she said she cant be with me anymore..she isnt in love with me anymore.

[illu5i0n]

Hi guys..this is my first time writing here..so i will begin the story as it happened.

 

 

Im 20 and the girl 19 years old.so we met on metal concert on the tram to it and by coinsidense..when the concert ended we met on the tram again and had a time talking etc..anyways..we exchanged numbers..we sent some messages and went 3 times for a drink..and we had some conversation from MSN that showed somthing was builting up..from both sides...and after a coople days we ended up together.(that happened at March) about 3 weeks from when we met...

 

we got together and we where so happy about it...pasionate kisses and many many things.But she had some exams then coming and we didnt had much time together but she was to pasionate..in all of here messages and when we were together...

 

at summer we had sme time together at last and we where about everyday together having much fun..and it was time for her first time(you know what i mean)and she wanted me to be her first..as i was proceeding day by day to make her more comfortable...we dicided to go on vacation on some island and do it there.

 

A couple days before we leave for there..some **** happened with her mother(she is a divorced mother) and she had no mood for anything special when we got there..when we got back to the city we gradually were fine again..and ready to continue normaly our relationship.

 

But then the results of the exams i mentioned were anounced then and she has to move to an other city..we where both very sad..and i tried to convience her to stay..but she didnt..anyway..

 

after some days we where ready to continue our relationship from distance and it would be ok...but she went there didnt like it..and staied here finnaly..but had many arguments with her mom for it..(because she thought she stayed because of me).and she told me after a couple days she want some time alone to think..because she was very sad and confuzed about what happend...and i didnt do anything wrong etc..its her fault etc..

 

after 3 days..we got back again..and said she wanted to go through this with me..but things eventually didnt proceed well again..everything was ok with her fammily etc..and there wasnt something that kept her depressed..so she started not calling me ..not proposing me to go out etc..and then i told her to spent some time off to think whats she really wants...

 

and then tell me.She got upset about that and when we discussed over it we solved our problems that wwhere bothering us.but after that she was texting me more..and proposing me mroe to go out with her but when we where together she was cold and avoidant...and finaly she said she want to talk to me...and we talk.

 

she said that about 2 months ago(about when the result of the exams anounced)she started lossing feeling..and she wasnt in love with me anymore..she said that i didnt do anything wrong..and this has happed again with an Ex she had and was love with him too and wanted him as her first to make love.

 

she said she cant be with me anymore..she tried to fall in love with me..and tried to stop it..but it didnt work..so she was feeling depressed about doing this to me and being with me without feeling..and that she must have been the one that got hurt..not me..because i didnt deserve it.

 

anyhow..i tried to make some points to her..and understand that she may be through a tough phase of her life..and i will give her time..but she said that she doesnt want to give me false hopes..and we said goodnight etc..huged..and she told me that she want to see me some time etc..if i dont hold grudges...

 

 

so...what do i do here:( she said she was really in love with me and i didnt do anything wrong..what are the chances see will return to me?

[Alex_M]

Sorry to hear this is happening to you, it might be one of the hardest breakups to hear (that they stopped loving you)

 

Do you think that there could be someone else involved?

 

Similar thing is happening to me at the moment, I'm about 1 month in and we've started talking more and more often (she's busy and not always around).

 

Uhh you can try and patch it up if you think it's worth it, but if you don't see it working (you know her best) just go NC and if she sorts her life out she might come back and try and find you. You might have moved on by then so it doesn't matter either way.

 

If you do want to try and sort it out you can try:

Give her space either way, don't call unless you can think of an honest reason, sometimes a text message can be better because she isn't forced to deal with it straight away. Make improvements to your own life. < Important. Come out of the breakup with a more successful life.

 

Just talk to her occasionally, take things nice and slow but be happy, don't make her dread contact which always makes one of you upset. Don't keep asking to see her, let her give you signs first; like "I've always wanted to go to ____". Then just roll with it.

 

Trying to fix something like this after a breakup is a huuuuge emotional risk. One that I'm taking myself. Just remember that this isn't a sure way for it to work and always assume that it's not going to happen, so that IF it does you can be surprised not expectant. IF it doesn't work out you can just continue healing.

 

Good luck, she sounds like a lovely girl

[illu5i0n]

thanks for the concern man..i appriciate it.SO..i dont think she met someone else...and i think that something i did on the period that she was confuzed..might had hurt her..but i think she would have told me that and we would talk about it..and work it out...so..i dont see an obvious reason..and therfore i cant assume what to patch up:(..she said it was not my fault..i did nothing wrong..

 

so the best thing is to go NC for as long as it take her to contact me..then talk for some time...and if i see it worths it..to try to talk about it with her?

[Alex_M]

I wouldn't talk about it with her unless she wants to or after you guys find it comfortable.