Sysyphus28 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Dear Ex, When I saw you sitting on (our) mutual friends couch after I surprised them and stopped by in the morning I was completely torn up. 2 months ago you were on my mind every morning and night. I felt like breaking down all the time, because when I thought of you I started to miss you so badly. You broke my heart and I believed I really loved you. Now when I think of you I would like to throw up in my own mouth. I am completely embarrassed that I acted like a NEEDY jackass, and not like the brave person I have become. The way you broke up with me and the way you betrayed my trust and friendship was disgusting. In fact, you are disgusting. You have slept with a majority of your best friends including your current b/f, and now you have a bunch of groupies. WELL, I "had" you in my life for 2 1/2 years and I refuse to be your groupie. You are not an admirable person, you are not a friend, you are not someone that deserves my kindness or caring. Don't think everyone(all of our friends) are not aware of your childish actions and your intolerable behavior towards me. They must know you are a piece of s*** for what you did. It is November and I still think of you sometimes. It starts out nostalgic and then it turns into pure feelings of disgust. The bitterness outweighs the sweetness by pounds. You were such a nasty b**** towards the end, I wonder how I could even care enought to write this. In all my life, I have never been screwed over so badly by a woman. As I type that I am laughing though. Because you are nothing more than a little girl. Your actions defined your character. If I see you around, you will most likely get a middle finger and a smile. That's all I got left for you. You lying, cheating, NO GOOD, child. Sincerely, G
kizik Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Good stuff Sys. Not sure if you wanted any responses here, but mine is this: Writing like this is a great way to get your emotions out, make sense of them. You are currently "seeing the light" of how f*cked up she was and how lame the relationship was. Keep that anger with you, but don't let it affect your future relationships. You rock, I'm here for ya. Josh
Author Sysyphus28 Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 I am going to see elliot lipp tonight...........some hip/hop trance sh** tonight, I am psyched to not have to worry about another person now////////////// No more worrying or answering to someone else......................................JUST ME
kizik Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Werd, I am seeing Keller Williams tomorrow... no GF to fret about. "Are you having fun?" "No." "Why not?" blahblahblah
foxh1234 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Werd, I am seeing Keller Williams tomorrow... no GF to fret about. "Are you having fun?" "No." "Why not?" blahblahblah Keller Williams is awesome man. Let me know how the show was.
kizik Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 I will, fox... Sysyphus's ex sucks! [obvious thread shoutout, so as not to get an infraction ]
Author Sysyphus28 Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 She has become, and I say become, because this transformation was out of the blue. ONE of those wookie-ass disco biscuit crystal cocked hat glowstick earing big shades at night types............... It has been wierd to watch this post 90's raver girl pop out of my 21 year old ex girlfriend.... I'm 28 , going to be 29, I want something real. I want someone who has thier sh** together and doesn't call their mom 6 times a week. I want someone who can talk without saying "like" and without being childish. What was I thinking getting with some emerging 19 year old hippie girl. I mean, she was/is super HOT. But she is truly an A**hole. Truly an identity-less scrub. It's funny, because I reallu had respect for her. I really did love her. But she clowned me over and over. I remeber pacing and pacing in my yard or at work talking to her all summer, waiting on scraps of affection I would get from her. MEanwhile she is getting deep di**** my some other dude and going to shows and doing drugs. SCRAPS of affection. I would jump like a dog after a doggie treat if she even called me. It was the saddest sh** ever. Man, i am so embarrassed. I got clowned over and over again. AND every time, the joke was on me. It was me with the sh** pie in my face. I really did love her though. She was my babe. It is surprising how much anger I haVE TOWARDs her. I will let it cool sooner or later. Right now, it reminds me of what a lying,cheating, pig she is. It helps me let go of any good feeligns i have. How do I get rid of these bad ones though?! I don't want to have hate in my heart.
kizik Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 I want someone who has thier sh** together and doesn't call their mom 6 times a week. ...I remeber pacing and pacing in my yard or at work talking to her all summer, waiting on scraps of affection I would get from her. ... I would jump like a dog after a doggie treat if she even called me. ... I don't want to have hate in my heart. Hey man, everything I have quoted from your post is how I feel, too. My ex couldn't live a day without the advice of her parents. She chose them over me, every time. I fed on her scraps of attention too. The hate will seep from your heart, man, I promise. It just takes time. You have to force thoughts of her from your mind, each time they enter. You'll be fine man. Just be yourself, and try to avoid being bitter (not saying you ARE bitter, but just for the future). Josh
lofi_tokyo Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 I think its totally fine that you are angry with her because she hurt you, and being angry shows you're healing, it shows you are letting emotions happen. Eventually you will need to let go - you can't let bitterness haunt you forever, but its only been two months, after 2+ years. Its absolutely alright to let some rage out right now.
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