Funkymonkey Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 Whenever I feel emotions for a girl I seem attracted too, I always end up in the friend zone. Always, since high school I've always been a hardcore rebellious party kid. Stupid one night stands at parties are just starting to get lame. I'm 19 years old now, just started college, and I want to experience what it's like to be in a relationship. No i'm not looking for my future wife, I just want to see what it's like to have girlfriend and all that stuff. It seems like I can't help myself, I tend to "like people" to easily, once i'm hooked i'm hooked. Which leads to me being a total pussy, and being a nice guy,treating her like a princess and such. I'll play my cards right sometimes, being mysterious and leaving her the whole "wow I gotta know this guy better" but in the end it's always. "You know what, I rather have just stay freinds." You can say I fit the whole nice guy stereotype here. Am I just not meant for relationships? Any suggestions/tips?
D-Jam Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 It seems like I can't help myself, I tend to "like people" to easily, once i'm hooked i'm hooked. Which leads to me being a total pussy, and being a nice guy,treating her like a princess and such. You stated your problem right there. Even if you try to act mysterious, too many girls now see through it. Plus at your age, the girls are more out for "hot and exciting" and possibly "has money" more than "he treats me right". They usually HOPE he'll treat them right rather than look for a sure deal in that. I know what you're going through. You grow up seeing the depictions of the man who treats his love with kindness and care and she loves him to death for it, but the real world unfortunately doesn't work out that way. It makes you feel worse when the women you think highly of are rejecting you to hook up with guys they'll later be complaining to no end about. How to kill the "nice guy" thing? You don't have to kill it, but you need to realize that the "kindness and care" thing should only be handed out in small amounts early on and then given full strength when it's a relationship. When this woman wants to be with you and call herself "girlfriend". When you meet women, even ones you're attracted to, try to be charming and fun, but don't "be there" for them all of a sudden. I've done some very "nice guy" things for my girlfriend right now, like buy her $80 in books to study for a DAT. Would I do that for a girl I met and am getting to know? HELL NO. I do it for her because she loves me, loves that I support her in her goals, and I know she'll appreciate me for it...rather than think I'm boring and run out looking for a bad boy. When I've met women in places like bars, I'll chat, smile, try to be charming, but I wouldn't be immediately trying to buy them a drink and I even wouldn't be trying to get a number at some point in the night. In my past I would think "POTENTIAL!", but now I just see "female". I know this woman could be realistic and really wants a good man, or she's another of the flock who thinks she can make a prince out of a scoundrel. The way I find out is by judging on HOW MUCH INTEREST SHE GIVES ME IN RETURN. Don't go into ANYTHING with expectations. You meet her, chat, you two hit it off, numbers are exchanged...don't expect anything out of it. If you call and she answers, more chat, and date is set up...awesome. If you call, get her voice mail, leave a message, and never hear from her...then you won't be disappointed because you didn't expect anything. Same deal with a first date. Be you...be charming...be a gentleman if you want. Remember, if she rejects you for treating her right, then you obviously should see that she's not worth your time. She's yet another little girl who will spend her 20s damaging herself with one jerk after the next...and even if you managed to land her as a GF, there's more chance she'll cheat on you or be a taker while you're a giver. Girls complain to death how guys never treat them well, but too many of them willingly reject men who would treat them well and hope that the ones who don't will grow to do that. That's their problem and their self-made curse. Let them be and use this as your litmus test in finding a good woman out of the little girls. Make "being a prince" the thing they EARN if they show you they respect you, care about you, and won't run if you do those "nice guy" things for her. Be man when you meet them, and then be their prince when she agrees to be your princess. Got it?
