so gutted Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 A guy I saw for a month or so (about 4 months ago) called me out of the blue. He wants to start again, even though I vanished on him twice. He wasnt as bad as the others I have mentioned on here. He was nice enough, but he didnt respect my boundaries. He wanted to stay on the phone until late - even though ihad work and he didnt. Talking to him yesterday reminded me of how much this used to piss me off. He said that he doesnt want to mess around anymore, he wants a relationship and he wants something serious. Despite me vanishing he still can forgive and teach me about relationships. So we arranged to meet. I felt uneasy all day and cancelled - telling him i do not want to meet if there is a chance I may vanish again - which there is. He is now hurt. Thing is - i think i did the right thing...i dont think me and him can work third time around and i think i am so set in my ways i cannot adapt. Also - he keeps mentioning (and did so the last time around) that he wants to come over etc (i have been to his place). Last time he even mentioned about getting a set of keys...I really do not want this. For him its part and parcel of a relationship - getting to know each other and staying over etc which means trust and keys...for me its not the same... For once I have avoided the mess.....i think...
Kukulkan Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 A guy I saw for a month or so (about 4 months ago) called me out of the blue. He wants to start again, even though I vanished on him twice. He wasnt as bad as the others I have mentioned on here. He was nice enough, but he didnt respect my boundaries. He wanted to stay on the phone until late - even though ihad work and he didnt. Talking to him yesterday reminded me of how much this used to piss me off. He said that he doesnt want to mess around anymore, he wants a relationship and he wants something serious. Despite me vanishing he still can forgive and teach me about relationships. So we arranged to meet. I felt uneasy all day and cancelled - telling him i do not want to meet if there is a chance I may vanish again - which there is. He is now hurt. Thing is - i think i did the right thing...i dont think me and him can work third time around and i think i am so set in my ways i cannot adapt. Also - he keeps mentioning (and did so the last time around) that he wants to come over etc (i have been to his place). Last time he even mentioned about getting a set of keys...I really do not want this. For him its part and parcel of a relationship - getting to know each other and staying over etc which means trust and keys...for me its not the same... For once I have avoided the mess.....i think... I'm no expert, but it sounds to me like you did the right thing (except perhaps the agreeing to go out with him again & then calling it off). If you're not into him, you should make it clear and move on. This dude is already asking to exchange keys and you only dated for a month - several months ago? Sounds a bit clingy.
Author so gutted Posted November 12, 2008 Author Posted November 12, 2008 he is marginally better then the others - but i have made progress - i didnt slip back into my old ways..........
edinsvet Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 Yes, I also think you did the right thing.
Angel1111 Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 Yeah, I think you dodged a bullet. He sounds desperate and clueless. Who on earth expects a key to another person's home after such a short period of time? And if he doesn't respect your boundaries now with small things, he won't respect them in a lot of other ways in the future. You did the right thing. I'm proud of you.
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