The hardest break up ever/ feeling like dying

[emmanuel]

I received an email today from my now Ex- girlfriend's friend, she moved out 10 days ago to rethink our 8 years of love together.."I am emailing you as the messenger" said her friend.

"Tatiana has found another place to stay, you can keep the cat"....

 

My girlfriend has been illegal in the US for 14 years, we have been together for 8 years, pure happiness, we bought a place together in Miami, climbed the social life together and were an example for all our friends.

I have success as a Model and as an art dealer, I was her only family, best friend and lover...I never thought of being with anyone else.

I left for Europe for 5 weeks, being illegal she can't come with me, at the same time we moved to a new condo in NY, signed a new lease and she find a new job as dentist assistant very well paid.

 

Now I am back and she said she wanted to try something else, I cried a lot, she ask for a small break and left to her best friend's house and I decide to not call her at all, its been 10 days and today I just got the email..

 

She found a businessman with a lot of money, and she is moving with him..just like this.

Now I am alone, keeping the cat that she got from the shelter and I have a huge rent to pay by myself..

Life can be tough isnt it?

I have been her best bf all along, we matched on everything, we even look alike, I have 8 albums of photos, travels together....all gone in an instant..

 

A real nightmare.. I am numb right now, I am 32, disgusted, I have seriously thought of getting in my bath tube and slashing my veins...

That s how bad I feel, like being a jew and having a friend turning me into the nazy....

Its very tough.

[ThomasX]

Let's see where to begin.

 

First off bro, as a fellow model, I am telling you straight up: you will not have trouble finding more women, you know? We all think that that one woman we 'really' get to know, is the only one of her type; BUT SHE ISN'T!!!!

 

There are a million more girls that have EVERYTHING she has that you like, both mentally and physically-- yet are even BETTER!

 

Listen, bro, you're never alone. Sure, it's tough breaking up. I know that because my gf left me last week and it ripped my heart to shreds. I know that feeling where it feels like your insides are being microwaved-- mostly because I've been going through it pretty much at the same while you have, it seems.

 

But man, sometimes the key is finding a way to shut out the past and become numb. That's pretty much the point I'm at-- I don't really feel emotion right now... and that can be a good thing, as long as it doesn't last forever.

 

Bro, you are a model. I know first hand how easy it is for a model to pick up girls. You have looks, and you're obviously a sensitive guy-- so you have a heart too. You know how many girls out there would kill for a guy who has looks and a heart? Trust me, a ****ing HELL of a lot. And i mean a HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of a lot. x50000000.

 

So trust me dude, stick with it. You aren't supposed to get better in a day-- but dude, you should take refuge knowing you aren't alone. I'm right here feeling that same pain as you dude, straight up. I'm getting through it man and you know you can too bro.

 

You don't need to jump into another relationship-- I made that mistake a while ago after I lost my first love. You are freaking young as hell dude you're 32. You're AT the age range where its EASIEST to find committed girls! Dude, you gotta forget some of the negatives and be like "hell yes".

 

You are a model

You are in a huge city full of women

You have a heart

You are at the age where tons of women are looking for relationships

 

Dude, you have it made. Laugh it up dude, f your ex.

[emmanuel]

Thanks Thomas,

nice to hear from you. But the truth is, I was proud to be in that relation with her for so long, we did everything together, I had build my life with her from nothing.

Modeling and look aside, I was her reason to be, being illegal I was her backbone and because she couldnt see her family for 14 years, I was her whole world.

It took her 10 days to move with a new guy.....man thats tough to digest.

I know I can get another girl, tahts not the point, its just that she was mine, I was hers and now she is out, so fast, no call, no email...

I am really lost right now.

Why women betray us like that...I do not understand

[ThomasX]

I understand big time what you mean dude. When I lost my first love, I had one of our mutual friends sendin me txt mssgs a week later saying he did **** with her. I woulda snapped that dudes neck on the spot if he were in sight.

