Chicago seeing each other every month for a year and a half then a year with her living here but separately, she decided to move for us. Im lost im stuck, I screwed up I need her back and will do anything in the world. Please help!
Geishawhelk Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 Whu-hup.... woah...long post...... hang on a sec.... just giving it a thorought check... Aaaaah! Yup!! I see it! ....asked her if we could hang out when i went to new york for business iin december. She said "Only if you dont have a girlfriend to which I said stupidly I did not. There's your problem, right there!! *wipes hands on greasy cloth* See, this is a common problem.... people lie, and think about cheating, and end up lookin' like a real player..... Now, I don't think this is fixable, on account of this...... After seeing all this she confronted me and and i reacted badly and didnt try and hear her out. Which was a really dumb thing to do - go on the defensive about something she was clearly upset about - AND had a right to be.... *shakes head despondently, whilst writing on pad* I think you just need to send this one to the crusher, and get a new veh-ickle.... *Hands bill for $250.00 over to Doofus. Pats on back.* Now, you will try to learn something from moving on from this experience, won't you?
torranceshipman Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 The major thing her is that you may not have actually slept with someone else, but you gave girls the impression that you were single - clearly if the opportunity had presented itself you MAY well have cheated. Thats the disresespectful thing you seem to have done quite a bit - lied to girls by pretending you were single, or lying by omission by not telling them you had a girlfriend. And for a girl to reach over and kiss you - cmon, you must have been sending 'single and intrested' signals!! She sounds like she had a lot of red flags that eventually motivated her to check your emails, etc, for proof - and guess what, she found it.... I think if you want her back you should be 100% about EVERYTHING - totally own up - and tell her that if she takes loads of space and even contemplates beingwith you again, you'll wait for her, and do whatever it takes. Not sure if she trusts you enough to be able to do that, but I'd give it a try...
pr-girl Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 I think it was messed up on her part to even read your emails. She obviously never trusted you in the first place. Do you always want to walk on eggshells? Yes, what you did was wrong, but she read into something that it wasn't - as many of us do in text messages, IM's, and emails. Shame on her.
missdependant Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 She's probably really pissed so I'd give her a LOT of time to cool off. She might not take you back and might be very hurt that instead of telling the girls from the emails that you had a beautiful girl waiting for you in another state, you told them you were single. You lied and covered the fact up that she even existed. Trust me, this is coming from a girl in the situation your girl is in. My boyfriend cheated on me when we first started seeing each other.. I took him back, but I am constantly paranoid about him going out and doing the same thing again. It really sucks to worry about and bottle up emotionally. You really hurt her feelings; and you're right, you screwed up. You might just have to deal with the consequences which really sucks, I know. But hopefully the pain and scars it leaves behing teaches you a lesson. Quotes: "Play me once; shame on you, fool me twice; shame on me." "If you love something, let it go. If it returns it's meant to be."
RecordProducer Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 The major thing her is that you may not have actually slept with someone else, but you gave girls the impression that you were single - clearly if the opportunity had presented itself you MAY well have cheated. Thats the disresespectful thing you seem to have done quite a bit - lied to girls by pretending you were single, or lying by omission by not telling them you had a girlfriend. And for a girl to reach over and kiss you - cmon, you must have been sending 'single and intrested' signals!! She sounds like she had a lot of red flags that eventually motivated her to check your emails, etc, for proof - and guess what, she found it.... I think if you want her back you should be 100% about EVERYTHING - totally own up - and tell her that if she takes loads of space and even contemplates beingwith you again, you'll wait for her, and do whatever it takes. Not sure if she trusts you enough to be able to do that, but I'd give it a try...I totally agree with everything. Great advice! I think it was messed up on her part to even read your emails. She obviously never trusted you in the first place. Do you always want to walk on eggshells? Yes, what you did was wrong, but she read into something that it wasn't - as many of us do in text messages, IM's, and emails. Shame on her. Wow, shame on her, huh! Lying and kissing other girls and making plans to meet someone behind his GF's back is OK, but snooping and discovering the dirt is shameful. She read it exaclty the way it was. And no, when we're in committed relationships, we don't flirt in IM's and emails. That's not loyal.
