Craicdup Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Need some help from fellow women in relationships. My partner has made it clear to me that he likes surfing websites that are pretty much all about half naked (or naked) tits and ass, but not really porn -ie chickipedia, Maxim etc. Right or wrong, (which is why I'm writing, to try and find out if the issue is with me, with him or with both of us) it makes me feel like he needs another sexual outlet than being with me and like he must not be satisfied with what he has. The idea of him needing to look at other women for their bodies makes me feel really bad and yet the crazy thing about all of this is that I am very open and uninhibited sexually myself - I am very attractive and have no problem showing off my own body. I have no issue with watching porn together and going at it, I dress up for him and yadda yadda. He has told me that we have the best sex together that he has ever had. All that said, he won't tell me that he won't search out these sites and look at this stuff. He says he doesn't do it very often, it doesn't really do anything for him but he enjoys it and doesn't see anything wrong with it. It is really hurting me and while he sees that, and feels badly, he doesn't see why he should stop. Is he being an ass here or is this totally my issue? This could be a real deal-breaker for us. Thanks for your help in advance.
JackJack Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 It sounds more like your issue, because he is not the one that its bothering. Yes, you will probably get a few women who will tell you this too believe it or not. He told you he didn't do this often and it not like hardcore porn. Although I understand you wanting him to desire you and only you, just because he sees some other womens T&A doesn't mean he doesn't love/care for you. If you surfed the net for half naked men (not porn) would he be ok with it? If not then its both your issue. I wouldn't think its ok for one and not the other. If you feel its a possible deal breaker, then end it now, because I highly doubt he will stop.
2sure Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Looking at attractive women, or T & A is not the same as porn. Its healthy.
rainfall Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Looking at attractive women, or T & A is not the same as porn. Its healthy. I don't see how it is healthy if you are in a relationship. I think it is disrespectful and harmful to the relationship.
Lizzie60 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 I don't think it's a big deal .. personally.. but if YOU think it is .. then it is... and you need to sit with him and discuss it.. Tell him it's a deal breaker for you.. and if he doesn't stop.. you're out.. simple as that.. if he loves you, he'll stop or at least, won't do it in your face..
EnigmasMuse Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 "What should I be alright with?" Well, that is the question. Its what you're ok with or not ok with. If you feel its not acceptable for him to do that, then its not. You can't help the way you feel. Even if some feel its not a big deal, if it is to you then that is what matters most. Talk with him about how it makes you feel. If he refuses to stop after knowing how you feel on the issue, then you have your answer as to what is more important to him.
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