How to meet a man? ;)

[lofi_tokyo]

Hahaha I know this is a crazy crazy over-generalized topic, but I need suggestions on winning guys over!

 

I guess I know plenty of places to meet guys, for instance, all of the English students on my campus bascially live in this one library on campus, so I see the same guys all the time - we never talk, but I've seen them. I met them at a English nerdo party the other week, but I've cut my hair since them, and passed them in the halls without saying hi - so... is there any hope at getting their attention without coming off as a crazy girl who clings to them?

 

And just in general! Aside from meeting someone in a class or through a sport/club what other ways of meeting people are there?

 

I'm new onto the dating scene - the one guy I dated seriously I initially got to know online - so my social skills in the field of dating are VERY minimal. I need help! lol

[Yamaha]

Eye contact and a smile will get attention. Men like to do the chasing so your role is to let the guy know you're interested and the rest is up to him. If he doesn't get/understand your interest then he is not worth pursuing.

[kashmir]

Girls don't realize how easy it is to get a guy's attention. You essentially just need to be there, no joke. I wish it was that easy for guys, haha!

 

But you can help catalyze the situation. What I mean by that is making yourself available. It's hard to approach a girl who's always with her friends or is always on the phone or something. It's possible to do, but guys like me avoid it because your chances decrease the more girls there are (because if one doesn't like you, then they all don't).

 

The library is a tricky place since most people are busy there. I go there to goof off when I'm bored, and people don't seem to appreciate that too much, ha. But if you just sit somewhere with a book, making it look like you're casually reading, I think you'll be pretty approachable. Maybe hang out at a cafe or something.

[Konfuzion]

I am right here waiting for signals from you

 

Ok all jokes aside a simple smile will do the trick with a little extended eye contact. If that doesn't work 1) the guy is stupid or 2) Hes not interested or 3) Hes shy.

[Charles1978]

I'm not a big fan of the "chase", so to speak. I like getting to know a woman with a mutual interest. I'm not a mind reader. The last couple times it fell in my lap, but I'll share the stories because it shows the two different approaches. The first, in one of my engineering classes... I noticed this girl WAY across the room. We couldn't have sat farther apart if we tried. But we noticed eachother the first day. So after the first 3 or 4 classes, I decide to sit closer. I don't sit next to her. I sat in the row in front of her about 4 spots away. Sure enough, she relocates and sits right next to me. I'm going through my stuff looking for a pen, but I notice her sit down. Right off the bat, she reaches out to introduce herself. I introduce myself and we make small talk. At the end of the class, she says, "would it be ok if I got your number?" So we exchanged numbers.

 

The 2nd one... not nearly as attractive as the first. Not that it matters. Before another class, I go to buy a snack from the machine. Decided on animal crackers... yep. I hadn't had animal cookies since I was little. I go outside and keep to myself... enjoying my animal crackers. This girl approaches and says..."So, do you eat the heads first?" At first I had no idea what she was talking about. She laughed, I caught on, and told her "no, I prefer the legs first". Something as simple as that started a good conversation. She invited me to her birthday party, but I couldn't make it. We are still friends today.

 

So it is often really simple. Most guys are more than happy to talk to girls, and I find it attractive for a girl to initiate a conversation. It is different... sets them apart. It's a big plus in my book.

[lofi_tokyo]

Alright! Thank you for the advice! More posts are always welcome, but I'll definately try to subtlety give off "I'm interested vibes" while being approachable - ie. not looking busy with homework or busy with a friend.

 

Generally once I get talking to a guy, they ask for my number, but the problem always is actually GETTING them to talk to me! ;p

[RachelM]

Well next time you get one offer too many for your number, send them my way. =?) I can't hold eye contact long enough to guage a response without cowering in fear and running in the opposite direction.

[MN randomguy]

It's hard to approach a girl who's always with her friends or is always on the phone or something. It's possible to do, but guys like me avoid it because your chances decrease the more girls there are (because if one doesn't like you, then they all don't).

 

 

 

Good post. From the guy's point of view the only way to approach a whole slew of girls is to have a whole group of people with you to distract her friends and keep them from "blocking". But, more moving parts = more problems.

 

Also,

 

One or two friends are OK, go for quality over quantity. No B#tchy, bossy or negative girls. They will be another obstacle.