Lucky_One Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 I think it was messed up on her part to even read your emails. She obviously never trusted you in the first place. Do you always want to walk on eggshells? Yes, what you did was wrong, but she read into something that it wasn't - as many of us do in text messages, IM's, and emails. Shame on her. What in the heck did the GF read into his emails that wasn't there? He clearly says that he emailed another woman, asked her to hang out with him in a different city, and told her that he did not have a GF. It's pretty straightforward. If I read emails that my BF wrote denying my existence and that he lived with me and asking to hook up with some chick because he was in her city, then the writing is on the wall that he has a wandering d*ck, or a walkabout eye, or something. He could keep his wandering body parts, but he would be without something infinitely more valuable. Me.
RecordProducer Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 He could keep his wandering body parts, but he would be without something infinitely more valuable. Me. You think you're more valuable to him than his own dick? Women come and go, but his dick stays.
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 i am in the same situation your girlfriend is in except worst. my bf also was talking to girls on myspace and texting alot with them! i had to go through his phone while he was drunk and asleep to find out what was going on and my gutt feeling was right! i made up a fake myspace pretending i was a different girl and he was hittin on "her" trying to get to know her and wanting her phone number. he also denied me and said he had broken up with his gf because she had cheated on him after she went to the club. i couldnt hack his myspace but i tricked him telling him that i read everything and guess what? i asked him if he had anything to admit or confess..and he said "admit what? you already know everything supposebly and i know youre going to dump me so whats the point?".. so finally 3 days ago i dumped him because i realised he wasnt going to change and i have kept my phone off since then. people who say they love you but deny you behind your back and try to hang out with girls are not trustworthy and this leads us girls to think yall are cheating even if its not phisically. unless you change and show her that you only want her dont even reply to girls! im not saying dont have girlfriends but dont go over that..give her her space and then hit her up and try to get her back and tell her you love her and that you only want to be with her. atleast thats what i want my ex bf to do.
samsungxoxo Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 Ok why would you be with a girl that goes checks on your e-mail account????? This has more to do with your careless chats, but more with her behavior and how she is as a person, jealous and untrusting. You may not have cheated and certianly never slept with anyone but by replying that you're single hiding this from your g/f, you are making it sound like you want to explore out there and it's also not fair for the other girl that wanted to meet you, that's like playing with their feelings. But in my opinion I think that there's something more in the break-up than your g/f finding your e-mail chats. I see that she only used that as an excuse to break up with you, maybe she wanted to before but was waiting for a reason or any excuse. I suggest you move on with your life, forget her and learn from your mistake.
Brendi_thesnake Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Seriously why even give her your real e-mail accounts. Make a different sn and tell her to quit checking on your things. If she doesn't come back to you then it's her loss.
SueBee3490 Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 My God I can't believe some of the responses here to continue lying to this gf just to keep her - to be more secretive - questioning why you let her read your emails, etc. You sound like my bf who pretended I didn't exist. Do any of you who haven't been cheated on and telling him the gf has the problem, ever been cheated on by someone you love and the pain that causes. I am glad I got suspicious of my now H (of course I married the SOB not knowing he was cheating on me) only to find out to some women, I didn't exist. You know how small that makes you feel? That he talked about his 2 kids, his ex, his job, his brothers/sister, his parents, where he lived, etc. but didn't mention me who was a BIG part of his life? I felt like s**t. Maybe she got suspicious as I did and checked out his emails, etc. I gave my bf my password to my emails, etc. as he did me and he could read anything friends, family wrote to me - believe me there was nothing incriminating (probably because I wasn't the one cheating and had nothing to hide!) I didn't care what he read. Of course the email he gave me was the one that was "clean". He had a separate email for all his women (hmm part of his deceiving, lying, character). IMO - Just let her go - but learn and don't do this to another person. I could never trust my H again and the pain of the disrespect (the fact he acted like I didn't exist) was too much for me to deal with. If you are dating someone and want to see others, make it plain to her you will continue to date others, then she can decide if she wants to continue to see you or not.
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