Charles1978 Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 You stated your problem right there. Even if you try to act mysterious, too many girls now see through it. Plus at your age, the girls are more out for "hot and exciting" and possibly "has money" more than "he treats me right". They usually HOPE he'll treat them right rather than look for a sure deal in that. I know what you're going through. You grow up seeing the depictions of the man who treats his love with kindness and care and she loves him to death for it, but the real world unfortunately doesn't work out that way. It makes you feel worse when the women you think highly of are rejecting you to hook up with guys they'll later be complaining to no end about. How to kill the "nice guy" thing? You don't have to kill it, but you need to realize that the "kindness and care" thing should only be handed out in small amounts early on and then given full strength when it's a relationship. When this woman wants to be with you and call herself "girlfriend". When you meet women, even ones you're attracted to, try to be charming and fun, but don't "be there" for them all of a sudden. I've done some very "nice guy" things for my girlfriend right now, like buy her $80 in books to study for a DAT. Would I do that for a girl I met and am getting to know? HELL NO. I do it for her because she loves me, loves that I support her in her goals, and I know she'll appreciate me for it...rather than think I'm boring and run out looking for a bad boy. When I've met women in places like bars, I'll chat, smile, try to be charming, but I wouldn't be immediately trying to buy them a drink and I even wouldn't be trying to get a number at some point in the night. In my past I would think "POTENTIAL!", but now I just see "female". I know this woman could be realistic and really wants a good man, or she's another of the flock who thinks she can make a prince out of a scoundrel. The way I find out is by judging on HOW MUCH INTEREST SHE GIVES ME IN RETURN. Don't go into ANYTHING with expectations. You meet her, chat, you two hit it off, numbers are exchanged...don't expect anything out of it. If you call and she answers, more chat, and date is set up...awesome. If you call, get her voice mail, leave a message, and never hear from her...then you won't be disappointed because you didn't expect anything. Same deal with a first date. Be you...be charming...be a gentleman if you want. Remember, if she rejects you for treating her right, then you obviously should see that she's not worth your time. She's yet another little girl who will spend her 20s damaging herself with one jerk after the next...and even if you managed to land her as a GF, there's more chance she'll cheat on you or be a taker while you're a giver. Girls complain to death how guys never treat them well, but too many of them willingly reject men who would treat them well and hope that the ones who don't will grow to do that. That's their problem and their self-made curse. Let them be and use this as your litmus test in finding a good woman out of the little girls. Make "being a prince" the thing they EARN if they show you they respect you, care about you, and won't run if you do those "nice guy" things for her. Be man when you meet them, and then be their prince when she agrees to be your princess. Got it? Perfect response. I can't add a thing.
Author Funkymonkey Posted November 12, 2008 Author Posted November 12, 2008 You stated your problem right there. Even if you try to act mysterious, too many girls now see through it. Plus at your age, the girls are more out for "hot and exciting" and possibly "has money" more than "he treats me right". They usually HOPE he'll treat them right rather than look for a sure deal in that. I know what you're going through. You grow up seeing the depictions of the man who treats his love with kindness and care and she loves him to death for it, but the real world unfortunately doesn't work out that way. It makes you feel worse when the women you think highly of are rejecting you to hook up with guys they'll later be complaining to no end about. How to kill the "nice guy" thing? You don't have to kill it, but you need to realize that the "kindness and care" thing should only be handed out in small amounts early on and then given full strength when it's a relationship. When this woman wants to be with you and call herself "girlfriend". When you meet women, even ones you're attracted to, try to be charming and fun, but don't "be there" for them all of a sudden. I've done some very "nice guy" things for my girlfriend right now, like buy her $80 in books to study for a DAT. Would I do that for a girl I met and am getting to know? HELL NO. I do it for her because she loves me, loves that I support her in her goals, and I know she'll appreciate me for it...rather than think I'm boring and run out looking for a bad boy. When I've met women in places like bars, I'll chat, smile, try to be charming, but I wouldn't be immediately trying to buy them a drink and I even wouldn't be trying to get a number at some point in the night. In my past I would think "POTENTIAL!", but now I just see "female". I know this woman could be realistic and really wants a good man, or she's another of the flock who thinks she can make a prince out of a scoundrel. The way I find out is by judging on HOW MUCH INTEREST SHE GIVES ME IN RETURN. Don't go into ANYTHING with expectations. You meet her, chat, you two hit it off, numbers are exchanged...don't expect anything out of it. If you call and she answers, more chat, and date is set up...awesome. If