Tower233 Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 I need advice... or maybe just someone to listen and understand. I meet this women a 2 years ago.. we clicked. Up until a year ago we spent a lot of time together for walks, talked on the phone for hours etc. Of course at which time I did the right thing and separated from my wife. She on the other hand remained married as she stated she is not willing to share her kids. We never did anything together other than talk, laugh. After we expresed that we loved each other a lot I finally made the decision to stop all conversations and ties.. The way the I approach this was the following: I told her that if her husband was to find out that we see each other and do things it would distroy her family and I can't be responsible for that. So we stopped seeing each other and talking. Mind you ever chance she got she would contact me on msn to see how I was doing. Well that was until about 5 weeks ago when I said that I've had enough. I sent her an email saying have a good life and I wish her the best. Followed by that I'm not going to be on Facebook or MSN anymore. So I cut off her only ties. It's been like hell ever since. I miss her so much and I'm really heart broken even though I know there is nothing more that I can do. I guess deep inside I"m hoping that she will miss me enough to make a move at some point and although my gut says that will happen my common sense says she would have done that by now if she was going too. What can I do? Is there anything? Do you think she will come back? How can someone tell you they love you and know that you will make them the happiest person in the world but not be with you? I know the kids are more important than I and that is the way it should be. Guess it's just very confusing when you are involved.
Owl Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 What's the status on your own marriage? I think I read seperated...pending divorce? Still talking? Is reconciliation any kind of remote thought? I ask, because one of the best ways to "get over it" (I hate that phrase) is to focus on YOUR situation rather than the OW's.
Geishawhelk Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 You ahd me with you, until here..... What can I do? Is there anything? Do you think she will come back? How can someone tell you they love you and know that you will make them the happiest person in the world but not be with you? I know the kids are more important than I and that is the way it should be. Guess it's just very confusing when you are involved. How can she 'come back' when she's not the one who 'went away'? You are. She already told you ages ago, what her priorities were. You simply chose to over-ride that, and sail on ahead anyway. Then, you got it. This was - and is - going nowhere. You're not confused. you're sad, frustrated, upset, angry, stressed, lonely, alone - but confused......? Nah. You know exactly what 'is', here. Her over there, and you over here. Period. Full stop. Turn page. Close chapter. Put book back up on shelf. new beginning. First step. Walk on......
Dexter Morgan Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 In general, the infidelity forum isn't really about support for hoping to break up marriages. This would be better received over in OW/OM land.
Mr. Lucky Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 I need advice... or maybe just someone to listen and understand. I meet this women a 2 years ago.. we clicked. Up until a year ago we spent a lot of time together for walks, talked on the phone for hours etc. Of course at which time I did the right thing and separated from my wife. She on the other hand remained married as she stated she is not willing to share her kids. We never did anything together other than talk, laugh. Tower, I wonder if your feelings, rather than being exclusively for her, more represent something that you sense is missing from your life? I'm going to assume you once had this same connection with your wife and think that your emotional affair with this MW is an attempt to replace that. And you situation is further conflicted by the fact that you know that your involvement with her is the wrong thing to do for both of you (and her family). I don't know if your marriage is salvageable. I do know that your best hope lies in understanding what you want from life- and love - and going about getting it from the choices you have before you. It's going to take you coming to terms with the fact that life with her isn't one of them... Mr. Lucky
Recommended Posts