 

The point is, dude:

#1: Girls are nuts

#2: They never know what they want

#3: Girls are NUTS. And I'm talking, like, ninjas eating bananas while skydiving and on fire, NUTSSS.

 

Dude I know women like I know the 26 letters of the alphabet; and mark my words, she's not going to be happy with that business man. HELL no she won't dude. Girls after so long want to try something new dude-- so they leave and try something new. But you know what? That irrational **** doesn't solidify. You think she'll be happy with that business dude? Hell no. It may seem like golden rays of sunshine to her right now dude but trust me as someone who knows women-- in a few weeks, those golden rays of sunshine will light up a junk yard. (Yeah, thats a badass metaphor right there if I do say so myself lol).

 

Dude, you best believe in a few months she'll come crawling back to you. Or at the very least, she will be regretting her decision like you can't even believe. You're an artist man and a model-- you lead an interested life! That businessman is another 9-5 drone... He's a dime and 2 pennies a dozen, ya know? She'll get bored of him so fast dude you'll think your ex is pitiful.

 

Dude, you can find another girl who will love you more-- and more sincerely. And you're so damn young dude you can find one and be with them MUCH longer than that 8 year bs. This is a blessing dude you just have to find out how to look at it that way. You wield your destiny my friend

[EmperorR]

sorry about that go nc and don't turn back, she probably already moved on

Months ago, some people don't appreciate things in life. Don't hurt yourself we've all been there. Trust me do nc, you will be thanking yorsemf in a few months

[emmanuel]

I don't know you but you are a true friend, to be honest she has everything to lose to go with that dude, she can't travel, can't fly inside the US, and she turned 34 ( even if she look 24 ).

I honestly think she will regret it, but it amaze me how fast everything you build can be forgotten, just like that.....just for more money or a better life....

when you are the one being dumped, it chilled your bones, my legs shake and I feel like I am on drugs....

I love this site, I think I will stay log on for a few weeks....

[ThomasX]

Oh don't even worry... she hasn't and won't forget all she's been through. She probably just wants to try something new-- and it will fall through dude it certainly will. Remember what I said about the golden rays.

 

She'll be crying and saying your name every night she goes to sleep, soon. Ya know?

 

It's not your loss dude. It's difficult as hell to see things positively right now but you have to think that maybe God is blessing you in a way you never saw coming. She seemed like everything you want dude but there are 7 billion people on Earth-- there's a better women... and you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that YOU are the good person (as far as past relationships go. since you did everything you could and were a good bf)

[pushforward]

Sad story man.

 

Pick yourself up. You got everything going on for you. She cannot see your worth, oh well. Her loss, not yours.

 

Be glad that you were able to share lives for awhile. Be glad that you get to see her true character before you got married or had kids.

 

You're in your prime. She's just leeching off another guy. She lacks any substance. She's going to be stuck in a vicious cycle of leeching and going to loveless relationships. She is undeserving of your love and care.

 

If she can leave you for a guy that has more money, what's going to happen to that guy? She's probably going to leave him or he's probably just going to use and abuse her.

 

She's damaged goods. Let it go and cut her out.

 

I would even go so far as to pack her **** and send it to her.

 

Not your fault for showing love and compassion. To take her in and be treated this way. Lesson learned, time to move on. You're single and ready to mingle.

 

Life is moving for you. Good job, good looks, heart of gold. Need I say more?

 

Don't let this one girl bring you down. What you had was special. Keep in mind WAS. She is no longer the girl you love. Show her that you are strong. Maintain NC. Pick up the pieces of your life and move on.

 

Just remember who loved her most. Who took care of her. Who she left. YOU, should you have any regrets? NOPE. You loved with all you got. She'll regret it.

 

You dodged a bullet on this one.

 

Keep strong!

