whatever3 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 hi everyone, new here...and im a little confused - hope you guys could help there is a guy i work with (i know i know) we have been work friends for about 3-4 months and just recently started seeing eachother. at first, everything was great...i really liked him and he was always saying how much he liked me... after about a week or two, he started saying he didn't want to be calling me or seeing me as much (we were talking multiple times a day and seeing eachother for atleast lunch everyday). he said that he didn't really want a gf or to fall in love or to get used to me. im not particularly looking for a relationship but i do like being around him. any advice about where i should go from here? do i back off, do i play hard to get, do i push the issue or just let it go and see what happens?
Author whatever3 Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 oh sorry, i left that part out haha. his first language isn't english - he has only been in the US for 2 years so we have some definite communication issues. i meant to title it language differences but culture came out first, sorry
taiko Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Without knowing the cultures involved how can anyone say? There are no generalizations as a starting point for discussion.
Kamille Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 after about a week or two, he started saying he didn't want to be calling me or seeing me as much (we were talking multiple times a day and seeing eachother for atleast lunch everyday). he said that he didn't really want a gf or to fall in love or to get used to me. I think no matter what the first language, the guy's message is pretty clear. He doesn't want a relationship. Listen to him. Ask yourself if a casual relationship is enough for you. Be honest with yourself. My guess is that you would like more. Don't fool yourself into thinking that with time he will change his mind. You deserve more then to be dating someone who is iffy about wanting to be with you. Now be honest with him and if you want more, nicely tell him so, thank him for the great times you shared and then back off and move on. If his speech was meant as a way out, or as a way to push you into a purely casual relationship, he will back off and you won't have lost anything. If he cares for you, he will come around.
Jo78 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 after about a week or two, he started saying he didn't want to be calling me or seeing me as much (we were talking multiple times a day and seeing eachother for atleast lunch everyday). he said that he didn't really want a gf or to fall in love or to get used to me. I don't see how this message could be ambiguous - different native language or not. Be just as clear as he is and tell him what you told us - you are not particularly interested in relationship either, but value the friendship you guys have.
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