lofi_tokyo Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 Wow! This weekend I went to Toronto and it totally made me feel alive again. I've always had big dreams but they've kind of got lost in the time since my breakup with my ex. I'll admit, while I accepted things were over NOW, I kept planning for the future; I figured I'd date some nice guys, and eventually move to California, call up my ex, see where things went. Welllll this weekend I found a new city to love and learn about, and suddenly I remembered why my ex and I really, REALLY, were not working. We just have different plans for our lives! Do I think we were a bad couple? NO! Not at all! But he has a solid (and quite boring) plan for his life - me? I don't want things pinned down! I liked the idea of marrying him someday, but until then I wanted to accomplish a million incredible things, things which, unfortunately, were not things that benefited us as a couple so much. I actually do not blame my ex for finding someone new while I was in Tokyo - what was I thinking, asking him to wait? Were 20! We have our whole lives to live, and asking him to wait and be lonely while I'm off gallivanting around the world was ridiculous! I'm glad he has someone new now. It sucks he found her while we were together, I don't like her because shes crazy towards me, but you know what? Without her, I would have stayed in a relationship I desperately wanted to end, but was too afraid of being alone and losing such a wonderful man, and my ex would have been stuck at home alone every night of his life until I finally settled down. So! Where am I at now? Well... life is great. I'm feeling pretty good about everything, including the break up. Yup! I've realized losing my ex was something I needed to happen, I was waiting on it forever I think, and my ex sensed that and started to withdraw, when he did, I convinced myself I needed him, but all that did was trap us both. We're both living the lives we need now. Theyre not lives together, but thats not a bad thing. We learned a lot from eachother. Theres still pain at times, pain of loss, but the good feelings of finally being able to do what I need without leaving my love behind is great. So. Thats all I have to say! Who knows if life will take me back to my ex or not. I won't rule that out. Though I'm no longer planning on it, and to be honest, I really do not see it happening, but never say never! Life goes on!
EmperorR Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 that's great that you are feeling better, maybe that is what I need to get away
Nemo Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 Where am I at now? Well... life is great. I'm feeling pretty good about everything, including the break up. Yup! I've realized losing my ex was something I needed to happen, I was waiting on it forever I think, You'll have to give me a few more details about how this denial thing works. It sure sounds great! I'm guessing you just need some carpet to sweep a whole bunch of emotional crap under, and you're all set. I have to admit it's a foolproof strategy. Anyway, there's nothing like your first visit to an exciting city to usher in fresh and liberating new thoughts. But remember, now that you're back, that it's OK to have residual feelings. You'll work through them, and come out the other side, but there's no need to rush your romantic rehabilitation. Take one day at a time, and keep that optimistic feeling about the future.
Peter_pan Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 I've realized losing my ex was something I needed to happen, I was waiting on it forever I think, and my ex sensed that and started to withdraw, when he did, I convinced myself I needed him, but all that did was trap us both. wow that exactly how i thought in my situation!!!!!! im glad your feeling this way anyway you look cute in your pic btw, you have very nice eyes and shaped face, also like your decision on the hair
sultry33 Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 You'll have to give me a few more details about how this denial thing works. It sure sounds great! I'm guessing you just need some carpet to sweep a whole bunch of emotional crap under, and you're all set. I have to admit it's a foolproof strategy. Anyway, there's nothing like your first visit to an exciting city to usher in fresh and liberating new thoughts. But remember, now that you're back, that it's OK to have residual feelings. You'll work through them, and come out the other side, but there's no need to rush your romantic rehabilitation. Take one day at a time, and keep that optimistic feeling about the future. positive thinking is great i think as above tokoyo be happy when you feel thisway but be prepared for the bumps along the way when it gets tough remember this feeling ive found for me.. some days.. are pure great in that im sex on legs.. ultra confident and woo hoo i can get dates;) other days.. i fight the tears .. or let them out.. those days i miss him.. miss our planned future and the life we had.. i feel weak and vulnerable so just go careful and dont see it as a failure if you have bumpy days:love:
Author lofi_tokyo Posted November 12, 2008 Author Posted November 12, 2008 Thanks for the warnings all, and I think you're probably right. There are sure to be days where I'm gonna feel down. But you know what? Even people that aren't going through a break up have ****ty ****ty days. So I'm not scared. I've found where I was a few months ago again, and I'm going to chase that part of me, there will be bumps no doubt, but thats life, I can't expect it all to be amazing. Oy! Life is a rollercoaster, eh?
Melrapuo Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 Glad to hear you're doing better! And its good that you recognize that there will be still be moments of sadness. But if you didn't have those, than the good days wouldn't feel so much better. : )
MichiganMan222 Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 You got it TV! I know someday, somewhere, I will bump into my ex. She might even have her new guy with her. It'll sting...but just for a little-bit. S**t happens. But in the big picture, just like you, the past is not consuming me.
mrkingcory Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Life goes on, very positive thinking. Keeping yourself in the past could drag you down until you realize, then pick yourself back up again. I try to stay positive but negative things keep getting in my way. But if you got nothing to lose, what else can be taken from you? Thats the real question I often ask friends.
roghornio Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 Nice one! I moved to a whole new city, well in fact a whole new country too - and it was the best damn thing i ever did. I was always quite a shy person and i thrived on routine. Coming here on my own forced me to go out and meet lots of new people and it also gave me a whole perspective on my past life in my old city where i lived. I would recommend it to anyone - if you have nothing to tie you too where you live, get out and see some where new, even if only for a couple of months - whatever you leave behind will still be there when you come back (though once you leave i almost guarantee you'll not want too!). As for ex girlfriends i look back and i actually laugh at the situations. I've learned so much being on my own, in fact i used to be scared to be on my own because i dreaded what my mind would conjure up in it's moments alone - now i genuinely am extremely comfortable with me.
Peter_pan Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 awesome , looks like a lot of us are pulling through.
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