lostgirl77 Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 I am going out with this guy for three months now, and we have become intimate. The thing that bothers me is that, he has two cats which he loves so much, involved in a cat rescue organization. He wears two small hoop earrings and his stand/movements *sometimes* ( not all the time) are not very macho or its a little bit feminine. At one point, we talked about something in passing and while he was telling me a story, he told me "I am not gay, but people think I am because I wear earrings". What do you guys think?
Lauriebell82 Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 He could just be "metrosexual." I know guys like that, that wear pink button down shirts and stuff. So let's think about this: Loves cats: A lot of guys love cats and are not gay. If he talks "baby talk" to them or puts bows on their head, then that's a different ball game. Wears too small earings: He says that he is not gay but people think he is because of his earings. This means that the comments bother him. Did you ever ask him why? Stand movements: What do you mean by this? Can you describe these movements? *Most important question: Ask him if he is attracted to men. That's it. If he says he isn't, then he could be in the closet, but watch his body language and tone of voice. Also how is the sex? Does he initiate it? Does he grab you and kiss you? Is there passion?
Tony T Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 Having two cats is a dead giveaway. Many gays have two cats.
Author lostgirl77 Posted November 11, 2008 Author Posted November 11, 2008 He initiates the sex and yes, it is passionate.
Lauriebell82 Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 He initiates the sex and yes, it is passionate. Okay, then most likely he is not. He could just be on the "metrosexual" side of things.
Ocean-Blue Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 He is definitely gay. You should dump him.
mark982 Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 i got 2 cats. whats wrong with that? at least i don't have to put a leash on and take them out 3-4 x a day.
kashmir Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 A lot more guys have more feminine behaviors, but they like women just the same. A lot of guys wear dual earrings. I would never get earrings...I think they look cheesy on guys, but if another guy likes them then all the better for him. And as far as the cats go, that's funny! I have two little puppies that I love to death...ones that you might consider to be chick dogs, but I'll still play with them for hours. Then again, I have snakes, a rooster, and turtles...so I guess that balances out the maniless.
amymarieca Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 I kind of suspected that my boyfriend was gay when he slept with my gay best friend. What do you guys think? Ha ha! Seriously though, that really did happen. It is pretty tough to tell if someone is gay just based on those things. My ex never showed any signs. It was a total shock! I would just wait it out. If the little signs bother you, then you shouldn't keep dating him. Time will tell I suppose.
norajane Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 Top 3 signs a man is gay: 3. He doesn't have sex with women 2. He doesn't like pussy 1. He likes cock and has sex with men Anything else is pure speculation, and, in your bf's case, probably insulting as well since he's initiating and having passionate SEX WITH YOU.
amymarieca Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 Top 3 signs a man is gay: 3. He doesn't have sex with women 2. He doesn't like pussy 1. He likes cock and has sex with men Anything else is pure speculation, and, in your bf's case, probably insulting as well since he's initiating and having passionate SEX WITH YOU. While I fully agree with the above statements, I must say that some men form relationships with women in order to hide the fact that they are gay. My uncle is living proof of this. He is gay and married a woman to keep his parents happy. Eventually though, the marriage ended because he was simply not attracted to women and he came out of the closet.
norajane Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 I freely admit to having lived only in cities where sexual orientation isn't much of an issue, and having gone to a college where no one really cared, so perhaps my view is skewed. I just don't have experience with gay men who don't have sex with men and who do have sex with women. Unless they're still in high school and still exploring their sexuality. Do you live in a conservative community where being gay would be frowned upon? Would he have any reason to hide his sexual orientation, to the point of actually dating a woman for months?
Author lostgirl77 Posted November 12, 2008 Author Posted November 12, 2008 You fail to acknowledge that a lot of gay men will and have slept with women and some who are too scared to come out will stay with a woman and have sex, to cover their tracks. Michael Barrymore is just one example. This is very true. That is the reason why I am doubting this even if he has had previous relationships with women before, and even if he is interested in sex with a woman. It's just so hard to differentiate metrosexuals, with the closet homosexuals. No offense to those who are real metrosexuals. Just confused here.
