Casanova83 Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 Hi. I met a girl a couple of weeks ago through a mutual friend. We talked for ages that night and she seemed really into me, which was cool cos I liked her too. I got her number and called her 5 days later. I asked her out for 2 days after that and she said yes and we went out. We had a GREAT first date (probably the first time I've ever been able to say that ). We really connected and I think she even liked me more than I did her, if that's possible cos I'm really into this girl. We kissed a couple of times (nothing heavy). We just clicked though, I told her things about me that people who have known me for years don't know. And this was 2-way, trust me on that. Anyways, at the end of the date she said she'd had a really good time and we said we should do it again. We kissed good-night (again nothing heavy). I called her 2 days later. We talked a bit and I told her I had a really good time the other night. She said the same, and I said I'd call her in a couple of days to arrange to go out again. So, 2 days later I called her (once) but got no reply (no voicemail either just rang out). Now I know she had a lot of work to do for that day (I was trying to speak to her after I guessed she'd be done, how did your work go, did you get it finished on time etc.), so I'm not concerned that she didn't pick up. That was yesterday. My plan was to ask her out for tomorrow. My question is, do i phone back or do I wait for her to return my call? If I call back when is the best time, so not to look either desperate, or disinterested? 24 hours (tonight), 48, 72? She's a really sweet girl and I don't want to mess this up. BTW, realize the short essay probably wasn't necessary for such a simple question, just wanted to give some background. Thanks in advance for any advice .
nicki Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 Yes, call again today, especially if you want to ask her out. She will need some notice for that, and it's respectful on your part. She doesn't know you called because you didn't get to leave a voicemail. So the last thing she heard was that you would call her, so call again. If she doesn't answer, leave a voicemail asking her out for tomorrow. Ask her to call you to confirm and to talk about what time to pick her up. She's been giving you the green light all along, so I wouldn't worry a bit. But, if you don't call, she might worry and wonder why you said you'd call and you didn't. Best to communicate as if all is well.
Author Casanova83 Posted November 12, 2008 Author Posted November 12, 2008 Hi nicki, thanks for the quick reply . I agree with what you said, just needed some reassurance. Only thing is her phone didn't seem to have voicemail enabled it was just ringing and ringing so eventually (about 10 rings) I felt I should hang up. Also it was her mobile phone (cell phone, you are American right ) so there should be a record of my call to her. Given these facts, you don't think I should wait at all to see if she phones? You think it's still OK to ask her out for tomorrow (only a day notice), or you think I should go for Friday? Thanks again.
nicki Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 Well, Friday is a premium weekend night, and a lot more fun to go out on (no work the next day!) My cell doesn't always show calls when I'm calling someone else at the same time a call is coming in. It simply rings and rings to the caller, and I get no missed call record later. Maybe that happened to you? My voice mail always kicks in otherwise, even if my phone is off. But if it's off, then no missed call record if a message hasn't been left. So, yes, call again.
nicki Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 Oh, wait, how about texting her if you think her voice mail isn't activated? Or does she have a work number you can call? If all else fails, smoke signals might catch her attention Or wait for her to call, and then tell her your troubles in trying to reach her. But I'd still try to call a few more times.
Author Casanova83 Posted November 12, 2008 Author Posted November 12, 2008 Thanks, I will . Fingers crossed!
Author Casanova83 Posted November 12, 2008 Author Posted November 12, 2008 You mean texting if she doesn't pick up again this time? Sure, I can do that. I don't have her work no. but if smoke signals is what it takes, then smoke signals is what it takes. Just hope she has her smoke-mail activated if she's not there (wow, that was a bad joke, hope I don't tell her that one!) Thanks, I'll let you know how it goes.
edinsvet Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 Women, especially ones under 25 do that to guys all of the time. Especially if they are hot. Really hot girls never ever called me back in the beginning. I think they have a lot of guys calling and they also have responsibilities and a life, so It is the man's job to initiate these things. Just don't call 4x in one day if she is not responding or anything like that. And whatever you do. DO NOT COMPLAIN or sound frustrated that she didn't call back when you have her on the phone. Just say that it is nice to hear her voice, and then ask her what you wanted to ask her.
Author Casanova83 Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 OK, what the hell just happened? I started to write this message several hours ago, but then I heard from her and had to stop it. I called her, no reply, so I left a text message very casual, just saying I hope everything's good with her and she should call back when she had a chance. 45 mins later (as I was starting this message) she calls and we talk for about 20 secs about her work, which is where she has just come from and why she didn't pick up my call initially, when she tells me that she thought she was speaking to another guy of the same name who she works with and that she was going to call me later. I tell her of the mistake she has made and suggests she call that guy and we'll speak some other time. She says no and we start talking. She then asks me out for Friday, and I suggest Thursday instead (had plans for Friday that could have been cancelled but Thursday better for me). She agrees. 10 mins later she calls back and suggests tonight instead in like an hours time, as she is working close by to where I live. Any other girl I would have refused and come up with some excuse (not trying to play games or anything, but that's a little short notice!), but as I really like this girl I said OK. We met up for a drink and then went for a meal. I actually had a really great time and my instincts tells me she did too (I'm not just saying this cos I want it to be that way, she really did). But what the hell was that whole behaviour about. That's not normal. I'm not saying I'm an expert on dating, but I know enough to know that this is strange behaviour. I know she does work with someone of the same name but I know when she took my mobile no. she took down the shortened version of my name, not the full version which she only took for my house phone (the other guy has the same name as my full name). Yet when I saw her she tried to make out that that was where the confusion arose, ie. she looked up my name and thought it was the other guy. It doesn't make sense. I played it cool saying mistakes like that can happen etc. But actually, I wasn't happy about it at all. Also, it's not like we're teenagers playing games, we are both mid-twenties (she is actually a year older than me). I feel too old for these, what I would call, 'childish games'. What also puzzles me is that in every other way she is a mature woman not a school-kid. I suppose it is theoretically possible that things happened exactly the way she says it did, but I don't think so. A little help please cos I am baffled right now. edinsvet I get what you're saying, it's just my pride usually stops me from pursuing a girl who shows no initiative herself. Not a great quality on my part I know, but that's just who I am. 4 times in one day is impossible for me. But yeah, when they mean a lot to me, like she does, I will put my dignity on the line, to an extent.
4dviceJunki3 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Oh I've been in your situation before and it's tempting to call again. What I did was call and she didn't pick up, and I didn't leave her a voicemail. So what I did was pulled a sleak one and just texted her saying Hey I just called to tell you that I won't be able to make it for this Friday because something came up but how does Saturday sound? And it worked, she called me back later that night and we planned things for Saturday even though I sat my butt home on Friday and did absolutely NOTHING.
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