Shaney Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 A text msg from my bf during a fight last night: "I've had plenty of chances to cheat on you, even last week. I didn't do it because i'm an idiot and believe in loyalty." First impression?
PandorasBox Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 Well not sure what the fight was about, but my guess is something to do with cheating. However, it was probably best he didn't even say anything, and what he did say was probably due to the heat of the moment. I think he was just trying to say he has had opportunities to cheat but turned them down because he believes in loyality to one person. Which is a good thing.
imagine Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 A text msg from my bf during a fight last night: "I've had plenty of chances to cheat on you, even last week. I didn't do it because i'm an idiot and believe in loyalty." First impression? Text back: I love wonderful, loyal idiots. Smooooooch!
nicki Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 My first impression? That he might think YOU have cheated on HIM. I would ask him what's up with that comment.
norajane Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 Sounds like you were accusing or suspecting him of cheating, and he was telling you he has had opportunities but didn't take them AND that he's questioning the wisdom of staying loyal to you if you're just going to accuse him of cheating anyway. Or perhaps that he suspects you might be cheating and he's a fool for being loyal to you if you don't behave in a loyal fashion yourself.
Morgenstern Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 sounds like something id say, so u can take my take on it however you wish. He is being sarcasitc and trying to show you that he isnt going to hurt you. Yes in a mean way, but none the less this shouldnt alarm you. There are chances everyday for anyone to cheat but he doesnt. Neither do I!
Author Shaney Posted November 12, 2008 Author Posted November 12, 2008 the fight had nothing to do with me accusing him of anything. it started because HE was on the internet looking at porn and came across a pic of a girl who was bent over a chair with a thong on and he actually believes it's me. he sent the pic to my office and the msg said "when was this taken and who's house is this?!" i thought he was joking at first but then he sent me a barrage of nasty text msgs, accusing me of cheating on him. the pic is NOT me. she's built very much like me and our hair is about the same length but hers is highlighted differently. the strangest coincidence is that she has a little mole on the inside of her thigh just like me, although mine is higher. in a way, it's kinda cool... like i have a long lost sister or cousin out there... but the damn pic is not me and nothing i said last night convinced him otherwise. it's the most absurd thing i've ever dealt with. he's shown signs of being possessive and jealous in the past but not anything like this. since someone asked - no, i've never cheated on him. i don't know when he thinks i've had time to cheat on him. i love him but he sometimes makes me feel completety smothered. so he made that comment all of a sudden that he's had all of these opportunities to cheat on me. news to me. we're not speaking much today. he's still pissed but he calmed down a little. it's his own fault IMO.
Dexter Morgan Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 A text msg from my bf during a fight last night: "I've had plenty of chances to cheat on you, even last week. I didn't do it because i'm an idiot and believe in loyalty." First impression? For him to have chances to cheat means he is putting himself in positions where the chances occur. And for him to throw something like that in your face means he has thought about it.
norajane Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 OMG. Well, he is the idiot, then. I'd think twice about continuing this relationship with him. I suspect this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to his jealousy issues.
Author Shaney Posted November 12, 2008 Author Posted November 12, 2008 For him to have chances to cheat means he is putting himself in positions where the chances occur. And for him to throw something like that in your face means he has thought about it. THAT was MY first impression. that's why i asked the question. i was wondering if anyone else thought the same. especially since he came at me out of left field with this bs.
Dexter Morgan Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 THAT was MY first impression. that's why i asked the question. i was wondering if anyone else thought the same. especially since he came at me out of left field with this bs. Even if he wasn't thinking of cheating, he still puts himself in inappropriate situations if he is getting the chances. And for him to throw that in your face is downright lousy.
Author Shaney Posted November 12, 2008 Author Posted November 12, 2008 Even if he wasn't thinking of cheating, he still puts himself in inappropriate situations if he is getting the chances. And for him to throw that in your face is downright lousy. isn't there a saying about the ACCUSER usually being the actual offender??
Dexter Morgan Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 isn't there a saying about the ACCUSER usually being the actual offender?? Yes, my xW accused me of cheating all the while she was(all while I'm sitting at home watching our children while she did it, what a moron). Basically looking for an excuse that way if I ever found out she could diminish her guilt.
Author Shaney Posted November 12, 2008 Author Posted November 12, 2008 Yes, my xW accused me of cheating all the while she was(all while I'm sitting at home watching our children while she did it, what a moron). Basically looking for an excuse that way if I ever found out she could diminish her guilt. OUCH. Sorry Dex.
AAlike Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 the fight had nothing to do with me accusing him of anything. it started because HE was on the internet looking at porn and came across a pic of a girl who was bent over a chair with a thong on and he actually believes it's me. he sent the pic to my office and the msg said "when was this taken and who's house is this?!" i thought he was joking at first but then he sent me a barrage of nasty text msgs, accusing me of cheating on him. the pic is NOT me. she's built very much like me and our hair is about the same length but hers is highlighted differently. the strangest coincidence is that she has a little mole on the inside of her thigh just like me, although mine is higher. in a way, it's kinda cool... like i have a long lost sister or cousin out there... but the damn pic is not me and nothing i said last night convinced him otherwise. it's the most absurd thing i've ever dealt with. he's shown signs of being possessive and jealous in the past but not anything like this. since someone asked - no, i've never cheated on him. i don't know when he thinks i've had time to cheat on him. i love him but he sometimes makes me feel completety smothered. so he made that comment all of a sudden that he's had all of these opportunities to cheat on me. news to me. we're not speaking much today. he's still pissed but he calmed down a little. it's his own fault IMO. LOL I like that you asked for "first impressions" while casually leaving this small tidbit out! I wouldn't necessarily worry about the content of the heated comments as much as I would worry that he so easily believed that he came across your pic on a porn site! and it completely boggles my mind that people have conversations like these via TEXT MESSAGING. I mean, are we THAT impersonal these days?
Author Shaney Posted November 12, 2008 Author Posted November 12, 2008 LOL I like that you asked for "first impressions" while casually leaving this small tidbit out! I wouldn't necessarily worry about the content of the heated comments as much as I would worry that he so easily believed that he came across your pic on a porn site! and it completely boggles my mind that people have conversations like these via TEXT MESSAGING. I mean, are we THAT impersonal these days? LOL - i guess it does help to have some background info! i'm always saying the same thing to him about text messaging. if there's something serious or important to discuss, face-to-face is the way to go, IMO. too much room for misunderstanding the tone and meaning of a text msg. the pic isn't really the issue for me because i know it's not me. eventually, he'll realize it and get over it. i'm more pissed because he was so quick to get mad and be so accusatory, then started making comments about all the chances he's had to cheat that i knew nothing about before.
Dexter Morgan Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 OUCH. Sorry Dex. Don't be. I'm not. her cheating on me was the best thing to ever happen after the fact. A blessing in disguise. She is someone elses problem now.
Author Shaney Posted November 12, 2008 Author Posted November 12, 2008 OMG. Well, he is the idiot, then. I'd think twice about continuing this relationship with him. I suspect this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to his jealousy issues. i will never understand jealousy of this magnitude. it's also suspect, IMO. i'm beginning to think that he doesn't (or can't) trust himself. in the beginning of our relationship, he used to love to tease me about other girls that wanted him and i finally got fed up and told him to make a choice - drop it or drop me. obviously, he stopped and we were doing really well for a while but now this...
blair08 Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 isn't there a saying about the ACCUSER usually being the actual offender?? Yes, I believe that has truth to it. However, thats not always the case. Sometimes it can come from just a very insecure person. Which would make me question why I was with someone with such insecurities.
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