SmartWoman321 Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 Hi---some of you might remember me- I was married for 18 years, 3 kids- 12,14, 16. STBX and I living like siblings/roommates for years, he was content with that- I was not. Tried MC. Finally seperated in Jan, been 10 months now. He still comes over a lot to do the lawn and stuff, helping me take care of the house- nice guy and I appreciate it. In the 10 months he has not been here, I have mostly noticed that my feelings haven't changed one way or another- nothing has changed in our relationship except he is not in my bed at night. That tells you how little we communicated, how little we did together, etc. I saw an IC for 8 months- helped me get thru the horrible guilt I felt for uprooting his life, and ofcoarse, the kids. All kids doing fine- took them to IC twice, she said they didn't need to come anymore---they are doing so well because stbx and I are soley focused on maintaining a cordial relationship and co-parenting. One of the best things we did was to go to the court ordered class on co-parenting. That was great. We are uncontested and have open parenting time- we play it by ear, switiching kids each weekend as their schedules allow. Working out. Oldest lives with him. I have recently starting dating a little- only 3 so far, but its a start and haven't met "Mr Right" yet, nor even "Mr. Maybe"- but thats ok- taking it slow is important. I am not afraid of being alone forever anymore- although I have hopes I won't be- I am not so freaked out. I am the textbook case of "love vs in love" theory. Can't live with someone I am not in love with- just can't. Rather be alone. I joined a bowling team, a DivorceCare support group and reconnected with old same-sex freinds that I get together with often. Gotta keep busy! Well, just thought I would update........
Curmudgeon Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 Sounds like you're right where you ought to be and at a healthy place at that. You appear to have realistic and sustainable balance in your life and that's what's best for all of you, especially the children. As they say in pre-school, "Good Job!"
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