lofi_tokyo Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Four and a half years ago this guy on one of my Ultimate Frisbee teams and I hooked up. I was 15, he was 18, it only got to second base, and I didn't kiss him either lol. We were pretty drunk ;p. Anyways, nothing really happened, I said it was a mistake, he wanted more, I tried giving him more, he moved on and it hurt me pretty badly. We had this weird thing - and still do - that he used to call "poker playing". Ever since that faithful hookup over four years ago, that attraction between us has never left, we've always flirted with each other but its been a game - we just like being teases with one another. ***Edit: I should add my big fear is IF we dated, the game would officially come to an end... no more teasing, right? Unless we kept being teases within the relationship? Hes a heart breaker, he prides himself on it. He's been shattered by a TON of girls in the past and I think eventually he built up a wall that just lets him shut down girls when he gets vulnerable. Ok! So my point is.... I'm considering finally going for him. I'm not looking for a serious relationship, at least not now, but the game between us is just so fun! I want to keep playing it and seeing how far it can go. Is that bad? Its really hard to explain but... this guy and I have a solid connection where we don't need to say words to know the other persons next move. Its a game because we watch how things play out and laugh at eachother for how crazy we are... and he may be a heartbreaker, but its part of our game I guess. Okay. I'm probably not making sense. Does it sound like I'm setting myself up for hurt? I don't know. Even if he rejects me it won't kill me because I know exactly what hes out for, and he knows exactly what I'm out for too. And... even if he put a stop to my advances, the game would KEEP going, because we just keep playing it, even if we try not to. Its super hard to explain, its just this weird weird WEIRD thing we have going thats fun because it feels sexy and dangerous. ;p So... either way the games gonna keep going, my question is: do I bite and push it further, or do I see him when I see him? Any input? I hope I made some sense here. ;p
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