ahhhchooo Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 Well, I've gone from bed-ridden for 3 weeks in August to finally coping and feeling happy about myself 3 and a half months later. I may not have a hundred friends around me, or even many good friends to talk to, but I'm feeling happy with the direction of my life again and confident I will find someone that will blow my ex out of the water. Most importantly, I'm happy just to be single! It's taken me these 3.5 months to actually get to the stage where getting out of bed in the morning is no longer a chore and I look forward to each day as I drift off to sleep. The help on these boards is great, there were some days I just absolutely couldn't face the day and to see other people struggling with the same problems and getting through it is a massive inspiration. The long time and more level headed posters like CaliGuy really help put perspective on things too, thank you to everyone. I'll still be lurking around, but one of the biggest signs I'm coping a lot better is not needing to log on here as much To those who recently found these boards after your heart was stomped on... you'll be ok! The world goes on!
gd26 Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 Three months without communicating with him and I myself feel much better. No more compulsions to contact him. Even though most days are good days now, don't be surprised if a little bit of pain does come back from time to time. After doing just fine, yesterday morning I got emotional and broke down in tears. It happens now and then. I think my tears were actually a sign that I was starting to accept that things were really over, and that I wasn't just holding out on NC waiting for him to realize how unloving he was and come back. Last night I was looking through his old emails to me, and I am amazed at how unkind he was. I wasn't ready to look at those emails earlier as it would only have set me back and torn me up inside. But I went through them last night and I can't believe I allowed myself to be pushed away like that over and over again. I am much more objective now to be able to see how cold and distant he was to me - he may have been super polite, but there was no love or compassion or sincerity in his emails to me. He just fed me line after line of how normal I am, but he just needed to 'find himself' and needed 'space' and a 'break from dating'... whatever, the truth is that he never truly cared. I realize I'm so much more deserving of more than that, and my next relationship will be so much better (as I won't stick around with anyone who pushes me away). I'm happy for you that you are doing much better. But if you sometime need to come back here for support (as we all have hard days from time to time), don't hesitate to hang around here as much as you need to. An occasional bad day doesn't have to be a setback - it can contribute to the acceptance process.
gwynieatpain Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 I'm happy for you both. To me it is much easier to cope with since we have been living apart for a long time. What makes my case different is that he had been telling me that he loved me and wanted to marry me in the past 5 years. But then once I quitted my job and ready to move in with him he changed all his words in only 2 days. It's my 7th weeks NC and I stopped feeling any pain since two weeks ago. My break up story was a joke (don't wanna go into details, see my previous posts please) I'm now a happy single and young (I'm 26) Can't wait to explore new things in life and wanna meet new friends. I know I'm not ready to commit to any relationship right now, it's not good for me either ... after a horrible break up I have to make myself a positive person, it's important to my next significant one to know a better me.
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