you call, get her voice mail, leave a message, and never hear from her...then you won't be disappointed because you didn't expect anything. Same deal with a first date. Be you...be charming...be a gentleman if you want. Remember, if she rejects you for treating her right, then you obviously should see that she's not worth your time. She's yet another little girl who will spend her 20s damaging herself with one jerk after the next...and even if you managed to land her as a GF, there's more chance she'll cheat on you or be a taker while you're a giver. Girls complain to death how guys never treat them well, but too many of them willingly reject men who would treat them well and hope that the ones who don't will grow to do that. That's their problem and their self-made curse. Let them be and use this as your litmus test in finding a good woman out of the little girls. Make "being a prince" the thing they EARN if they show you they respect you, care about you, and won't run if you do those "nice guy" things for her. Be man when you meet them, and then be their prince when she agrees to be your princess. Got it? Wow that really helped. Thanks a bunch D-Jam
edinsvet Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 College. That can be so much fun. I wish I could go back and do it over. DO NOT waste the most precious years of your life on girls that have "friended" you. Or tell you that you are a nice guy. Once you are in the friend category they are basically saying you might as well be one of the girls. I will waste your time, and then sleep with some other loser while you sit home alone and mastur****. That is not a good friend. Here is a suggestion: This will be a lof of fun if you do exactly what I am recommending. Next time you are at one of these big events or parties with a lot of people like a concert with 1000 people or something like this. Commit to yourself that you will approach 30 women that night. No matter what happens that night, approach 30 women. It is actually pretty easy. Just say hi. But make sure you approach them from the front, if you approach them from the side or back you will scare them. It is best to approach them slowly so they can have a look at you as you are walking over. They have to hear you say hi, and you must be smiling. Most women will say hi back. After they say hi keep smiling but pause for 3 or 4 seconds without saying anything else. Watch and guage their reaction to you carefully. Then you can ask how are you, introduce yourself, ask if they are enjoying the evening etc. If they aren't interested they will let you know. If you sense any signs of resistance, you can gracefully compliment them about their appearance or something they are wearing. Tell them they are beautiful, and say have a nice evening and that you need to go. Never be rude, even if they are total bitches to you. Never be rude though it will ruin your night. Just ignore the rude ones and keep moving. One of the girls, most likely way before you get to 30. Will make it clear that she is totally interested. She will be smiling, asking you questions, keeping the conversation going etc. Hook up with her. It will help restore your confidence as a man that women are attracted to in a physical way.
Author Funkymonkey Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 College. That can be so much fun. I wish I could go back and do it over. DO NOT waste the most precious years of your life on girls that have "friended" you. Or tell you that you are a nice guy. Once you are in the friend category they are basically saying you might as well be one of the girls. I will waste your time, and then sleep with some other loser while you sit home alone and mastur****. That is not a good friend. Here is a suggestion: This will be a lof of fun if you do exactly what I am recommending. Next time you are at one of these big events or parties with a lot of people like a concert with 1000 people or something like this. Commit to yourself that you will approach 30 women that night. No matter what happens that night, approach 30 women. It is actually pretty easy. Just say hi. But make sure you approach them from the front, if you approach them from the side or back you will scare them. It is best to approach them slowly so they can have a look at you as you are walking over. They have to hear you say hi, and you must be smiling. Most women will say hi back. After they say hi keep smiling but pause for 3 or 4 seconds without saying anything else. Watch and guage their reaction to you carefully. Then you can ask how are you, introduce yourself, ask if they are enjoying the evening etc. If they aren't interested they will let you know. If you sense any signs of resistance, you can gracefully compliment them about their appearance or something they are wearing. Tell them they are beautiful, and say have a nice evening and that you need to go. Never be rude, even if they are total bitches to you. Never be rude though it will ruin your night. Just ignore the rude ones and keep moving. One of the girls, most likely way before you get to 30. Will make it clear that she is totally interested. She will be smiling, asking you questions, keeping the conversation going etc. Hook up with her. It will help restore your confidence as a man that women are attracted to in a physical way. Haha, well the whole approach 30 women at a big party and act like a nice guy doesnt seem like something id do. But thanks anyways. And yeah, college isn't that great, hopefully when I move out and live on campus things will get better.
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