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letter I want to send

Peter_pan

By Peter_pan
in Coping

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Peter_pan Established Member

Peter_pan

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yeah well the reason i dont think there attainable is because i havnt found anyone as good as my ex, and i dont believe i will. thats the problem. :(

 

one thing i was going to say that im really happy about which the break up did, was, i am close to my long time best mate and ive missed him more than i knew. i hated that i grew apart from him when i left and now we see each other everyday most days.

 

this is bold of me, but i am going to put £20 that she will stay with this guy and might even have a child with him. she told me when i was with her she wants a kid when she is 26. he is 5 years older than her, and if you do the math, she will be 26 when she is done with uni.

 

she already has the 3 bedroom house her dad bought her

 

i feel like a loser because i know i pushed her away. and i hate that she hated me enough to move on and get rid of me. that hurts

Eyeofthoth Established Member

Eyeofthoth

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I have to agree that it would be better to ignore her completely than to do any of the things you are thinkning of, including adding her family, sending this letter, etc.

 

I really feel for you though, because I am constantly composing letters to my ex in my head.

 

Last time I talked to him he told me he really missed me and sometimes he wanted to call me to talk to me as a friend, but he didn't want to lead me into believing that he wanted something deeper.

 

That has just made me so mad ever since. I want really badly to write him and ask him why he thinks that I would want something deeper when he treated me like crap and ripped my heart out.

 

But you know what, I'm not writing the letter. Because truth is I do still want him back, so I would just be blustering.

 

I feel that way about what you are saying too -- you want her to know how great you are doing, but you don't really feel that you are doing great --

 

The cure for that is getting your own life together and not talking to her at all, hard as that is.

 

And it is so hard, I am right there with you, I know. . .

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Peter_pan Established Member

Peter_pan

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I have to agree that it would be better to ignore her completely than to do any of the things you are thinkning of, including adding her family, sending this letter, etc.

 

I really feel for you though, because I am constantly composing letters to my ex in my head.

 

Last time I talked to him he told me he really missed me and sometimes he wanted to call me to talk to me as a friend, but he didn't want to lead me into believing that he wanted something deeper.

 

That has just made me so mad ever since. I want really badly to write him and ask him why he thinks that I would want something deeper when he treated me like crap and ripped my heart out.

 

But you know what, I'm not writing the letter. Because truth is I do still want him back, so I would just be blustering.

 

I feel that way about what you are saying too -- you want her to know how great you are doing, but you don't really feel that you are doing great --

 

The cure for that is getting your own life together and not talking to her at all, hard as that is.

 

And it is so hard, I am right there with you, I know. . .

 

thanks for that i appreciate it!

 

in the earlier stages i really really wanted to contact her and i did.. but since i stopped and promised i wouldn't, i have been happier.

 

i would like some way of her knowing my feelings and thoughts and that i would never have to speak to her again

 

i can live without talking to her, sometimes i do want to contact obviously but i know there is no point.

 

i am actually not happy nor sad that i dont talk to her. its been that long, that "this" feels normal. and it can continue that way.

 

but when i see she has spoken to my sister. that annoys me and i feel angry again.

 

i dont want her to have a better life than me. i dont want to know what she is doing. and i dont want her to know what i am doing or how i am doing.

 

and i hate the thought of her being with this guy for ages and him being better than me, or her family liking him like they used to like me.

EmperorR Established Member

EmperorR

Posted
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thanks for that i appreciate it!

 

in the earlier stages i really really wanted to contact her and i did.. but since i stopped and promised i wouldn't, i have been happier.

 

i would like some way of her knowing my feelings and thoughts and that i would never have to speak to her again

 

i can live without talking to her, sometimes i do want to contact obviously but i know there is no point.

 

i am actually not happy nor sad that i dont talk to her. its been that long, that "this" feels normal. and it can continue that way.

 

but when i see she has spoken to my sister. that annoys me and i feel angry again.

 

i dont want her to have a better life than me. i dont want to know what she is doing. and i dont want her to know what i am doing or how i am doing.

 

and i hate the thought of her being with this guy for ages and him being better than me, or her family liking him like they used to like me.

 

 

everyone hates that thought, how do you think I feel every day knowing my ex was screwing some other guy and emailing me from his laptop and phoning me saying i love you before screwing him again, i won't lie every day its hard for me, every day I hate myself for thinking of it, but every day its getting a little better.

