I thought it was the right thing to do?

[melissa123]

Thanks for that Narf

 

Makes me feel better that im not the only one in this situation.

I just cant help but think this is all my own fault.

Like I must have done something to make him change.

 

How would anyone else react if their partner ignored them?

Would it make you angry?

I keep feeling like I put to much pressure on him to communicate with me.

And when he ignored me for no reason I would get angry!

Not to the point where I would scream and yell but just a 'why arent you talking to me' or 'are you guna talk to me today' would get him angry.

 

It didn't happen much, only after he ignored me for 3 days i asked 'why aren't you talking to me' And he got angry

And the other time I txtd him twice at 7am saying good luck for his exam that day and that I had two job interviews that day' by 11pm I had no response so txt 'are you going to talk to me today?' which again made him angry at me!

 

Is this all my fault?! Maybe I went overboard wanting him to care and ask about me.

 

Also a few times I asked if I could come and visit and he would say he is to busy so I would get upset. It happened alot but only once I said

'Im not having a go at you so please dont get angry but do you seriously care so little that you cant come up for just a day?'

 

Finally the only other thing I can think of is I always asking if we can talk. I was upset with his behaviour so I would keep asking if we could talk on the phone.

Do you think he took the 'can we please talk' as me wanting to break up with him so he just lost faith in me?

 

I feel awful over this, Everyother circumstance I would bend overbackwards to make him happy.

How would others react if they tried their best to make someone happy only to get snapped at or ignored?

Would you react the same way?

 

Is it normal to feel like this is all my fault.

I mean no matter how hard I tried he broke up with me so there must have been a reason.

 

I hate myself so much right now. Everything is always my fault. No matter how hard I try I ALWAYS stuff it up!

I wish I was someone else. I actually feel like death

[bubblegum]

Melissa, you are taking responsibility for his actions. You would reach out to him and try to communicate and he would put up a huge brick wall by becoming angry. How can that be your fault? Remember, these behaviors and his coldness to you has been going on for a long time, only escalating at the end.

 

You have every right to feel hurt and angry at being ignored!

 

Here is a tough question for you, asked only to help you sort through this pattern of you blaming yourself for everything: has any family member ever abandoned you? a parent? any alcoholism/drug abuse in your family?

 

My question might seem like it's odd and coming out of left field, but I'm only asking out of a desire to help, so please don't take offense.

[ThomasX]

Sorry for the delay miss melissa.

 

As for if I would appreciate a girl who shows love and attention-- HELL YEAH! Anyone who wouldnt is an idiot, frankly. You are a great person and you are ON the right track with life and your mentality. It's HIM whos off track, and im saying that to you straight up with the most brutal honesty I can. I'm not telling you it just to make you feel better-- I'm telling you it because you NEED to SEE the FACTS. You know how I say its his loss? THATS CUZ IT REALLY ACTUALLY IS.

 

And I have read all your posts babe. The dudes a tard, and I would never hang out with him. Disrespecting people and breaking trust like he has-- ignoring people who genuinally love him... thats inexcusable. One of my best friends has that problem and I give him hell everyday about it. You can't go playing with peoples hearts. Your ex is an idiot, as I said before.

 

Melissa on a personality/mental health test, I'd rate you a 8/10. (10 being the best, 0 being the worst). You are on the right track and have the right ideas. It's not you who messed up.

 

As for your ex, he'd be somewhere around the 2.5-3/10. Straight up, no joking, no bs, no lies to make you feel better. Just facts. It's his loss... x2.

 

 

Average person would be somewhere between 5.5-6.5/10.

[melissa123]

Thanks guys

 

Bubble gum that question is totally fine, but the answer is no! I just have a habbit of blaming everything on myself.

Thanks for that post tho, it helped me realise that its not all my fault, I just wish there was something I could have done . I love him so much. Its such a shame to find something really special and love someone that much just to throw it away.

I guess I kinda of feel like a bit of a failure for letting something so good go

People I talk to say his behaviour indicates that there was probably someone else. It stings so much to hear that. I know for a fact that if it were true I wouldn't be able to cope. Its hard enough already but if that were true, hell I would be here anymore. dead serious.

I have been left twice before for someone else and if it were to happen again I would be over the edge.

 

And Thomas thanks so much again! Where would I be without you! Your truly a lifesaver! Im fighting everyday just to stay here and your def a real help.

I cant understand why ur ex gf left. Honestly your an amazing person! I mean you save lifes with the type of help you give here. Im a total stranger and your taking the time to try and help me.

I think thats an amazing quality. Its so rare you would find someone who would do that. Your truly amazing. When you go to sleep at night instead of feeling upset over your ex, smile because you yourself have single handidly saved lifes of this sight.