M2k Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 i strongly advise people to read my other posts first! if not here is a brief outline/summary of my last 10 months! .. for details check previous posts january 12 - long time GF/ best friend / fiance - breaks up with me jan 12 - feb sometime ... absoloutely destroy myself, self pitty, loathing .. feeling like i was dying everyday, sleepness nights, vommiting cold sweats etc! .. sometime after that not really sure.. started meeting up.. flirting .. sleeping together. june 1st.. get back together .. everything great .. like it used to be... august - problems start.. no sex .. lies (i now know on her part) saying asll the reasons under the sun... TRY so very hard to fix everything.. trust me tried everything! nov 2 , She breaks up with me again saying "how it doesnt feel right and how she would marry me as a bestfriend just to keep me but that isnt fair on either of us as it doesnt feel right anymore and she isnt in love with me in that way" nov 3 - 6 .. feeling alright.. kinda numb inside and a bit lost .. but not pain and heartache! nov 7 - go out .. girl who has liked me for long time randomly kisses me .. not sure what to make of it but to hell with it i was pretty smashed nov 7 till today - kind of feel guilty .. not so much that i betrayed my ex .. only for the other girl who quite obviously really likes me as she is making that pretty obvious! .. and only really because i cannot/ will not offer a good boyfriend to anyone right now! need some time to myself to re-learn who i am and what im about!.. i also am feeling slightly bad that if my ex finds out it will really hurt her.. and that is the last thing i want to do because she doesnt deserve it. TODAY. cut off all ties to ex. removed from facebook friends etc! .. before had i did send her a message which read "if you choose to reply fine if not then fine also. i am not plannin on chasing you again i wasted 6 months of my life doing that already.. and yes (name) it was a waste.. i have done everything humanly possible to make you happy, but it was never enough .. as i now know i was never good enough for you in your eyes! and dont even bother saying i was as i dont want to hear it.unfortunately i will never find someone who lives up to how we used to be i know that! because your my best friend of course it still hurts but frankly not as much as it should .. you treated me like **** and i forgive you for that i cant imagine how hard it was for you everyday. only 3 things i ask of you, firstly i would really appreciate it if you gave me back all my dvds as i know they are no interest to you. number 2 is really up to you.. i may well be being made redundant in the next 2 weeks.. well either me or greg is going for sure.. im trying to sort a new job but not sure i will in 2 weeks.. the money we had in our savings .. i know you said i didnt put much in them but i really did (name).. so if you see it fair to give me something back then that would be appreciated.. if not i can underestand as i know all the problems you and your family have at the mo. number three (and this is the most important one)be happy with everything you do.. its all i ever wanted and i am so very sorry i will not be able to spend the rest of my life with you sharing all your achievements and holding your hand through anything life throws at you.. you know i would have stood by you no matter how hard things got.. there will be others but never another you, you where my flower and i wish you the best of luck in life and will truely miss you and everything we had." i now feel a lot lighter and ready to get on with my life. moral of the story is.. me and my ex by all rights should have spent the rest of out lives together.. but we broke up and .. things change when you break up.. even if you get back together .. short breaks long breaks .. it doesnt matter.. it RARELY works for long.. so if you are heartbroken .. ride out the pain and things get better
Inf4life Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 Great post. Sounds like something that I need to do. It sounds like my situation almost to a T.
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