Geishawhelk Established Member

Geishawhelk

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i dont want her to have a better life than me. i dont want to know what she is doing. and i dont want her to know what i am doing or how i am doing.

 

and i hate the thought of her being with this guy for ages and him being better than me, or her family liking him like they used to like me.

 

Ok, get this trhough your mind, because it's true.

The term 'better' doesn't come into it.

Take that word out, and change it:

 

i dont want her to have a different life than me. i dont want to know what she is doing. and i dont want her to know what i am doing or how i am doing.

and i hate the thought of her being with this guy for ages and him being different to me, or her family liking him in a different way to the way they used to like me

 

Nobody is better than you.

Nobody is worse than you.

Everyone is different.

She's found a different person, and nothing states that he is better than you are.

 

You'll find a different girl. She won't be better, she won't be worse.

The fact that she may be better FOR you than your last GF will be a matter of compatibility and communication.

 

Honestly.

Sysyphus28 Established Member

Sysyphus28

Posted
Posted
the way i look at it is its me vs her. i HAVE to have a better life than her otherwise she won, she got the better deal.

 

i dont have her or a better life... what am i? scum.

 

that is why i want to move away from it all. i think ill be happier. or even at a uni away from home so i dont have to keep them updated of how good i am with being a bum, getting fired, doing drugs.

 

great

 

6 months is a good amount of time. PLEASE don't send this letter. It is a horrible idea. It could be the best written letter in the world, it could be the dull the magna carta and the declaration of independence combined, it doens't matter anymore.

 

Say that "It doesn't matter anymore" "this person is no longer emotionally available for me" "I am a stranger to them"

 

Do you send strangers emotionally charged letters? NO.

 

My ex did me so dirty. I can only repeat the same story so many times.....but it was awful. She lives 15 min down the road and sometimes hangs out with mutual friends. She likes the same music and goes to shows around here. I am in the process of completely writing her out of my life. I don't want her raggity, lying, cheating, deceitful ways in my life. I don't want that kind of friend.

 

Dude, this girl did a number on you. It is not you vs. her. It is you vs. you.

 

You have to work through this want to send her a letter. I WANT TO AS WELL!!! I have so many digs to take at her, and hurtful/truthful things to say!! BUT, sending this letter is going to set you back MONTHS. It is also going to make you angrier when you don't get the reply you want.

 

You will not get validation from your "dumper", you will not get an apology. She will probably show her freinds the letter and they will have a good laugh at your expense.

 

So............she ended it. GOOD. If you know you are a catch, then her loss.

 

Let it be.

 

Realize your ok.

 

6 months is huge, your doing awesome..............don't let that original rage and anger and insecurity flood your life again.

 

Burn that letter with a picture of her. Curse at the fire. LEt it out.

 

DON'T GIVE HER ONE MORE OUNCE OF YOUR ENERGY!

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Peter_pan Established Member

Peter_pan

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thanks sys

 

cant help but feel she was the one, but we met to young...inexperienced..

 

i remember her telling me she spoke to her family an her gran said the above statement.

 

she basically handed me a second chance on a plate, i didnt turn it down, i didnt snap it up, cause i at the time didnt know what i wanted. after all this time if i had known the answer...

 

but then alot of people say, she would have gone off anyway. which is prob true, cuss she said i cud move in with her and if things didnt work out then i could always move out....

 

speaking to her does cross my mind an awful lot.

 

i know 6 months is good. but meh

JooLee Established Member

JooLee

Posted
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at amay, i dont really want to cry, i just feel a bit annoyed. i felt better today and then i find out messages have been flying backwards and forward between my own sister and her.

 

just want to sigh really loud, is how i feel.

 

@tv

 

its a competition because i want to show her i won, her gettin rid of me was not good and she should feel bad that we dont talk.

 

when i found out about him, i really wish i hadnt phoned her to try and get her back one more time. i shouldn't have elevated her guilt/ i called her a liar and she was angry, i didn't want to upset her cause i wanted her back so i said, no you didn't tell the truth so whatever. even wished her luck because some dumb thing in my mind told me they wouldnt work and she would want me back

 

i wished her luck and that was that. i held onto hope she would come back every night, dreamt of her for months. she haunted my dream and sometimes still does. i just want her to feel pain.

 

i know that sounds really immature and childish but maybe thats me.

 

i dont feel she deserves to leave me in the **** and to be happy with the guy she left me for. it just dosnt seem fair.

 

if they live happily ever after, i dont feel she deserves that.

