theBrokenMuse Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Been there. My ex was someone very special to me. I thought we were as happy a couple as one could get. We clicked so well and got along famously. Then one day he tells me (after a long day of fun activities that we both enjoy no less) that he needs to be on his 'own' for a while to think. He wouldn't explain what that meant or why he suddenly needed to be away from me from out of the blue. I was literally crumpled on the floor sobbing while he grabbed a few things, threw them in a box and walked out of my life without a backwards glance. Apparently, according to a mutual friend, he moved right into another woman's house. I never saw it coming. He never acted unhappy or unaffectionate. We weren't going through a rough patch or anything. He was really good at detaching his emotions, I guess. It's amazing how things can change so much overnight. I used to think he was the love of my life but after awhile, knowing what he's capable of - his complete lack of integrity and honesty made me realize I was better then that jerk. So, I moved on and let me tell you, I'm no model by any stretch of the imagination but I found someone else and you will too but even if that weren't the case, it's better to be alone than with someone who is too stupid to appreciate what a precious gift real love is. Anyone who is willing to throw that away like it's garbage is unworthy of you.
Author emmanuel Posted November 17, 2008 Author Posted November 17, 2008 I know, everything seems fine and then one day, one of the 2 goes away, again in your case someone else was involved. You are telling me that now you think he was not you one true love. Thats my issue, I believe we all can have many relations, many partners and get married many times but in the end we will only have One True Love, who was compatible with you body and soul....and I know thats its her in my case. So I know I have to let her go and I can easily go dating other women, but it is very very hard to find someone that can be all you want in one... Thats what makes my break up so hard, she was everything I could dream of in a woman except for the last few weeks
theBrokenMuse Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 You are telling me that now you think he was not you one true love. What I am saying is that I don't think anyone who really values a person would mistreat them to this extent and if they don't value you, they can't be your true love.
Author emmanuel Posted November 18, 2008 Author Posted November 18, 2008 Hey Thomas, seems we are still struggling with our breaks up issues.... Tomorrow will be a tough day for me, she comes to pick up the rest of her stuff.,,, Whatever I can think, its still gonna be a tough deal to go through, i can't switch off my feelings just like that, I spent 1/4 of my life with her.... Tomorrow night will be hell to pay..
Ariadne Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 Hi, Did she want you to marry her to get the papers (to travel, see the father etc)?
Author emmanuel Posted November 18, 2008 Author Posted November 18, 2008 She jut got divorced from our friend who tried to help her years ago to obtain her papers, I only have a greencard so me marry her wouldn't work in that case.
Ariadne Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 Ah, Maybe she wants to get the papers with that other guy. Good luck tomorrow.
pushforward Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 Hey man, Glad you're keeping strong. I recommend that you have a friend be there while she takes her stuff. Or you pack it up for her and have a friend be there to give to her. You are not in any shape to speak to this girl. You still love her. That meeting is something that is going to break your heart all over again. You may think it's worth it. But we all know it's not. Let reality set in. Your brain is not in this equation. You need to bring logic into this. She left you for another guy. That's that. Seeing her will bring every negative thing about you that exists in your head out for the world to see. Will this give you closure? I don't think so. Closure never comes when emotions are involved. You need to give it time and let the dust settle. Once your rational and not in survival mode. You can then speak to her and get the answers if you want them. I highly suggest you stay away. For your own best interest. Trust me. I know the consequences of breaking NC. I know what it is to see the one you love in person and still have them not wanting to be with you. A part of you died already, I don't think you want to keep reliving that. Over and over. Healing begins when you accept her decision and let go. Forcing things will always backfire. She doesn't want you. You want her. Do the math and you will not win. If you do, she will leave once again because she has not seen what life is like without you. Sorry, I have to be completely honest with you. Because I want you to be completely honest with me. This is how I talk to myself now. Completely rational and the cold hard truth. Good luck man. Do what's best for you. In my opinion, she doesn't have your best interest in mind.
autumnsweater Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 I think that is excellent advice, pushforward. I'm trying to have that attitude even though I have only just undergone the breakup. I don't want to waste time calling her and letting her know how much I love her anymore. emmanuel, I know it seems impossible but you really just have to keep up NC. I'm only 2 days in and I know it's going to be incredibly difficult but I know I can do it if I put my mind to it and at the end the reward will be that I will have my self-respect and dignity intact. Even if I know that for the short-term that it's going to hurt like hell, I, like you, can get through this.
KissTheRain Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 Emmanuel, I registered to the forums after reading your story dude. I am going through a hard break up and I will post a thread on it for some help as I too really need some. I had been visiting these forums to read for help. I really wish you all the luck and strength, and I hope things get better for you. Take care Cheers,
Jennifer2 Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Emmanuel, So how did it go today?.. I hope your talk with her went well and you are feeling better Hang in there!
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