 

I know how it feels to be dumped after you give your all. I'm 3 months into this and know I'm the best thing she ever walked out on. I'm just riding this out and working on self improvement.

 

No where but up!

[Lishy]

Emmanuel, I am going through a really tough time at the moment but I had to reply to you

 

Thomas is so spot on and his way of putting things is so motivational and I agree with him (not that ALL women are nuts lol) but that she will be regretting this very soon and that there are so many girls who would be so much better for you and wouldnt run out and get a friend to send a text! She may be 34, looking like 24 but she acts like she is 4!!!!!!!!

 

If I hear of you cutting your wrists I will be so disappointed in you as you will be of yourself, let me tell you that NO girl is worth harming yourself for!! NONE!!!!!

 

You need to grieve but you need to be realistic and ask yourself if she is worth your tears and heartache? The answer is a big .... fat .... NO!!!

 

Oh and if push comes to shove I will be your new girlfriend, I have a passport and can fly where I like and I have always fancied a model fella!! hahhaha joking hon but you keep your chin up and keep posting, it will help you heaps!

[mark982]

in country illegally. uuuummm well place phone call.

[emmanuel]

Thank you Lishy, you are definitely adorable and I would take you as girlfriend with pleasure, but my mind has to recover first, I do the NC pretty well so far, 10 days and no call.

Makes me stronger, also in 2 days time I had 2 girls coming up to me while I was on my computer at a Coffee place, to ask me if they can sit down and are telling me that I am cute and they do want to know me, I told them my story and they have been really helpful, to be honest I just slept with one of the two, which in a way make me feel better as I still feel attractive but in the other hand, it remind me that my ex- love is also doing the same stuff.....

I have tears just to think about it....

I could deport her but I am not a mean person, I would never do that.

This forum has helped me big time, I really had suicidal thinking, now I am coping with the pain but I am not in Denial anymore.

ONE THING FOR SURE...if your love ask for some time apart, or need to rethink the relationship...don't be blind....THERE IS ANOTHER PERSON INVOLVE........I have found out the harsh way.

[Vince Black]

there is another person involved,,there usually is.....but its not serious enough to want to hurt yourself physically dude

 

I'm not gonna bulls**t ya there is gonna be some pain involved....deal with it

 

But if i can give you one piece of serious advice.....don't go breaking other peoples hearts in the process...that's just plain cruel.

 

Remember you don't really want someone else to feel the same way you do right now because of you.

[emmanuel]

I know, I don't want to break anyone 's heart.

But again today I am collapsing, I took some pills to ease the pain and I jst woke up now in the evening.I got an email today fron her friend saying she will come to pick up all her stuff this week..I was doing some shopping in a store and I almost collapsed and endup not buying anything.

Somehow I dont want to let go...I cant stop crying, I probanly lost 5 pounds this week...this is madness...I am trying to be strong but I want to end it all...its back and forth....I need help.

[ThomasX]

Bro I am terribly sorry to hear about that. You aren't alone my friend-- today I almost collapsed too... while driving at high speeds. But I got a grip dude you gotta get a grip too.

 

Look at ya man you're a good looking dude and you're passionate. She doesn't validate you dude you don't need her and you never did. YOU have YOU. That's all you need my brother. When you go to sleep at night, you can wrap your arms around yourself. Sure, it may not be as comfortable, but atleast you've got something to hold onto.. and you ALWAYS will! Take refuge in that. You can't ever leave yourself-- you've always got an internal strength that will never weaken-- you always have a source to draw upon.

 

This too shall pass, man. You were probably out of her league anyways in both looks and personality. What's she have going for her again? She's a clingy, man jumping illegal alien. Come on dude, you're a damn model in the city that never sleeps. You could have any girl you please-- the key is finding the one you want.