 

oh dear what have i become.

 

my god.. have you been stealing my thoughts?

i was just thinking somewhere along these lines the other day. that its so unfair he's got someone new and im here bla bla bla.

 

but you know what i realised? and you should too!

 

that while we are here thinking they are happy, they might be thinking the same about us.

 

while we are here flirting about with whoever, they are sulking because they dont have the same freedom as us.

 

and while we are enjoying a movie by ourselves, they probably are miserable, fighting with their gf/bf right now.

 

and most of all... no more headaches about constantly worrying about the person.. but they r still caught in it. you see its a pattern, the same things that she was insecure about you, the same insecurities she will have with him.

 

ve are free to do vatever ve want vithout worrying about the other person!

 

and to be honest, i think we are better off because it saves us a lot more of heart aches then when we were together with them!

 

oh btw, im all for yr plan of going away. perharps a fresh start will do you good! and its good you realised that, just gotta stop pitying yrself and be like this bunny :bunny: lol :p

 

bounce n away!

EmperorR Established Member

EmperorR

Posted
Posted

All i want is my ex relationship with her new guy to fail and that's it, yeah I shouldn't hope for it but it's what I want. All I want is that and my ex calling me back wanting me back and me saying no. Yes I know I shouldn't think this but its what I want.

EmperorR Established Member

EmperorR

Posted
Posted
my god.. have you been stealing my thoughts?

i was just thinking somewhere along these lines the other day. that its so unfair he's got someone new and im here bla bla bla.

 

but you know what i realised? and you should too!

 

that while we are here thinking they are happy, they might be thinking the same about us.

 

while we are here flirting about with whoever, they are sulking because they dont have the same freedom as us.

 

and while we are enjoying a movie by ourselves, they probably are miserable, fighting with their gf/bf right now.

 

and most of all... no more headaches about constantly worrying about the person.. but they r still caught in it. you see its a pattern, the same things that she was insecure about you, the same insecurities she will have with him.

 

ve are free to do vatever ve want vithout worrying about the other person!

 

and to be honest, i think we are better off because it saves us a lot more of heart aches then when we were together with them!

 

oh btw, im all for yr plan of going away. perharps a fresh start will do you good! and its good you realised that, just gotta stop pitying yrself and be like this bunny :bunny: lol :p

 

bounce n away!

 

ah true this helps thanks for this post

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Peter_pan Established Member

Peter_pan

Posted
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Posted
my god.. have you been stealing my thoughts?

i was just thinking somewhere along these lines the other day. that its so unfair he's got someone new and im here bla bla bla.

 

but you know what i realised? and you should too!

 

that while we are here thinking they are happy, they might be thinking the same about us.

 

while we are here flirting about with whoever, they are sulking because they dont have the same freedom as us.

 

and while we are enjoying a movie by ourselves, they probably are miserable, fighting with their gf/bf right now.

 

and most of all... no more headaches about constantly worrying about the person.. but they r still caught in it. you see its a pattern, the same things that she was insecure about you, the same insecurities she will have with him.

 

ve are free to do vatever ve want vithout worrying about the other person!

 

and to be honest, i think we are better off because it saves us a lot more of heart aches then when we were together with them!

 

oh btw, im all for yr plan of going away. perharps a fresh start will do you good! and its good you realised that, just gotta stop pitying yrself and be like this bunny :bunny: lol :p

 

bounce n away!

 

All i want is my ex relationship with her new guy to fail and that's it, yeah I shouldn't hope for it but it's what I want. All I want is that and my ex calling me back wanting me back and me saying no. Yes I know I shouldn't think this but its what I want.

 

 

@emp

 

i wished that upon my ex to and it happened. i found out that they fell apart and i felt f ing great but then i hoped she would contact me and she didnt. and now i know there back together and it hurts like crazy. i knew she deleted her bebo and face book, prob because she didnt want to see him or something or for him to know about her, but then couple months back i hear they are together. :(

 

@JL i agree that we suffer less heart break and stress, although we do spend alot of time hung up on them...

 

i dont think that they are happy and she mite think i am. I just miss her and cant believe she is with him. i cant believe she threw away everything for this.

 

and now she is still with him, just eats me alive.

 

yeah i can do what ever i like, and thats a great thing, but i would never worrie about her anyway, because i trusted her so deeply.

 

ive decided to break NC if i hear she isnt with him again. i keep thinking to myself why didnt i last time? :( grrr

 

so pissed

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