Touche Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 The problem with many people is that in my experience, most pretend to care when in reality they don't. They're completely out for themselves. I can count on one hand the people I've come across in my life who have really "walked the walk." Sad, I know. And I really don't think where you live matters in the end. You find all kinds everywhere. The trick is to not get into too negative a mindset. (I need to work on that one sometimes I guess.) One can leave themselves open to letting new people into one's life without being blind or stupid about it. It just seems easier to me to not even get too close to people outside of my immediate family. But your situation, NS may be different and you may need to be a little less guarded and cynical in order to be happy.
Taramere Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 Isn't that the sad crux of it though - we have to get into the way of it! It's sort of like caveman times when you actually had a use for that aggression but now in modern and supposedly civil society, it all comes spilling out! I think I get very frustrated and angry but i've never felt comfortable taking it out on others too extremely - I put it more inwardly which is just as bad. Oh go on. Grow your fingernails, file them into sharp points and have at it with those bully-boys on the tube. Joking apart, like any big city it can be tough. What's your living set-up? Do you house-share? Have you a set of friends in London, or are you still finding your feet in that respect? Never forget how many fantastic and fun things are going on there. Here's a tip. On Sunday (second time I've mentioned Sunday on this thread) take a trip along to Hyde Park and join the throng at Speaker's Corner. If you don't know where it is, ask anyone and they'll point you in the right direction. Seriously, Speaker's Corner (if you haven't seen it before) is like a real life version of one of Loveshack's more drama-filled threads. You are absolutely guaranteed to get talking and laughing with the people around you who are listening to/arguing with the soap box speakers. I'm really getting the impression that the move to London is a relatively recent one for you. If it's any consolation, a lot of people I know who've spent time in London found the first few months really tricky, then started to build up a circle of friends.
marlena Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 I'd love to live in London. It's such an exciting city full of interesting people to meet and fun things to do. It has a special vibrancy unlike any other European capital. Enjoy the city and all it has to offer and like Taramere said slowly try to build up a circle of friends. Pursue your interests and try to be positive. Think of your aloneness as an opportunity to explore yourself and all your potential. Perhaps, buying a dog might help. You can take it for walks and go to the Speaker's Corner like Taramere suggested. As for the rude,arrogant,cruel,heartless,ignorant, keep them at a distance. For every one of them, there is another kind,caring,compassionate,understanding human being. You just have to find the nice ones. It takes time but there are a few still left.
kizik Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 OP, think of it this way. The indifference you suffer makes those gems of humanity who "get it" the way you do all that more special. Focus your energy on valuing the positive rather than lamenting the negative. I've found a simple philosophy to work well. Humans are merely one insignificant part of the cosmos, myself included, and I decide who emerges from that insignificance for me. All else remains insignificant. Think of it like how you scan the posts/threads on LS and decide which are significant for you, like I found this one and responded. My silence would have been irrelevant to you, right? IMO, that's healthy. BTW, I've never lived in the UK but have visited there a number of times and found the people to have the same diversity of being that those here in the U.S. do. Lots of variety Excellent, touching post as usual, carhill. Thanks for this.
carhill Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Trust me, I have days like in the OP. Just ask my wife Sometimes karmic (and cosmic) energy overwhelms me. IMO, this is where an understanding of one's own psychology can really be helpful. I usually can think my way out of that negative emotional box. The tools I learned in MC helped immensely. So did learning to deal with mental illness while caring for my mom. It's just life experience. You know what you know when you know it
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