pniggy12 Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 So here's the deal , I met a girl after a few emails and a couple calls we went on a date , i took her to dinner and a hockey game half way through the date she was totaly in to me she reached for my arm when ever we walked through the areana, on the trainhome she held my hand on the drive home she gave off reassuance that i was right for her and then a long kiss good night , ( perfect right ? ) the next day comes and i call her she said she was tired and didn't wanna talk ?? Gave her some space a 2days after it happenned to be her birthday so i emailed her and wished her a happy birthday and got no reply i have tried to call and text and still no response .. The trouble i am having is this rejection is hit me harder than any break up i've ever gone through it's all i think about , and then i think about what did i do wrong and can't find anything it has overwhelmed so bad that i am having trouble eating and sleeping , i sit at work and try to distract my attention but it doesn't help ...i'm constantly what if i did this .. or maybe i should call again , what is she doing .. then i get mad at myself for feeling so attatched to someone i barely know i just want to forget and move on ..it's been 7 days since the date if anything time has not healed but has made it worse AArrrggg hhhh!!
amaysngrace Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 i have tried to call and text and still no response .. How many times? Because if you called more than once with no reply or texted more than once with no reply she's going to think you are a complete psycho.
2angry Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 That is strange, but I had the same thing happen to me once, and didn't take it well either. I guess some girls like leading guys on and just playing with our heads. Or maybe she has some issues and is afraid of anything serious. Or maybe she has somebody and was just experimenting with you. Whatever the reason is, you should blame yourself. It seems that you did everything right - you didn't come on too hard and hopefully you weren't too easy either. Girls like a challenge as much as we do. Good luck to you.
Author pniggy12 Posted November 11, 2008 Author Posted November 11, 2008 How many times? Because if you called more than once with no reply or texted more than once with no reply she's going to think you are a complete psycho. I only called twice and sent on text on her b-day
Ronni_W Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 The trouble i am having is this rejection is hit me harder than any Is it accurate, though, that someone who doesn't really know the real, deep-down 'you', can "reject" you? -- she just didn't have the time to get to know you, to reject the person who you are. Whatever it is that turned her off is about HER personal preferences, to which she is perfectly entitled. Maybe she didn't like how you dress, or walk, or whatever. It just means how she acted with you on the way home didn't match up what she was feeling for you. That is HER deficiency, not yours. Like someone else said, there doesn't appear that you could have done anything different than you did. You didn't do anything "wrong". From the other side, the girls that you are not into don't have to do anything "wrong" for you to not be into them. They can be perfectly fine and nice BUT they just don't match up with your personal preferences about who/what you want to date. I know it can be frustrating when our minds start going obsessive on us, with thoughts of stuff we know ought not to bother us in the slightest. Hopefully you will grab full control back (from your misbehaving mind) sooner than later .
sunshinegirl Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 It just means how she acted with you on the way home didn't match up what she was feeling for you. That is HER deficiency, not yours. I think "deficiency" is a poorly chosen word but I otherwise agree with Ronni's post.
Author pniggy12 Posted November 11, 2008 Author Posted November 11, 2008 Thanks for the words of wisdom Ronni ,,, you seem to be a legend with in this forum This whole thing has been very confusing and i'm just shocked over how poorly i'm taking this
sunshinegirl Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 I'm curious about why you posted it in this forum (breakups) when it was (not to be insensitive, but...) one date. ONE. If you spend any time on the dating forum, you'll see that others go through this all the time. First dates that seemed great but nothing comes of it. First dates that sucked from the poster's perspective but the other person had a great time. And every permutation in between. So...check out that forum. It might help 'normalize' how you're feeling to spend time reading others' stories.
Author pniggy12 Posted November 11, 2008 Author Posted November 11, 2008 Thank you Sunshine girl I will look there , i posted here as i was looking for words of wisdom in a Coping header that was in this forum and the feelings that where explained in there seem to match what i was going through ..
Ronni_W Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 the feelings that where explained in there seem to match what i was going through .. I guess some of your confusion is precisely that one part of your mind DOES know it is an over-the-top reaction...but the part that is obsessing simply does not seem to care? So, ObsessiveMind is going through a 'kind of' break-up that is traumatizing you -- this is the appropriate forum for that part of things. And at the same time, RationalMind is going, "WTF are we doing in THIS forum?...We never broke up with anybody!!!" Something like that? Anyway, the important piece is that you're getting what you need to help you feel better -- hope that is happening for you -- the source doesn't matter nearly so much. PS: You freaked me out with that "legend" comment -- now I gotta go for therapy but...I also do appreciate your sentiment, thanks for expressing it.
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