Approach Anxiety

[thedistrict]

Hello all again:)

 

Theres this girl at school who I see a couple times a week just walking around in the halls that I'm kind of interested in. She seems to be one of those shy not too popular types as i've tried making eye contact and she kinda looks away (sounds like she's turned off but you'd understand if you knew what I was saying)

 

Anyways, it seems that on every wednesday I happen to always be on the same train to school with her. My one problem: I have no idea what to say at all. This morning I pussed out hardcore and didn't even manage to make eye contact or smile even though she was sitting accross from me.

 

I dont want to sound like a nerd saying "hi my name is" cause really I cant imagine myself saying that.

 

Help!

[nicki]

Oh, you are BOTH shy. Someone's got to do the approaching or nothing will happen. How about making it you?

 

It sounds like she has noticed you at school. That's a positive sign. She probably wants you to say something to her.

 

The train would be a perfect place to do that. Simply smile and say "Hi." Make a comment about your surroundings - like "It's crowded in here today."

 

Or comment on one of her school books that she is carrying. "Oh, you are taking Spanish this year? Me too. What do you think about Senora Murphy?"

 

Or see what she's watching/listening to on her IPod.

 

Anything, just get talking. Or ask her for help with something or some homework. "I'm having trouble with English. Are you reading Shakespeare yet?"

 

Or, even, "Did you go to the football game on Friday? Who won?"

 

Believe me, we women want you guys to approach.

 

I'm sure she's interested, but if for some reason she's not, then you can always pass off your exchange as simply being friendly. That's how you practice anyway -- just being friendly with people. You lose no face being friendly to someone.

 

You can do it! Just smile and say "Hi." It's a good start. She's nervous, too, and feels like you do.

[nicki]

And dont' be surprised if she doesn't talk much. If she's shy, she will take a while to warm up. You can simply sit next to her and study your school book if the conversation lags.

 

But, when you get up to leave the train, be sure to look at her, smile and say something like "Nice talking to you. I'm Matt. See you at school."

 

Then, when you see her at school, smile and say "Hi."

 

Then talk to her some more on the train next week. Get her name.

 

It's a process.

[thedistrict]

Hey thanks for the advice

 

I've been planning to say Hi or something, I just don't know how to elaborate after that.

 

And she's in none of my classes, we're taking totally different courses (college)

 

It think she's in fashion.

 

What have I got myself into