MalachiX Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 Wow, from the title of this thread, I expected it to be so much worse. I've seen posts where a woman says, "do you think my BF is gay because he stays at home all day watching the view and tills me which guys he thinks are hot?" I've had female friends who have said "sure he experimented having sex with guys in college" or "sure he likes me to put on a strap on and have sex with him anally" but insist their BF isn't gay (I'm totally not making this up). Nothing you describe makes me think gay. Gay stereo-types very from culture to culture and are hardly a good way to identify if someone swings that way. I've lived in the South for much of my life and I'm often mistaken for gay because I speak very well, have a slender body, and am the son of two English teachers. It's kind of like how a lot of viewers used to watch Fraiser and say, "but seriously, he is GAY right?" On the note of stereo-types though, I have to add one of my own. I HATE the term metro-sexual. Or, more specifically, I hate it when a guys describes himself as a metrosexual. I realize I'm about to make an awful and hypocritical generalization right now but honestly hearing a guy describe himself as metro makes me think "gay in denial" more than anything you mentioned. Most of my male friends dress a certain way because THEY like it or because they think it will impress women. When you have to come up with a new sexual term to explain how you dress and act, it sounds a lot more like you're in denial your sexuality. That's just my (incredibly ignoraunt) take on it.
Mary3 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 having two cats is a dead giveaway. Many gays have two cats. lol !................
Mary3 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 I was going out with a man who termed himself as metrosexual. He had a TON of clothes he brought for just the weekend. Turtlenecks , of all colors. Blazers of different colors. At least 5 pairs of pants. Meticulously groomed. He was ALL man though . I never felt he was gay at all...
Mary3 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 You’re opinion might be right, I am pretty sure I am not gay, but I have had fantasies about sex with other men and I have watched gay porn which did not turn me on, I’ve also kissed a few men before and none turned me on at all. I do however look at some men and think “yeah he’s pretty darn hot”. Now, if that makes gay or a gay in denial, then my friend, I am gay in your eyes. You might be bisexual if you are attracted to men. Nothing wrong with that
Agent_99 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 I'm sorry but gay has NOTHING to do with stereotypes. I'm a lesbian, and yet even if you spent a lot of time with me, unless I talked to you about my love life you would not know it. Sadly I get teased by my lesbian friends becasue I have NEVER watched an episode of the L word. I also know a guy who if it wasn't for the fact that he loves women, many would consider him gay. He's somewhat effiminate and very in touch with himself and his emotions. He also watchs buffy (oohh another stereotype) and really gets into decorating his and his wifes home, but he isn't gay, or even bi. Now to point out the obvious. Ask him. Talk to HIM about it. ~99
kashmir Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 I was going out with a man who termed himself as metrosexual. He had a TON of clothes he brought for just the weekend. Turtlenecks , of all colors. Blazers of different colors. At least 5 pairs of pants. Meticulously groomed. He was ALL man though . I never felt he was gay at all... You're not all man if you get your body waxed and go to the tanning salon. REAL men get a tan from spending the summer shoveling horse **** at their uncle's farm, shirtless, sweaty, and hairy.
norajane Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 You're not all man if you get your body waxed and go to the tanning salon. REAL men get a tan from spending the summer shoveling horse **** at their uncle's farm, shirtless and hairy. I run into far more men with golfer's tans than any actual outdoor work. So tough riding in that golf cart drinking beer under the hot sun. :lmao:
Mary3 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 You're not all man if you get your body waxed and go to the tanning salon. REAL men get a tan from spending the summer shoveling horse **** at their uncle's farm, shirtless, sweaty, and hairy. Haha ! Well he sure knew how to do things to me in the bedroom wooo
kashmir Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 I run into far more men with golfer's tans than any actual outdoor work. So tough riding in that golf cart drinking beer under the hot sun. :lmao: Never said anything about golfers. I referenced doing work outside as a way of getting tan to make fun of guys who go to tanning salons. All I'm saying is any woman who thinks a guy who gets his ass and chest waxed, gets pedicures, and has a perfect tan is a REAL man doesn't know what a real man is.
Mary3 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 I run into far more men with golfer's tans than any actual outdoor work. So tough riding in that golf cart drinking beer under the hot sun. :lmao: He was the most well dressed real man I ever knew ...hehe.....
Mary3 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Never said anything about golfers. I referenced doing work outside as a way of getting tan to make fun of guys who go to tanning salons. All I'm saying is any woman who thinks a guy who gets his ass and chest waxed, gets pedicures, and has a perfect tan is a REAL man doesn't know what a real man is. I do know what a real man is but this guy did swoon me thats for sure . He had more clothes than I did though , lol !
kashmir Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Haha ! Well he sure knew how to do things to me in the bedroom wooo Good for him. Too bad he needs to look pretty to do it.
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