2muchlove Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 Imagine a couple, so perfect, so beautiful, so totally and clearly in love when they are seen together. Attached at the hip for 13 months. That was me and the girl of my dreams that I had met a year and 3 months ago. Now... This I had met this girl at my new job, the moment our eyes met it was love at first sight, the first time I have ever experienced or even believed it existed. She was drop dead gorgeous (I was one of hundreds of other guys that think so), funny, energetic, super intelligent, motivated, athletic, the most kind-hearted selfless girl I have ever met who donates her time to children each sunday and is always thinking about others before herself. She was in a crappy relationship with a horrible boyfriend of 2 years. And we hit it off from the very first day. A month after meeting and hanging out we decided to start an actual relationship. We couldn't be happier. From then on our relationship only got stronger, we were perfect. "A storybook couple" says everybody who saw us. Her parents and family absolutely adored me, and I did them too. And my family loved her too. It was too good to be true! I had no complaints for months and months, until one day I decide I want to be single because I felt she was holding me back. Now I still loved the girl with all my heart, but I felt it was in our best interest to break up because we were so young... She was heartbroken, more than anybody I have ever seen. Now of course I felt horrible, but I thought it was for the best. 2 or 3 weeks later after some days of talking and seeing each other, I decide we should try and work things out. So we get back together and we are happier than ever! Another 6 months pass and I see my life going nowhere, I am still in the same situation as I was 6 months prior and I wanted to do something with myself. So I decide to move across the country to try and make something of myself with my cousin and friend. Of course she doesn't take the news very well, but I never wanted to break up with her, just create a long distance relationship until she was done with her semester and could move out with me, which she was more than happy and willing to do. Come moving day, she writes me one of the most beautiful letters I have ever read in a leather-bound journal she got me for my birthday. So I move... We are ok the first month, we miss each other dearly. But after a while I begin to neglect her... I dont answer all of her phone calls, I dont call her back always, when we do talk it is a very short conversation and I make sure of it... I was scared of our future and this was my way of dealing with it unfortunately. Now I THOUGHT I wanted to break up with her. One night we were on the phone talking just a couple weeks ago and she asked me, sobbingly, "what do you want to do with us?" I said I think we should break up. Now Im feeling great the next couple of days, until the 3rd or 4th day rolls around. Then I start thinking, "man i really miss this girl" So I call her and talk to her, but she is of course sad, and says she needs some time to think. Days later I call and basically tells me she is upset with everything that happened and everything I did and doesnt know what she wants right now. I dont like what I hear, but I told her I would give her some time... The next day I decide I cant keep waiting around wondering what she is thinking, so I hop on a plane and fly across the country to try and win her heart back... I arrive at her house the night my plane arrives and surprise her. She is shocked to see me, but she is happy at the same time. After a few words, she tells me she needs an hour and she will call me. So I give her that hour. Ill shorten this part of the story by saying I only got to see her a couple times for the 5 days I was back in town, and only for a few minutes each time. We landed on she has "had time to think, and she feels its best right now to focus on where we need to be." She "still loves me and wants to be with me, but not at this point in time." and of course she tells me she " would love to remain friends." I ask if its over between us, and she tells me she "doesn't know" and i need to "do what makes you happy" and "do whats best for you" Now throughout all of this I am a complete wreck. I am so upset that I let this happen and I didnt eat for 5 days straight and it was awful. I need to know. What should I think of everything? Should I keep talking to her and remain her friend and hope everything will work out eventually? I recently told her I cant be her friend or talk to her because its too hard on me. And now all I want to do is fly back home and treat her like a ****in queen. What should I do!? I cant stop thinking about her, and its eating me alive, its affecting everything in my life right now. How should I deal with this. I just cant accept that such a great love we had is over just like that. Help!!
UnamedSeven Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 From what this whole thing sounds like, you really sounded Fickle. More or less, you broke up with her, and not knowing what you did, made her just a little bit farther away from you. Now, you broke up with her twice. This definetly pushed her away from you. In other words, "you dug your own grave" sorry but i feel that it should have been said Is there hope? yes. I am positive, that at some point, she will tell you whether or not you and her can have something more than a Friendship. BUT its up to you, between now and when she gives you her decision, to focus on getting everything that doesn't involve her, situated. So that, if she approves of there being a real relationship with you and her, that there won't be any problems other than the ones in the Future
Recommended Posts