[rod_in_gtown]

Alright! Thank you for the advice! More posts are always welcome, but I'll definately try to subtlety give off "I'm interested vibes" while being approachable - ie. not looking busy with homework or busy with a friend.

 

Generally once I get talking to a guy, they ask for my number, but the problem always is actually GETTING them to talk to me! ;p

 

Ask them about anything, like what they did yesterday or if they saw a TV show that you might've seen.

 

Guys LOVE to talk about themselves and their interests. If they have a t-shirt that says GIANTS, ask them how their team did this year, they'll just get going. you could ask me about the dead rat on the middle of the road and I'll get a conversation going. I'll know if you're interested if you keep asking questions. Eventually I'll ask other questions back and maybe even for your number. We can be shy but get us going and we're little energizer bunnies.

[prettybaby]

Eye contact and a smile will get attention.

Exactly! Whenever I see a cute guy, I look at him and do the shy smile lol (the subtle kind where you don't show your teeth). It always gets their attention.

 

Then it all depends on their personality. With the shy ones, I'll have to run into them a few times before it gets to the actual "hey" or "hello" part. Then if he's cute enough, I ask a question (it can be totally random, like what time it is or whatever. However, it's best to come up with something you actually need help with; something that needs a longer answer). Then before you know it, you've got yourself a conversation started.

 

It's actually ridiculously easy.

[CommitmentPhobe]

Give me a break, you're on a campus, you can already meet people through parties, halls, clubs etc, as you said in your opening post. You don't even know how good you have it. Why don't you just go hang out with them down the bar. By sheer numbers of the environment you're in you shouldn't have to make hardly any effort at all.

[kashmir]

Give me a break, you're on a campus, you can already meet people through parties, halls, clubs etc, as you said in your opening post. You don't even know how good you have it. Why don't you just go hang out with them down the bar. By sheer numbers of the environment you're in you shouldn't have to make hardly any effort at all.

 

Would you say this applies to guys too? I'm on a campus and it's not as easy as it sounds...

[prettybaby]

Give me a break, you're on a campus, you can already meet people through parties, halls, clubs etc, as you said in your opening post. You don't even know how good you have it. Why don't you just go hang out with them down the bar. By sheer numbers of the environment you're in you shouldn't have to make hardly any effort at all.

It really depends what campus though. Some are more sociable than others. I've been to a few, and you can't really generalize.

[CommitmentPhobe]

It really depends what campus though. Some are more sociable than others. I've been to a few, and you can't really generalize.

 

I can generalise. Several thousand young people all within the space of a small area, all in the same boat. There will always be events, clubs and parties, and opportunities to meet people, it's just a case of whether you want to put yourself out there or not.

[alphamale]

Eye contact and a smile will get attention. Men like to do the chasing so your role is to let the guy know you're interested and the rest is up to him. If he doesn't get/understand your interest then he is not worth pursuing.

this is the answer...

[kashmir]

I can generalise. Several thousand young people all within the space of a small area, all in the same boat. There will always be events, clubs and parties, and opportunities to meet people, it's just a case of whether you want to put yourself out there or not.

 

And I can generalize when I say that the vast vast vast majority of people at those events, clubs, and parties are not worth it at all. I can get into why they're not, but you should know right off the bat that they're not right when you try to be friendly and they're unreceptive or snippy with you. It's about about cliques, unfortunately, and when you're not in a certain clique, people will think bad of you before you ever talk to them.

 

I'm still trying to find people who don't think this way. I have my share of activities I do besides schoolwork, but clique-crazy people dominate EVERY aspect of school, including classes of all difficulties (ie not just the bs majors and classes that lazy people take).

[lovestruck818]

You can meet someone anywhere. 2 of my ex boyfriends I met on the train home from work. Another one I met online @ a pizza place. You can seriously meet someone anywhere...when you're not even looking for them. Smiling is the key...guys want to be around someone who is fun to be around.

[fral945]

Look pretty, find a public place, and smile and make eye contact with all the attractive men that walk by. It really is that simple for a woman, you don't even have to speak, lol.

[Isolde]

The "smile and make eye contact" has rarely, if ever, worked for me. Am I missing something here? Generally, people who were interested either:

 

spoke to me regardless of whether I was looking at them/smiling

weren't aware i was up for talking until i actually initiated conversation.

