Trosenburg Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 Here is the abbreviated story.. GF and I have been together almost 4 years with minimal issues. She took a job overseas and we have known she was going to leave for almost a year. She left at the end of the summer and we never really spoke about what was going to happen to us only that I would come visit and she would be coming home periodically. Everything was really well between us and even spoke of marriage a little bit. She left at the end of the summer and the first few weeks went well with alot of I miss you and I love you and even sent me dates for me to fly to see her. After a week or so I notice a little distance and lost my cool and asked if we were going to make it work and if there was someone else(dumb i know). Then in later conversation she told me she wasnt sure it would be good for me to come see her. She said she need time and space and wanted to feel indepent while she was there, but that she still loves me. And that a break is neccesary. Right after that i sent her an email letting her know how i feel about her and how i understand where she is coming from. After a few emails of me telling her I understand where she is coming from and that i am sorry for putting pressure on me, we talked on the phone again for the first time. It went well no fighting and she said that she wants to just let things happen I said she could date other people (even though its not what i want) but she replied she doesnt have the intention of dating other people. Since then there has been sporatic contact but no miss you or love you. Good conversations just like when we dated. So she is coming home soon and I am still very much in love with her. I know i cant continue to contact her all the time and have resisited and have kept away from emotional talk. I have always thought she is the one for me and am having a hard time not wanting to tell her that and moving on.
jolly718 Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 I feel for you man- what i dont get is why its stupid to ask if there is someone else? Ive done the same thing I hope it didnt make me look like an idiot.. Id just want to know the truth and it is thats the case i know i can let that chick go with ease
melissa123 Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 Wow I almost felt like I was reading my post there. My bf did the EXACT same thing. Moved away to another city. At first I had the 'i miss you, i love you' but then like your situation he became distance and stopped all the sweet talk. Eventually I lost it and called him to find out what was going on and he broke up with me. Im shattered like you. I love him and cant move on. He is the guy for me. I know I can contact him and tell him how much I love him etc and it is so dam hard. I would love to give you some great advice but I just dont know what to do myself. I would give up anything to have him back here with me. I guess all we can do is give it time and hope like hell they come to realise what they have let go.
Author Trosenburg Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 ok so here is a little more detail so maybe i can get some feedback... There was NC for about two weeks when she send me an email asking me how i was doing and if i had a chance to call her. So i emailed her back said things where well and that i would call the next day. She called i missed it and then called her back later that day. The convo was really good like nothing was wrong and there was joking and laughing. Another 6 days NC and i sent a light email just asking how her weekend went. No immediate response from her.. So she is due to come home for the holidays only to leave again. Do i just not contact her until she comes home or do I respond to contact from her if she reaches out? Or do i tell her right now i am not ready to have just friendly convos because it hurts still and I will see her over the holiday? Advice?
northstar1 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 ok so here is a little more detail so maybe i can get some feedback... There was NC for about two weeks when she send me an email asking me how i was doing and if i had a chance to call her. So i emailed her back said things where well and that i would call the next day. She called i missed it and then called her back later that day. The convo was really good like nothing was wrong and there was joking and laughing. Another 6 days NC and i sent a light email just asking how her weekend went. No immediate response from her.. So she is due to come home for the holidays only to leave again. Do i just not contact her until she comes home or do I respond to contact from her if she reaches out? Or do i tell her right now i am not ready to have just friendly convos because it hurts still and I will see her over the holiday? Advice? How long is she going to be away for? No doubt she's immersed herself in her new life and is probably really busy. I would send her a short email, telling her you'd like to still meet up when she is back and tell her to get in touch when she's back. Leave it simple. When she is back, talk to her and see how things go.
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