Giving up facebook

[Nikki Sahagin]

Hey all!

 

Okay I am recently on the verge of what I would consider - a sort of emotional breakdown....at the tender age of 19. I recently went through a breakup (though we are currently back on track) and am just generally struggling with a sense of identity and potential depression/anxiety issues (I have a history of panic attacks which are ultimately over now).

 

I am trying to reform I suppose - or rejuvinate and focus on small steps to increase my overall wellbeing and i've cited facebook as one of my major bugbears. Now I use facebook all the time and waste a lot of time on it. But more than that - if you're feeling down, facebook is NOT the best site to spend time on. I know rationally that facebook makes peoples life's appear more interesting but where i'm feeling generally unhappy, unfulfilled etc. it's just a reminder of how people seemingly are having so much fun, finding it so easy, getting on just fine, and right now I can't deal with that.

 

I'm not giving up my account. I'm keeping it to reply to emails, comments, upload pictures etc, but the main thing I want to give up is 'facebook stalking' - checking other people's profiles for NO reason at all, particularly my boyfriends which just feeds into a sense of worry, panic, anxiety.

 

I want to use facebook for ME, not for others.

 

So....for those of you that use facebook or have given it up...how have you? What else do you do with your time? And just generally do you find social networking sites a positive or a negative thing? Any replies would be much appreciated! Thanks in advance

[SelfCentered]

I see where you're coming from. Facebook can be a horrible place to go on sometimes. With regards to breakups (that being all I have experience with recently!) it isn't the best place to be.

 

http://jscms.jrn.columbia.edu/cns/2007-04-24/edelman-facebookrelationships

 

Interesting article that explores that. I guess for our generation, Facebook is a decider with regards to how serious couples are. The time my ex set her status to In a Relationship with me, I knew we were established! By the same token, I knew we were over when she listed herself as single. Sad really.

 

I have deleted her as a friend now too. What swung it was when i found a photo of her that some guy had recently commented on, saying what he would like to "do" to her if he could. That made me sick. I don't want to have to see that kinda thing.

 

I agree too with how it can be a depressing place. If you're in a down time, logging onto Facebook and seeing how all your friends are having fun nights out and all that jazz can be such a bad thing! You question why on earth you're not doing the same.

 

I keep Facebook because it is a good place to arrange evenings out, keep up to date with friends (useful when you're away from home, like me). I have considered deleting it when I leave University. Purely because you hear these stories about how employers search social networking sites when you apply for a job. And lets face it, a new boss need not see photos of you passed out in a puddle after a heavy night...

[openbook08]

I deactivated my acc.

BEST thing I ever did.

Think about it if someone is a good friend and I wanna keep in touch with them Im gonna have their no and/or email address and Facebook wouldve been the last thing Id have used to contact them!!

Dont miss it...esp as last time I used it it cut like a knife thru my heart to see my ex now in a rship only about a month after hed told me he changed his mind about breakin up/wanted to get married etc & had spent the previous week on the fone to me wantin to meet up bein flirty n sweet. ugh. spit out that bitter pill.

THAT is what facebook meant to me!

[jayOG]

I keep my facebook active, but don't really use it. I had a myspace and there is untold amounts of drama on that site... I deleted my account, because it was ridiculous. I was hesitant because it provided a lot of dating opportunities. When I was at a party and made a good impression on someone they would sometimes know a mutual friend and find me on myspae... I'm happy I deleted it though. The drama wasn't worth it... Facebook seems to be ok though... If it is really affecting you then get rid of it. Live in the real world!!!

 

Postive thing if you use it for you. No stalking. Self Control!!!

 

I'm 20 and I know what you mean by how you see everybody else is having fun and you feel like you are missing out. It's just another insecurity. Do what you want and don't let other people decide how you should live your life.