I was STOOD up!

[BrooklynBridge]

Wait. Quick question; did you go into the theater and watch the movie by yourself?

[Bells]

Wait. Quick question; did you go into the theater and watch the movie by yourself?

 

Why do you ask?

 

I was with some friends as well.

[BrooklynBridge]

Why do you ask?

 

I was with some friends as well.

 

Just seems aberrant is all. If I got stood up, I wouldn't go into the movie.

 

And what's stranger is that you were with some friends...was this supposed to be a one on one date, or hanging out with you and your pals?

[torranceshipman]

No Bells don't contact her! The whole point of this, is that you are showing her how much self-respect YOU have by moving on, and by ignoring her, you're showing her thats she's not all that, and that she doesn't merit ANY attention from you because she treated you badly. AND contact on your part will just come off as you still wanting her, which is bad seeing as she flaked on you twice already!

 

You can't demand that she respect you through an irked phone call - she clearly doesn't respect you, so just move on and forget her-she isn't worth it!

[Star Gazer]

I was with some friends as well.

 

Pffffft. Then it wasn't a date - at all. You weren't stood up.

[Bells]

Pffffft. Then it wasn't a date - at all. You weren't stood up.

 

 

Well, funny thing, there was one of our friends that actually had a woman show up froma dating site as "his date" for that evening and joined us.

 

So....after she left...everyojne was like "so what was she like, how was your date"

 

So...it was a date for them

 

So I stand by still...being stood up Being stood up goes foranyone really, not making it to a job interview is standing your boss up. Or any kind of a meet at a scheduled time that is missed.

 

If anything she's a typical game player.

[D-Jam]

Frankly, her actions say "avoidance".

 

She hasn't the spine to say no and she's not interested, so she hopes she can keep toying around and hope Bells will just "go away".

 

Even the idea that suddenly she'll be "sooooo busy" for a while is just more immaturity in that she can't just come out and say she's not interested. She's hoping you'll just "go away". Typical female lies.

 

And yes...I know men lie to and flake out on women as well...so I'm not totally taking sides here, but this is yet again the inability of many people to just be upfront, honest, and not fear if someone turns into a child causing drama because you said "no".

 

Bells, stop with this girl. If you were of any importance to her she would have come out, or called you, or made hard plans for a rain check. Stop calling her or dealing with her. If she calls you wanting to hang out, suddenly make yourself busy for a few weeks.

 

She's using you as her backup plan. I will bet money while you get the runaround some other guy will get a big "YES" and she will call it a date and her busy life suddenly won't be so busy anymore as she'll free up loads of time for this guy.

 

Sorry you got shafted yet again...but don't keep playing this woman's game. Realize she's a little girl and let her be.

 

I dunno what else to tell you. I'd say find a female friend whom you can trust and maybe ask her what she thinks about you that keeps bringing you all this bad luck with women.

[Bells]

 

I dunno what else to tell you. I'd say find a female friend whom you can trust and maybe ask her what she thinks about you that keeps bringing you all this bad luck with women.

 

That's the thing...find a female friend whom I can TRUST.....I've yet to find one in that case.

 

I mean, it's one thing if a woman blows you off.......initially...but to be the one that actually asked you out herself, then stand you up?

 

It's like they are going OUT Of their way to tick you off deliberately.

[carhill]

It's like they are going OUT Of their way to tick you off deliberately.

Once you get this at your core, you'll understand...

 

*They don't care*

 

Repeat after me

[Shygirl15]

Bells, you were told to flake on this woman before she did it to you

 

Now it's 2-0 to her and game over

 

Or... is this a different woman and you're a flake magnet?

No, this is probably a different one. He never makes more than one thread on the same woman.

[kashmir]

Once you get this at your core, you'll understand...

 

*They don't care*

 

Repeat after me

 

Definitely true for the most part, but if you piss them off enough they'll go out of their way to make things hard for you.

[carhill]

True dat; I am assuming that the OP is behaving as an otherwise respectable gentleman would

[Adamagnet]

I can tell you exactly why these women flake, but I don't think you are willing to hear it.

