Love Turn into Lust?

[VintageMusicbox]

Okay. Hey, hi, whats up.

 

About two months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of three and half years because I could not see thing continuing with him for much longer. I started to see the future alone more and more.

 

We were basically high school sweethearts. Relationship started when I was 14 [turning 15] and him 16 [turning 17]. The very beginning of the relationship was rocky. Around the second or third month, he told me loved me. We broke up around on the fifth month for a weekend because of miscommunication. Then it became better because everything was situated.

 

He graduated school during our second year together. During that summer, he became sick with a condition and I stuck by him. Because I did care and loved him. BUT throughout that second year, I had doubts [on and off]. I just wasnt sure about a few things.

 

Then from beginning of the third year, it became a little more rocky. I had this constant thought that I should break up with him and this was usually after every fight we had. I always thought it was hormones. You know, PMSing. So, I always threw the thought away. Was that my gut feeling telling me?

 

Another thing was how we were both each others' first. He was stressing out because his co-workers made fun of him that he and I didnt do anything yet. I told him that I wasnt ready and not to worry. Three months later, it happened. I waited three years for me to give up my virginity. After that, it was just all about that. There was once that we went with sex for a while and he asked when we were because its been two months. We barely saw each other because he lives about an hour away. We saw each other once or twice a week and all it was about was laying around, sleeping (because he worked a lot) and sex. It wasnt even romantic [you know, "love making], it was all speedy sex.

 

I was NOT happy. We fought every week about anything and I always expected the worst from him. I also felt like all he cared about was the sex because he finally got it. I felt a little used and I never believed him when he told me that that wasnt the case.

 

So, two months ago. I broke it off. The weird part is that while I broke up with him, He was very very quiet and I was the one crying. I told him that I wasnt happy and I needed to make sure that what I had for him was really love [because I doubted so much]. I didnt really want him to be unhappy because of my choice, so I told him that if we can make it work, I would stay. He told me he wouldnt because I would resent him if I didnt do what I wanted so I can be happy. That night we parted ways and weak as I was, I called him the next day. And after that, I get nothing from him. It made me feel like because I wasnt happy, I was being selfish. Like I was some bad guy. Is that wrong?

 

Even though he hasnt called, which I'm fine with because it makes it easier for both of us. But it confuses me. Like what was that relationship about? Did he really love me? I just feel used, the end of the relationship is all that I can remember. The fighting, boredom and the quick sex that we had.

 

So, what I want to know. Is it possible that love can just transform into lust? It wouldnt make sense because if it "transforms" into lust, then it was never love in the beginning. So, I was thinking maybe it was infatuation. But, if you were infatuated it wouldnt have lasted so long.

 

I'm just asking because I want to make things straight in my head. Not because I want to get back together and be like, "I made a mistake! Take me back" I know there is no going back.

[ThomasX]

Hell, you aren't crazy.

 

Love doesn't usually turn to lust though-- usually the other way around. I know I sure as hell got bored of both my ex's after a few months of doing stuff lol. It got to the point where I barely found them attractive. So if he persevered for 3 years without sex, I don't think it was ever about lust. If anyone was just interested in sex, he probably would've left you after a day.

 

It's noble of him though to see that you would resent him if he kept you around if you had doubts about wanting to be. That's pretty damn wise. Something I'd do.

 

I don't know if this is helping much... just thinking out loud.