Is there anything wrong with travelling overseas without your partner?

[CaliMan2]

Our situation: I'm 23, she's 22, been married for 18 months.

 

I'm soon to graduate and I have the urge to travel overseas for 2-3 months for a holiday. I don't really want to travel with my partner as I don't want to have to look after her, just let loose and enjoy myself. I'm looking at travelling by myself.

 

Is this bad? What are your opinons?

[beautifulearth83]

I don't have any experience with marriage, but if you'd like to have your marriage headed in the right direction(being that it's only been 18 months), I would trying being open and communicating this to her. Isn't that what you're supposed to be able to do? Nobody here can tell you what is the right decision.

[lovelorcet]

If this is your state of mind then you got married too early.

 

Put some thought into that first, the travel issue is just a symptom...

[quankanne]

if you were married a good while longer, AND both of y'all agreed to separate vacations from the get-go, then no ... proposing a two-three month vacation wouldn't be too bad, if you were both in agreement and the relationship was strongly based in trust.

 

however, what you propose – and for the reasons you propose ("I don't really want to travel with my partner as I don't want to have to look after her, just let loose and enjoy myself")– is purely selfish and not a very smart move as a newly married man!

[officegirl]

I know exactly how you feel. Which is why I have said out loud to my boyfriend on more than one occasion that I have a strong desire to travel alone oversees at least once. He doesn't necessarily like the idea but at least he knows that it is something I've wanted to do since way before he came into the picture.

 

Did you mention this to her before you got married or is this all new to her?

[Adamagnet]

If you can't enjoy yourself with your partner, might as well start the paperwork.

[Touche]

If you can't enjoy yourself with your partner, might as well start the paperwork.

 

I would have to agree with this.

 

Personally I can't imagine preferring to take a vacation without my husband. I'd miss sharing everything with him.

 

It's not a good sign that you want to do that without her. Also the reasons you give do speak to some deeper issues. Why would you have to "look after" her? Why can't you kick back and let loose WITH her?

 

I would also tend to agree with the person who said you married too young.

 

And why did you marry someone who you don't think you can enjoy yourself with? Do you think you can spend the rest of your life with someone like that?

 

I'm not quick EVER to suggest divorce but I'd cut my losses now and don't be in such a rush to marry next time. Find someone that you can have fun with.

 

The day I'd rather vacation alone rather than be with my husband is the day I'll re-think my marriage.

[norajane]

Why would you have to 'take care' of her, and why can't you just let loose and enjoy yourself with her?

 

At 18 months, you should still be in the honeymoon phase at your age. That you want to take such a long, and significant trip, without her says a LOT about your marriage. No way this is going to last a lifetime.

[quankanne]

The day I'd rather vacation alone rather than be with my husband is the day I'll re-think my marriage.

 

I'll be honest – sometimes I do prefer to go someplace alone, without my husband, because I know he'd be bored stiff hanging out with my girlfriends. And it's cool with him, because early in the marriage we agreed that there will be times when one or the other isn't interested in coming along, and that person shouldn't be forced into going.

[Dexter Morgan]

Our situation: I'm 23, she's 22, been married for 18 months.

 

I'm soon to graduate and I have the urge to travel overseas for 2-3 months for a holiday. I don't really want to travel with my partner as I don't want to have to look after her, just let loose and enjoy myself. I'm looking at travelling by myself.

 

Is this bad? What are your opinons?

 

Its obvious that if you don't want her to go along that you could give 2 squirts of pee about her.

 

Why marry someone if you have that kind of lousy impression of her that she would be a thorn in your side?

 

If married and my wife told me she wants to go on an overseas vacation without me, she'd be handed divorce papers when she returned.

[Dexter Morgan]

The day I'd rather vacation alone rather than be with my husband is the day I'll re-think my marriage.

 

I'll be honest – sometimes I do prefer to go someplace alone, without my husband, because I know he'd be bored stiff hanging out with my girlfriends.

 

 

Everyone needs some alone time, but this guy is not wanting his wife to go on a major vacation because his attitude about her is piss poor.

 

He sees her as someone he has to babysit. Good enough to marry, but not good enough to go on vacation with him??? huh?

[Touche]

The day I'd rather vacation alone rather than be with my husband is the day I'll re-think my marriage.

 

I'll be honest – sometimes I do prefer to go someplace alone, without my husband, because I know he'd be bored stiff hanging out with my girlfriends. And it's cool with him, because early in the marriage we agreed that there will be times when one or the other isn't interested in coming along, and that person shouldn't be forced into going.

 

I understand but an outing out with the girls and a 2 to 3 month long vacation is quite another, don't you think?

 

Besides, I'm not even saying it's wrong for a married couple to take separate vacations. It's just not for me and not for us as a couple. It never was and never will be. We've talked about it and how others couples do that but we're on the same page with that.

 

For other couples it would be normal. For us it would mean something is seriously wrong. See? I'm not judging. I was only speaking for myself and the type of marriage we have. It doesn't mean we're better in any way than a couple who takes separate vacations.

 

It's just a matter of what works for each couple.

 

However, in this case here (OP's case) the REASONS given for wanting that vacation alone for that long are not good signs in my opinion. Again, we're talking about 2 to 3 months not a night out with the boys.

[Touche]

Everyone needs some alone time, but this guy is not wanting his wife to go on a major vacation because his attitude about her is piss poor.

 

He sees her as someone he has to babysit. Good enough to marry, but not good enough to go on vacation with him??? huh?

 

Exactly. I completely agree.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

If you were talking about a week long ski trip with your buddies, I'ld say go for it. A three month sabbatical from your marriage of only 18 months is quite another thing. Why is it that you hope to separate from your wife for that amount of time? I understand that finishing school and taking a small break before you start your career sounds refreshing. You are awfully young it seems to be able to afford to take 3 months off of work after just finishing a degree. Did you put yourself through college? Will your wife be working during your 1/4 year retreat to sustain your life while you are gone?

 

I also can't imagine NOT sharing an experience like that with my spouse.