[Bells]

I can tell you exactly why these women flake, but I don't think you are willing to hear it.

 

I already know the answer...so no need to tell....they seems people, both men and women alike, seem to care nothing but themselves and not the feelings of others.

[bubblegum]

I can tell you exactly why these women flake, but I don't think you are willing to hear it.

 

 

Do tell Adamagnet!!!

[Bells]

Do tell Adamagnet!!!

 

No need I already did

[Kamille]

ok stupid probably irrelevant question, but did she know you meant for the two of you to meet in the theatre and not the lobby? See, unless otherwise specified, I would have assumed I was meeting my date in the lobby and would have thought that I was getting stood up.

 

But yeah, getting stood up does suck. I got stood up by a guy once and boy was his a** dumped. (Turns out he was juggling women - no big loss).

[Adamagnet]

I already know the answer...so no need to tell....

 

Do you think you accept criticism well?

 

they seems people, both men and women alike, seem to care nothing but themselves and not the feelings of others.

 

While this may be true, it is not the reason behind a flake. People flake because they lose the positive feeling about a planned activity or they never had that good vibe in the first place. Which do you think is more common for you, the former or the latter?

[InLimbo2]

So let me get this straight. You have been stood up by multiple women correct? You've met all these ladies on the internet/dating sites correct? All is hunky doory until it's time to meet in person, you're at the place of meeting, and they don't show up correct?

 

I did a fair amount of net dating back in the day. Repeated history of all this screams to me one of two things: 1 - you have no pic of you on your profile and they see you and are not interested or 2 - you have a pic on your profile that looks nothing like you really do...was 100 lbs ago....or 10 years ago. Had that happen more times than I care to admit - but didn't stand them up - but struggled through the date and never saw them again either.

 

 

 

No need I already did

[Bells]

Do you think you accept criticism well?

 

 

 

While this may be true, it is not the reason behind a flake. People flake because they lose the positive feeling about a planned activity or they never had that good vibe in the first place. Which do you think is more common for you, the former or the latter?

 

People flake, because....well, they are flakes. <shrug>

 

There is no real excuse for their behavior. If they lose the positive feeling about the planned activity, sounds like a personal problem.

 

And if they never had that good vibe in the first place, they would have never even had taken this course of action to BEGIN with.

[Bells]

So let me get this straight. You have been stood up by multiple women correct? You've met all these ladies on the internet/dating sites correct? All is hunky doory until it's time to meet in person, you're at the place of meeting, and they don't show up correct?

 

I did a fair amount of net dating back in the day. Repeated history of all this screams to me one of two things: 1 - you have no pic of you on your profile and they see you and are not interested or 2 - you have a pic on your profile that looks nothing like you really do...was 100 lbs ago....or 10 years ago. Had that happen more times than I care to admit - but didn't stand them up - but struggled through the date and never saw them again either.

 

 

There is a picture of me in my profile, and they DO represent me completely. So no issue there.

[RecordProducer]

Maybe she had white pants and she got her period right then, right there, at 6:03 p.m.

 

she said she wasn't quite sure where the exact location was, and said she'd call me when she got there to wave each other down or find each other in the crowd.

1. Why the hell would you have a blind date in the movie theater?

 

2. To find each other in the crowd?! How wise of two people who've never met! We can't find our own mother in a crowd.

 

3. She didn't know where the exact location was? You should always make sure that the other person knows exactly where to go and how to get there.

 

I know you think that she saw you and ran away or she just stood you up for the fun of it, but I really think that the horrible plan you both made was responsible for this dating fiasco.

 

What was wrong with meeting her at her favorite coffee shop where she would have likely showed up and you would've been able to actually talk?

[BubblyPopcorn]

Maybe she had white pants and she got her period right then, right there, at 6:03 p.m.

 

 

1. Why the hell would you have a blind date in the movie theater?

 

2. To find each other in the crowd?! How wise of two people who've never met! We can't find our own mother in a crowd.

 

3. She didn't know where the exact location was? You should always make sure that the other person knows exactly where to go and how to get there.

