Lizzyb6938 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 my boyfriend of 2.5 years and i just broke up because of stress, changing goals, etc. he broke up with me because he's about to start med which is alot of stress. we met up monday to talk about it all, had the best day, he wanted to get back together and see 'alot more lizzy' next year but i said that he was still confused and needed to figure himself out and we could do the same day when he comes home from his holiday in January. he wrote a msg saying 'i love you and i want to be the man of your dreams' when he left. i suggested no contact until he came home but he said he still wanted to talk while he was away. ok so since then i've had a few smiley faces on face book but nothing else. i called him today (really shouldn't have) and had a bit of a chat, my phone was dieing so he's calling back later tonight. I don't know whether i should tell him no contact til he comes home is good or just let him contact me when he feels like it (which is killing me). what do you think?
northstar1 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 my boyfriend of 2.5 years and i just broke up because of stress, changing goals, etc. he broke up with me because he's about to start med which is alot of stress. we met up monday to talk about it all, had the best day, he wanted to get back together and see 'alot more lizzy' next year but i said that he was still confused and needed to figure himself out and we could do the same day when he comes home from his holiday in January. he wrote a msg saying 'i love you and i want to be the man of your dreams' when he left. i suggested no contact until he came home but he said he still wanted to talk while he was away. ok so since then i've had a few smiley faces on face book but nothing else. i called him today (really shouldn't have) and had a bit of a chat, my phone was dieing so he's calling back later tonight. I don't know whether i should tell him no contact til he comes home is good or just let him contact me when he feels like it (which is killing me). what do you think? Lizzy, will he be studying medicine in the same city as you, or is he going away to do it?
Author Lizzyb6938 Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 same city. but i very likely might be moving. his sister does medicine and had a very bad breakup with her boyfriend over it. she was just stressed 24/7 and her boyfriend just got in the way too much so she ended up taking it all out on him which ended things. he said to me on monday that he'd like to start medicine and wanted to work a way to factor me in. i don't know, he's a bit of a confused little boy right now. he says he loves me alot and wants to be the man of my dreams but at the same time is having doubts, so i'm just going to leave him to his own devices for a while i think.
bubblegum Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Did he call you back last night? How did you two leave things?
Author Lizzyb6938 Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 well it was interesting. on monday he basically told me that he loved me alot and was crying and laughing and just wanted to hug me forever and take me on the plane with him. he wanted to get back together. he was just absolutely wonderful and never wanted to let me go. he wrote a message saying he wanted to be the man of my dreams and he loved me afterwards. well we spoke last night and he was kind of a bit more blaze. like we had a fine conversation about stuff that was going on like me studying, packing etc but he just seemed a bit more removed. but he's always a little distant on the phone compared to person because it's late at night and he lying down and sort of half asleep. Anyways he mentioned me going out this weekend- whether i was. i said possibly and he's like oh are you going to meet boys. and i said well i guess i will meet boys, he was just probing a bit and i said i didn't want to talk about it. he asked if anyone had tried to kiss me since we broke up. i said yes. he asked whether they had succeeded and i said no i ran away to which he laughed and laughed. because we had such a fun wonderful amazing day monday i suggested that we do it one more time before he left monday. he's very busy with family and seeing people before he leaves (coz he'll be away of christmas and new years) but was trying to factor me in. he said what about we do it next year when i come back. he said i could also come to his friends 'were not going to be here for christmas christmas dinner' on saturday. I asked if he wanted me to go and he said 'i don't mind' i kept pushing it asking if he wanted me to go and he kept saying 'i care about whether you come or not but i'm not making that decision i'll leave it up to you.' which is enfuriating. i don't think i'm going to go. i think it'd be weird going to this thing with all his friends there and them wondering whats going on. i think it would be a bit pathetic honestly. and he was very ambivalent. h i'm a bit confused actually- this was the guy who was totally in love with me monday, didn't want to let me go, kept saying how much he loved me and missed me. he cried a bit as well because he didn't want to loose me and told me how much he loved me. he said he wanted to contact me in europe and even wanted to buy a phone card possibly. it was the most wonderful day- it think about it now and kind of cry because it was that wonderful and now i don't know whats going on. i almost wish we'd never had it coz it's just made me so confused. i just don't know what to think. he said he loved me on the phone. i think i'm going to just write him a msg saying. 'i'd love to see you before you go but i think it might be a bit weird on saturday. have the best trip ever- don't forget the tower of London :-) love lizzy' maybe i'm just over analysing things too much- i mean maybe he was just tired like he always is on the phone. i mean you don't say all those things and then not mean them two days later right?
northstar1 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 well it was interesting. on monday he basically told me that he loved me alot and was crying and laughing and just wanted to hug me forever and take me on the plane with him. he wanted to get back together. he was just absolutely wonderful and never wanted to let me go. he wrote a message saying he wanted to be the man of my dreams and he loved me afterwards. well we spoke last night and he was kind of a bit more blaze. like we had a fine conversation about stuff that was going on like me studying, packing etc but he just seemed a bit more removed. but he's always a little distant on the phone compared to person because it's late at night and he lying down and sort of half asleep. Anyways he mentioned me going out this weekend- whether i was. i said possibly and he's like oh are you going to meet boys. and i said well i guess i will meet boys, he was just probing a bit and i said i didn't want to talk about it. he asked if anyone had tried to kiss me since we broke up. i said yes. he asked whether they had succeeded and i said no i ran away to which he laughed and laughed. because we had such a fun wonderful amazing day monday i suggested that we do it one more time before he left monday. he's very busy with family and seeing people before he leaves (coz he'll be away of christmas and new years) but was trying to factor me in. he said what about we do it next year when i come back. he said i could also come to his friends 'were not going to be here for christmas christmas dinner' on saturday. I asked if he wanted me to go and he said 'i don't mind' i kept pushing it asking if he wanted me to go and he kept saying 'i care about whether you come or not but i'm not making that decision i'll leave it up to you.' which is enfuriating. i don't think i'm going to go. i think it'd be weird going to this thing with all his friends there and them wondering whats going on. i think it would be a bit pathetic honestly. and he was very ambivalent. h i'm a bit confused actually- this was the guy who was totally in love with me monday, didn't want to let me go, kept saying how much he loved me and missed me. he cried a bit as well because he didn't want to loose me and told me how much he loved me. he said he wanted to contact me in europe and even wanted to buy a phone card possibly. it was the most wonderful day- it think about it now and kind of cry because it was that wonderful and now i don't know whats going on. i almost wish we'd never had it coz it's just made me so confused. i just don't know what to think. he said he loved me on the phone. i think i'm going to just write him a msg saying. 'i'd love to see you before you go but i think it might be a bit weird on saturday. have the best trip ever- don't forget the tower of London :-) love lizzy' maybe i'm just over analysing things too much- i mean maybe he was just tired like he always is on the phone. i mean you don't say all those things and then not mean them two days later right? Sounds like he's giving off some mixed signals. He is probing to see if you are getting attention from others, but then doesn't seem to want to see you alone before he leaves. So either he is emotionally distancing himself, or he is not sure what he wants. Think about this, is he making you a priority? Seems like he wants to know your interested and still an option, but isnt' willing to give himself to you.
Author Lizzyb6938 Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 exactly. well stuff that. thing is if i'd have asked on monday it would have been absolutely fine, no worries. but i'm not going to wait around for someone who wants me and only me one minute and then is ambivalent the next. i think i might go no contact. do you think i should even bother messaging him back to say i'm not coming?
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