Author Bells Posted November 15, 2008 Author Posted November 15, 2008 I did get an email though when I got home, actually several stating that he was there, saw me “talking to other people” and left. I ask why he didn’t answer his phone or if he saw me why not come over to meet me and his response was he “expected me to be there alone and I’m rude”. See....this is what I am talking about. the ol " "Well, I was there..BUT.....<insert long intricate excuse senario here> It's just an excuse, he knew you were not a rude person, he just made some crap up for his flakey behavior. I would not jump to conclusions that you were stood up. My first thought was that the two of you missed each other in the crowd. Actually the ol "Missed each other in the crowd" excuse is a big one too. So often, it's a VERY convenient yet convincing excuse...same as "Well, I was there, and I was by the coke machine" and I say, "I was by the popcorn machine...that's several yards away from the coke machine" And they go "Ooooh...guess I just missed ya!" DUH!
carhill Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 Don't waste one more breath of your life on her. Trust me
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 Why did you ask her out again? I feel like women are flaking on you (which is in poor taste and sucks) but you are not reading the signs. Let these people go. They are not worth it. DO NOT ASK THEM OUT AGAIN after they display poor behavior around you. At this point you are just trying to control them. I don't think you even wanted to go out with her, you just wanted to say, oh yeah? that's your excuse? Fine then, let's do it another time. Right? Because you do want to go out right? That is just an excuse, right? Get what I am saying?
Charles1978 Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 Yeah man just move on. She's not interested. That doesn't reflect poorly on you... it just is what it is.
RecordProducer Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 About 4 or 5 hours before the event...I'm not around my cell when she calls, and she leaves a voicemail about (like I said) how she's feeling better now, and now is ready to meet in person. I RETURN her call (This is the FIRST time I'm actually talking to her on the phone) we don't really dilly dally with idle chit chat... Whenever people agree to meet without talking on the phone, it's not serious. That was it...so there was possibly nothing I could have said that turned her off, since it was just a short conversation about meeting.This precisely is the type of conversation that would turn me off completely: NO conversation. Maybe she didn't like the sound of my voice? (Which would be QUITE lame.) It's not lame and it's not the voice. But the first conversation is the first real contact and thus can be a true deal maker/breaker. It seems like you were too formal (as in scheduled the meeting and that was it) - this is the opposite of what most women expect: warmth, romance, passion... My advice: 1. When you establish a contact with somebody next time, call them immediately or as soon as it's convenient for them. If it takes more than a week to talk on the phone, they are not too enthusiastic about meeting you, so you shouldn't be either; cut it off at that point. 2. Get to know each other well on the phone; talk about many things, preferably more than once and at least 20-30 minutes. If someone can't hold a conversation for 20 minutes without boring the heck outta me, I am totally not interested in geting to know them. The chemistry starts with the conversation, especially when you haven't met them in person.
Shygirl15 Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 lol.. RecordProducer you always make some interesting, valuable points in your posts. It's always a pleasure reading your posts. Bells, this is the type of advice you need to follow, my friend.
carhill Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 If someone can't hold a conversation for 20 minutes without boring the heck outta me, I am totally not interested in geting to know them. Took me a bit to get all those negative sorted. Are you like that on the phone?
RecordProducer Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 lol.. RecordProducer you always make some interesting, valuable points in your posts. It's always a pleasure reading your posts. Aww, thanks, Shygirl. Took me a bit to get all those negative sorted. Are you like that on the phone? Hahah! What I meant was: if I can't find a man for whom it can't be impossible to NOT intrigue me, given my intolerance of uninteresting people, then I don't want to discontinue to ginore him. There. Does that clarify my point?
D-Jam Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 DO NOT ASK THEM OUT AGAIN after they display poor behavior around you. AGREED. This is the why I speak all the time that I give people ONE CHANCE and that's it. You flake on me, play games, whatever...you're gone and you don't get a second chance. Some might think I'm being too cut and dry, but when we tell women to death to stop forgiving and tolerating the bad behavior of their terrible boyfriends...this is no different than telling guys to kick flakes to the curve rather than keep trying to change or convert them.
carhill Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 What I meant was: if I can't find a man for whom it can't be impossible to NOT intrigue me, given my intolerance of uninteresting people, then I don't want to discontinue to ginore him. There. Does that clarify my point? Nah, just do him and get it over with
Recommended Posts