 

I know you think that she saw you and ran away or she just stood you up for the fun of it, but I really think that the horrible plan you both made was responsible for this dating fiasco.

 

What was wrong with meeting her at her favorite coffee shop where she would have likely showed up and you would've been able to actually talk?

 

These are good points and it could be a miscommunication/misplanning but in the OP's defense, he was there when he said he'd be there and he called her to let her know he was there. She didn't answer nor show up nor did she give him any indication that she was there, on her way, etc.

 

I went on a blind last year, same thing we exchanged pictures ahead of time - agreed on the time/location, etc. and I texted him when I got there to let him know I was there, he did reply back though he was on his way. An hour passes, he doesn't show & I saw a couple I knew so I talked to them while waiting but I don't hear from him so I call one last time & get voicemail. I figured he's not showing so I leave.

 

I did get an email though when I got home, actually several stating that he was there, saw me “talking to other people” and left. I ask why he didn’t answer his phone or if he saw me why not come over to meet me and his response was he “expected me to be there alone and I’m rude”.

[JamesM]

I would not jump to conclusions that you were stood up. My first thought was that the two of you missed each other in the crowd.

 

I always say assume the best about someone until proven different.

 

Have you heard from her yet?

 

If she has a viable excuse and asks for another date, will you accept the invitation?

 

Yes, I would.

[Bells]

Yeah, got an update.....I mean, I did expect her to call, but I went home, just emailed her a "what happened to ya" email.

 

 

She responded the next day saying she had to bail and not make it (that was kind of poor taste there anyhow...why call me to tell me you're going to make it, and then bail 2 minutes before the movie)

 

She said she text me, but I don't have texting on my phone...have no real need for it....I wonder if people text message people who DON"T have that service get an error message on their end saying "Sorry , user doesn't have texting" or something like that

 

So, I figure "Oh okay, well, guess we could take a raincheck on that...you got any plans this weekend? (The date was for this weekend) and shes aid her folks areflying in to help her clean up her house to put on the market, plus she's taking another vacation out of state for a week....so she said, "Let's do something in December"

 

And left it at that....yeah right, like I'm going to wait until Dec.

 

Also, it wasn't a BLIND date...we know what each other look like...and it was an OUTDOOR theater.

 

(Note this could be an entire topic altogether: Please don't pick apart the way the date is "set up" ie..."A movie date is bad for a blind date" as if you're some kind of expert on the intricacies of dating venues...there's no right or wrong answer when it comes to that kind of thing. I get a kick out of people that ask, "So where did you go for the date?" I say, "We went for ice cream and took a walk" and they say "Bad idea dude, getting ice cream on a date is TOTALLY a bad idea" Then I look at them like they have two heads and tell them to get real. LOL)

 

So basically, she called me, asked me out, made time and place to meet, and then bailed within Minutes of the movie starting.

 

Funny, she said she wasn't going to make it....but.....never actually said why. She said she didn't want to call me in the MIDDLE of the movie...so thatpeople would give me dirty looks

 

Here's an idea....contact me BEFORE the movie starts, it's in POOR taste to contact me saying you cant make an event after it's already started.

 

 

BTW..the movie started at 7, we agreed to meet at 6, so she could have CALLED me (not text me) before the movie started.

 

It's amazing the excuses people make. It's also amazing how much WORK they put into their excuses. They also try to set up the situation, to make it sound like it wasn't their fault.

 

Happens all the time with people I know in general.

 

"Hey, I called you, but you didn't answer"

 

They play dumb:" You did? I didn't get the call, what time did you call?"

 

Me: " I called at 6:30"

 

Them: "Oh, I had my phone in the car at the time" or "Oh, must've been a bad cell connection, and it didn't go through"

 

(Well if your phone was in the car, didn't you think "Well, my friend will be calling me any time....Oh, my cell phone is in the car....I better go get it so I can be by the phone when he calls!)