 

Listen my friend. This won't come as much consolation right now but I'm going to tell you this so you have at least a glimmer of hope of SOMETHING to look forward to: One day, within the next 2 years, I will be in Hollywood. I will be movies. It's not a dream, it's a destiny. And you know what? As soon as I get there, bro, I'll hook you up. I won't forget you, and that's a guarantee. I know you're suffering man but you at least have a promise that won't be broken.

 

If you wanna read something to get your mind off this all-- you can read my blog I Just made. It goes into depth about the darkness I face. You may find some consolation in what we have in common here.

 

http://www.thomasxavier.blogspot.com

 

I'll be here for you my friend. We all will.

[emmanuel]

Thanks Thomas, I am gonna read your spot, I actually have made a few movies myself, with Eric Robers, some commercial also with Heidi Klum and Mickael Jordan, but the felling of betrayal in someone you trusted, wow, there is nothing wrong.

I am trying to cope with it, I did the nc..results is 2 emails which make me feel like 9/11 again ( I was next to the tower at that time )

Plus I look like hell after cryinh non stop, not the best thing to start the day.

I am just so hurt right now.

[ThomasX]

That's impressive as hell man, good job. (Bout the heidi klum and jordan stuff. Do you have any pics up anywhere? You look familiar but its hard to tell by such a small pic).

 

And I know you're hurt man, it's only natural. The whole world seems like it's going on around and without you, doesn't it? You feel left out, and you feel like everyone else is happy except you. We all feel that way man.

 

But it's not like that. You got us all dude. You were someone before her, and you'll continue to be that person. She can't ever touch that bro you're way too solid to sway in the wind like that. You know? She can't even fly on a plane dude do you have any idea how much more awesome you are without her?

[emmanuel]

Good post Thomas, I can't believe this happen to you on election night, what a shame, seems we are on the same path, the difference is that I have made my modeling career already and that she was part of that, now , at 32, I am in a transition phase to become an art dealer.

But the fact that your girl did it on the phone and that mine did it trought email, sent by her friend....well its hard to take, and remember , we were together 8 years....so habits are pretty deep at this stage, I am fighting everyday for not commit suicide, its on my brain every hour...

[emmanuel]

there it is

 

http://www.modelmayhem.com/520417

[melissa123]

Emmanel I feel for you really deeply.

Your comment about fighting everyday not to commit suicide really got me as I feel that same way to.

And its crazy but that is how much I loved this guy!

You have so much going for you however, your a model so obviously dont struggle in the looks department like I do!

Thats whats scaring me so much now to add to my heartache. I wont find anyone else, I will be single forever. No one will look twice at me due to my looks but everyone will look twice at you!

But please keep posting, im like you and fighting everyday to stay on this earth so i want to hear how you are going!

[ThomasX]

Bro you immediately need to see a professional. Please see a counselor tomorrow. Suicide would be such a huge, HUGE HUGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE mistake.

 

And I mean CATASTROPHIC MISTAKE.

 

Did you want to commit suicide BEFORE her? Hell no! So why would you AFTER her?!

 

Please contact a professional tomorrow and tell them it's urgent. You need to hold on bro, I've dealt with many people throughout my life who have wanted to commit suicide. Even in my earliest teens (13, 14) I was helping people not commit suicide. Best believe I will sure as hell do the same for you-- and more so for you.

 

You need to get a grip on this all dude-- I have thoughts of suicide too. But you have to be able to separate this all from your real life. Do you really want to never again see the sights of life? The beautiful sunsets, the amazing oceans? The moon on a starry night? The cutest little animals? Do you never want to meet kind people again?

 

Do you never want to feel happy again? What a disgrace it would be to you and everything and everyone that loves you, for you to go and do that to yourself. SUICIDE IS A PERMANENT SOLUTION TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

You don't see the light at the end of the tunnel in your life yet but bro you WILL. You damn well will. This is going to pass man and you have no IDEA how INSANELY strong you are going to be after. Like, you can't even IMAGINE. Right now, you are darkness. But when you get through this man you are going to shine brighter than the damn sun that lights the Earth. You understand?

