Eyeofthoth Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 I just realized this is probably what is complicating my recovery. I have had problems with it before in other contexts, so I don't know why it didn't occur to me before. Six months is too long to be obsessing over what went wrong and constantly wondering when he is going to wake up and come back . . . http://westsuffolkpsych.homestead.com/obsessivelove.html Can anyone else relate to this?
northstar1 Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 I just realized this is probably what is complicating my recovery. I have had problems with it before in other contexts, so I don't know why it didn't occur to me before. Six months is too long to be obsessing over what went wrong and constantly wondering when he is going to wake up and come back . . . http://westsuffolkpsych.homestead.com/obsessivelove.html Can anyone else relate to this? Some may label those behaviours OCD, but I label them being heartbroken. 6 months is not a long time to grieve a relationship at all.
Author Eyeofthoth Posted November 12, 2008 Author Posted November 12, 2008 Yes ns1, maybe you are right. I'm not sure . . . just curious what other people think.
sacg Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 How olong was you together? As Ns says, 6 months is nothing, im still obsessing and hoping, but its slowly becoming real. Im 5 months in, and its not a lot easier. I would assume tho, knowing OCD sufferers, that this could complicate or hinder the process of healing without a doubt.
Peter_pan Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 erm yeh if you have that sort of ocd of course it will be harder! what other context did you have it in? i to suffered to ocd and i do look at it as a thing that didnt display who i truly was. which is annoying because i when we split i recovered quickly because i simply didnt care about anything, and i wanted to show her that i was better so much. so it made it harder that she didnt want to be with me again
Author Eyeofthoth Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 Well, we were together 20 months, which is a good long time, but it isn't years. So is 6 months excessive or not? I am nowhere near over him. I have had several other long term relationships, including a marriage, and nothing has ever hit me like this . . . . I think I just really loved him more than I loved most of the others, but on the other hand . . . I did once have an unrequited love situation where I knew being together with this particular person was completely impossible, and that one took years for me to get out of my head, just constantly thinking about this person who I knew I could never be with . . . makes me wonder if I am just going off the deep end with this boyfriend. My other experiences with OCD were mainly 1) fear of disease, i.e., fear that I had a particular disease (more than one actually) and constant reading and studying about the disease to satisfy myself that I didn't have it; and 2) problems with food -- fears that a lot of my food had been contaminated, so that I would make dinner and then throw it all in the trash instead of eating it -- wierd stuff like that.
Peter_pan Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Well, we were together 20 months, which is a good long time, but it isn't years. So is 6 months excessive or not? I am nowhere near over him. I have had several other long term relationships, including a marriage, and nothing has ever hit me like this . . . . I think I just really loved him more than I loved most of the others, but on the other hand . . . I did once have an unrequited love situation where I knew being together with this particular person was completely impossible, and that one took years for me to get out of my head, just constantly thinking about this person who I knew I could never be with . . . makes me wonder if I am just going off the deep end with this boyfriend. My other experiences with OCD were mainly 1) fear of disease, i.e., fear that I had a particular disease (more than one actually) and constant reading and studying about the disease to satisfy myself that I didn't have it; and 2) problems with food -- fears that a lot of my food had been contaminated, so that I would make dinner and then throw it all in the trash instead of eating it -- wierd stuff like that. erm well thats nearly 2 years so no i would say thats normal. abnormal i would class as 2 years or longer getting over them fully. i had the same ocd fears about the disease one but my contamination one was that i could catch the disease from anything even though i knew i couldnt... as soon as we broke up, it stopped like a light switch. i have no idea why. i think its because i stopped caring. maybe at this point in time you believe you love him more than you actually do. we all hate rejection and being alone. once you get used to being single and happy again thats when you can properly analyze the situation you cant drink from an empty glass
Author Eyeofthoth Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 "i had the same ocd fears about the disease one but my contamination one was that i could catch the disease from anything even though i knew i couldnt..." Oh yeah, same with me. I thought I could get rabies from a dog just licking me or maybe even just being near me . . I mean I really knew that was impossible but I would just constantly think about it anyway . . . So bizarre. Anyway I think I do need to get happy being alone. I think that is the hardest thing. Because I loved him so much I know he will not be easy to replace. I just have to accept that the odds of experiencing that kind of relationship again in the near future (or possibly even ever) are slim. I need to be okay with being single, and I have never really liked being single.
xtopher65 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 I suffer from OCD. The book "Brain Lock" by Robert M. Schwartz helped me out a lot.
Author Eyeofthoth Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 That is a great book. I used it also.
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