[lofi_tokyo]

Everyone is saying how easy the smile/eyecontact thing is, and like, it does work at BARs or PARTIES but honestly? I'm a nerdy school loving girl who prefers going on random adventures exploring the city on my friday nights over drinking all the time. I like lounging, I do that a ton, but yeah! Its not really my scene to be partying all the time.

 

On campus I just don't find the smile/eyecontact trick working.. but I'll keep it up, maybe someday I'll catch a bold guy! Generally though, its guys off the street or drunk guys that go for me when I do that. ;p

 

Anyways, thanks again for the advice!

And to whoever asked, yes thats me in the picture!

[Isolde]

Everyone is saying how easy the smile/eyecontact thing is, and like, it does work at BARs or PARTIES but honestly? I'm a nerdy school loving girl who prefers going on random adventures exploring the city on my friday nights over drinking all the time. I like lounging, I do that a ton, but yeah! Its not really my scene to be partying all the time.

 

On campus I just don't find the smile/eyecontact trick working.. but I'll keep it up, maybe someday I'll catch a bold guy! Generally though, its guys off the street or drunk guys that go for me when I do that. ;p

 

Anyways, thanks again for the advice!

And to whoever asked, yes thats me in the picture!

 

Yeah, the smile thing doesn't work just on the street, or even in a grocery store (in my experience), if you want to meet quality guys you may have to go up and say hi which I for one am too shy to do. Another problem is there's no way of knowing if a cute guy you encounter randomly is taken. I think the best policy, as much as it absolutely sucks, is to not put too much stock on random encounters, but to definitely keep yourself open to it if the occasion arises, like if someone's reading a book in a bookstore that you like (does that make sense)?

 

But you're in college, so you can at least start by making more friends on campus, its a less threatening environment.

[monkey00]

Hey, if that's you in the pic you're definitely pretty.

 

Anyway for a story of how I met my ex in college was one day she approached me after a class field trip had ended. I crossed the street and she ran up to me and pretended not to know the way back to the train station. We found the train and she said she was hungry so we went out to eat that night...and then that's pretty much how it all started. But until that day, we had not noticed each other at all.

 

If you're not shy I'd recommend you follow something similar and ask for a guy's help. I admit some of us are really oblivious when a girl likes us. Or go with the traditional EC and smile routine which works pretty well.

[kashmir]

Hey, if that's you in the pic you're definitely pretty.

 

Anyway for a story of how I met my ex in college was one day she approached me after a class field trip had ended. I crossed the street and she ran up to me and pretended not to know the way back to the train station. We found the train and she said she was hungry so we went out to eat that night...and then that's pretty much how it all started. But until that day, we had not noticed each other at all.

 

If you're not shy I'd recommend you follow something similar and ask for a guy's help. I admit some of us are really oblivious when a girl likes us. Or go with the traditional EC and smile routine which works pretty well.

 

If you feel outgoing, you can approach a guy and he'll probably be welcoming. If you're shy, just smile and look welcoming and eventually something will happen.

 

Girls who ask for help could be doing it because they like the guy? Hell, whenever a random girl asks me for something I don't think anything of it and just help her out (assuming she was nice about it). I never considered they could be asking for other reasons.

 

Yeah, the smile thing doesn't work just on the street, or even in a grocery store (in my experience), if you want to meet quality guys you may have to go up and say hi which I for one am too shy to do. Another problem is there's no way of knowing if a cute guy you encounter randomly is taken. I think the best policy, as much as it absolutely sucks, is to not put too much stock on random encounters, but to definitely keep yourself open to it if the occasion arises, like if someone's reading a book in a bookstore that you like (does that make sense)?

 

But you're in college, so you can at least start by making more friends on campus, its a less threatening environment.

 

I've had more luck out in the real world than on a campus. People are definitely more open and less threatening away from here.

[mandyp]

I recently read a really good book on the subject of dating and meeting guys. It helped me out when I was in a bit of a 'slump', so to speak.

 

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1409221822

 

Might be worth a look anyway.

 

Good luck with the dating.

[prettybaby]

I'm not a party girl either. The eye contact & smile thing works everywhere. Heck, even in stores. I guess body language matters too, you just have to be approachable. I'm not saying you're not; I have no idea how you carry yourself lol Just thought I'd add it.