 

I recommend trying some meditation. Keep a grip man. CONSIDER MOVING IF YOU HAVE TO!

 

Go to a new place, far away from where you are now if at all possible. BUT EVEN IF THAT ISN'T POSSIBLE, it doesn't matter! You can and WILL get better anyways. Please see a professional tomorrow. Make an appointment man they can guide you through the steps to better mental health-- and I'll be your friend and stick with you through it all along the way.

 

Please see how much ya worth man. It's a ****ing lot. Remember, suicide is an irreversible PERMANENT solution to a TEMPORARY problem. IT'S TEMPORARY!!

[melissa123]

omg just lookd at your modelling page!! You have nothing to ever worry about! You will be fighting off the offers!

You have SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much going for you!

[EmperorR]

betrayal is teh worst thing, the only person i trusted.

 

But trust me I've been there I've been cheated on gave up all my friends for the damn cheat, felt everything your feeling, the hate the anger, the why me, how could this be done to me, the feeling like im going to die life sucks, that if someone stuck a knife in my heart I'd smile and thank them

 

Untill I went NC, cut everything out. Time will heal you trust me, at the very least go see a therapist a counsellor, talk to soemone who cares about you. Don't let her win, Happiness is the best revenge, your young your a model, Don't give up.

[emmanuel]

Thanks for the help guys, I am selling a doctor tomorrow to get some pills to calm me down.

Melissa, looks is important but many, many good looking are not happy, a broken heart is a broken heart.

Ita actually more imporatnt to be loved for who you are , physic isn't the top priority.

Alex, I love your blog and agree and fell better everytime I am reading u.

Never leave this post.

[pushforward]

Hi Emmanuel,

 

Please reconsider your actions. Do not let this one person get the best of you. The suicidal thoughts are irrational. It's just the emotions and negativity talking.

 

Get a grip. Seek professional help if you need to. Talk it out with somebody. Call a suicide hotline. Your life is to be thrown away.

 

I know you are incredibly hurt. As most of us are going through this ourselves. We can empathize with you. Please talk some more and get things off your chest.

 

This one girl is getting the best of you. You know your own worth. Right now you're just clouded with emotions. Re-assess what you really got in life. You have plenty of things to look forward to.

 

You're buying a new place. You're in the transitioning phase into an art dealer. You're going to be hooked up by Thomas in his upcoming movies and commercials. You're single and do not have to answer to anyone but yourself.

 

I would recommend you lay off any medication and sleeping around. It will only backfire. I've been through that route. Face your fears man. Only way through it.

 

What are you really scared of? Being alone? We're here to help you. Know that there is hope. Know that there is help. Know that it does get better. You just need to realize you have to potential and power to bring yourself out of this.

 

I went through and still am recovering from depression. It takes a lot of time and work. It does get better. You have so much going for you. Please do not throw your life away.

 

If you want a sad story I can go on and on about people who have it much worse. Count your blessings man. The glass is never half empty! I'm sure you struggled much more when you were aspiring to become a model. It's hard work getting up there! You accomplished that. Here is another test life is throwing at you.

 

We're all here to help and pull you out of this! I know it will take your pain away, but writing helps. You will go through many downs before you have any ups. It's okay to feel the way you're feeling. Just do not act upon those emotions. Emotions will affect your logic. Especially since they are so raw and fresh.

 

Keep strong man. You want to be the poster boy for everybody here and how to recover. How to move on and be strong. DO IT FOR THE KIDS! LIKE ME.

 

If you seriously think your life is worth throwing away. Please PM me and I will give you some information about my history and how I managed to survive. DON'T GIVE UP!

 

 

Please read my post in coping

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t169822/

[emmanuel]

Pushforwards, I want to hear your story, do you have a link?

I am still gonna take some pills cause my emotions are too raw right now, and I can't go on crying all day, it drains me so much.

I want to know your story