Alex_M Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 So after me and my 2 year long GF split up a month a go I was left confused. I did the whole sobbing and questioning to her and pushed her away. I spoke to some people and I straightened my head, prepared myself for the worst. I ignored her for a while, she wanted to be friends still but I was just giving her space. I told her I understood why she left. (She's 19 and just started uni and all her friends are single and I guess she feels trapped a bit with me. No there is no one else, she just doesn't feel like being in a relationship.) I can actually totally understand and am using this time to sort my life out. Losing weight and making new friends. So just so you guys know, I'm not CHASING her around or WAITING for her. I do want to get back together, but in time. When she's had some time to herself. For now we are friends, we haven't seen each other since but she has started using her pet names for me again. Talking to me like how we used to and suggesting activities we might do in the future, like go Christmas shopping. What do you guys think about all this? Do you think I'm setting myself up to get hurt again? Just throw some ideas over here, I know that I'm gonna stick with it. It's worth it. I'm just interested in what everyone thinks.
SRV Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 Alex, so far you are using the right approach. She is still young and I assume that you are too. Focus on your studies and enjoying Uni life. Those were the best years of my life, a lot of life experiences, learning, travelling, meeting new people and might I add dating, expanding your pool of a potential spouse in the future. Back to her, try and maintain low contact with her. Do not show her that you will always be at her beckon call, continue living your life and bettering yourself and you will be amazed at the results. She will eventually find a better you or you will find someone else. Good luck buddy!
Author Alex_M Posted November 11, 2008 Author Posted November 11, 2008 Being single is over-rated I reckon. She'll get bored and lonely I think and we'll just grow closer together. Rebuild the relationship instead of trying to go back to it. I see so many people just wanting to go back and "try again". Let's be honest that isn't going to work. It's going to feel weird and one sided (the person who took them back having the power). I love her as a person, as my best friend and as a girl. If she's happy, and I'm happy then there's no real problem. As long as she doesn't force herself to act differently and false around me I'm OK with it, and so far she's been right as rain. If she sleeps with someone else I am going to end it though, but I wont tell her though because that would be unfair.
BCCA Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 Being single is over-rated I reckon. She'll get bored and lonely I think and we'll just grow closer together. Rebuild the relationship instead of trying to go back to it. I see so many people just wanting to go back and "try again". Let's be honest that isn't going to work. It's going to feel weird and one sided (the person who took them back having the power). I love her as a person, as my best friend and as a girl. If she's happy, and I'm happy then there's no real problem. As long as she doesn't force herself to act differently and false around me I'm OK with it, and so far she's been right as rain. If she sleeps with someone else I am going to end it though, but I wont tell her though because that would be unfair. Brother, you are dancing over an open flame and hoping not to get burned. Being friends with an ex is probably one of the worst things you can do, at least for a long while. It really has to be all or nothing as long as you have feelings, because you really dont want to be her friend, youre only doing it as a means to try and get back together. I think you should get as far away from her and the situation as possible until youve had time to get over things (which is probably going to take a few months, at least). Youre not doing yourself any favors by keeping her in your life. All she can do is hurt you right now. I need to tell you this, as one man to another: She is going to sleep with someone else sooner or later. You dont break up with someone because you only want to sleep with them for the rest of your life. You dont want to be around to hear about it, or have to face her after finding out. Youre asking for trouble if you honestly believe that it just wont happen. Get away from this girl and this relationship, and focus on healing. Being friends is not going to help you out at all, trust me.
Author Alex_M Posted November 11, 2008 Author Posted November 11, 2008 Thank you for your concerns, It's nice to know that people care. It is worth the risk to me. I know what she's doing, right now I'm preparing for the worst. We started out as best friends and we can continue to be at least until I can honestly say I tried my hardest for us to be in each other's lives. I can tell she's trying too. I'm sure you'll see me in a few weeks distraught, I'm asking for it. But ahhh well, such is love and I'm the biggest fool of them all
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