4dviceJunki3 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Okay, now I know I give out a lot of advice to people out there but I'm sort of in need of a second opinion so to say, here's the story: About 5 months ago, I was browsing around this social networking website and happen to come across a picture of this girl with gorgeous eyes. I was at work and really didn't think anything of it but I decided to just msg her with something stupid like "Hey can I please borrow ur eyes?". Anyways, she ended up responding and we started talkn and she came out to be a really cool chick. Well, after about a month of talkn on the site, we exchanged phone numbers and she ended up txting me. We texted back and forth and ended up talkn on the phone. Four months later (October), there was this event that we both had tickets for so since we were both going, but not together, we decided we would meet up for the first time. We met up there and partied the entire night together and she ended up being this amazingly beautiful girl with a kick ass personality, however, she is 19 yrs old, I'm 24. I really don't care as much, or should I? lol Anyways, we ended up kissing that night and ever since that night, she's been acting as if shes my girlfriend and we did talk about the whole relationship idea and she said she was really into me and I said heck, she seems cool and I know I wont hurt her, so I decided to pursue it. We considered ourselves together and in less than 2 weeks, something occurrred that changed everything. She was at work and this guy that she had been talking too before she met me, came by her store, crying his eyes out, asking for her to take him back. Now mind you that this guy she was dating before, had just taken off on her and left her without saying anything back then. Me and her had dinner plans that night so I get a txt from her saying that drama went down and we need to cancel; I figured something happened with work. Well, she ended up not hitting me up for a few days and when I talked to her, she told me that when he came back telling her all these things, she the rush of feelings she had for him back then came back and now she's confused as to what she wants to do. I tried to fight for her a little bit and told her that this guy had his chance and he screwed it up and now he comes back and you're actually considering giving him a second chance but me not even a single chance? Anyways, I've been tumbling back and forth with her these past couple of days and our relationship has completely ceased to exist because of this dude. Now good thing is that I'm not madly in love with her or anything, just minor feelings so I'm not heartbroken but more annoyed at the entire situation as a whole. I mean she told me that she has feelings for me and also that she wants to be with me but she doesn't want to take me for granted. However, she's completely changed how she acts with me and the context in her txt msgs has completely changed as if we're friends that JUST met. How come she doesn't realize that this guy messed up on her once and that she shouldn't give him a chance and that she should just tell this dude that she's got a boyfriend and that he messed up when he had his chance? I figured I would come to you guys for advice and see what you guys think. Do you think it has anything to do with her age? I mean I know for a fact that experience plays a big role in how you handle situations like this but still, just need a word of advice from you guys; thanks! =)
Davey McG Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Now good thing is that I'm not madly in love with her or anything, just minor feelings so I'm not heartbroken but more annoyed at the entire situation as a whole. Phew! This will make the next step much easier: Move on. Seriously, if she's this flaky now its better to walk away before it gets messy. Probably is something to do with her age, but there's nothing you can do about that.
Sysyphus28 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 This might seem fun. You being 24 and her 19. I was 26 and my girl was 19. It is the worst idea in the whole world. You mine as well pick up a stick of dynamite, light it, and put it next to you while you are taking a nap. Seriously. It may start out awesome, and the sex might be feverish and hot as hell, but when emotions get involved, and when push comes to shove, you will find yourself burnt and wondering "what happened?". Younger woman change like they are changing a new shirt. Your hot one second, then they don't know what they want, then they want to be alone, then they want to be in love, then they want to have two guys, then they want to try being a lesbian, then they want to shave thier head, etc, etc, etc. Be with a woman with self-identity and who will not drop you on a whimsy. 24-----------99 Thier is your new age range! Out of college, has a job, has thier own place, etc, etc.
O'Malley Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 You're being put into 'back burner' territory; basically, you'll become her confidant when she has issues with other guys, while she still gets an ego boost from your attraction to her. She may possibly date you again if she can't find anyone else she prefers. Why stick around to be someone's second choice?
Author 4dviceJunki3 Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 Good points from everyone! She actually called me last night crying but I didn't let that break through my armor and I held my own. I let her know that she needs to have my experience to see things in my perspective and unless she doesn't go through it herself, she won't know how to make a rational decision when she's faced to make one. I told her that I wouldn't want to be the person that she experiences these relationship mess-ups with because I don't have it in me anymore to be heartbroken. I told her that I'm going to back off and give her the space she needs to figure things out for herself but I cannot promise that I will be sitting here waiting for her when she does figure it all out. Then she got really quiet on me and just kept crying but I just kept repeating myself, then I told her that I gotta go to bed cuz I got work and that was that. Now she hasn't stopped texting me all morning. Thanks again for everyone's opinion and support!
nicki Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Wow, that was perfect, and done so confidently. Bravo! Looks like she noticed, too, and now the chase is on again for her. How predictable.
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