alwayssme Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 Ughhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! I was doing better, now I'm crushed AGAIN!!! i lost close friends and my ex...my whole life has changed. I am left with only my best friend and she is always busy with her boyfriend. Who do you turn to when you're down? I try talking to my mom and she tells me "Why do you need people to understand you and be there for you?" I am sad and angry and having an emotional day because i cannot believe how cold this world truly is!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...it is so sad how much people can change. I also lost a friend who cared for me over an argument because they have too much pride to talk and i am sick and tired of chasing after people. What drives me insane is that nobody really understands me. I hate having to go through this on my own with these feelings bottles up inside of me. Also please some advice about my friend that wont talk to me? Should I give it an attempt? I really dont want to lose this person after LITERALLY losing everyone I knew all my life and considered the people i love. Should I give it one more try to talk to my friend? Thanks to my ex now i HATE chasing after people, because I'm afraid. I'm so sick of always being the one to make the first move but what can I do??? Having a bad evening
Poiter Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 That's what we're here for. We're all going through the same situation, losing our partner and struggling to cope. I was in a similar situation, most omy friends I've been out of touch with for so long. I turned to family as well who listen but can't always provide much of an outside perspective. However I was lucky, one friend I talk to had gone through a similar thing. Except this time she was the one who broke things off (where as I was the "dumpee"). I say leave everyone alone to be honest. It's hard enough that you're in a pretty intense emotional state let alone them being in an emotional state too. Leave eveyone alone and concentrate on yourself. Make it clear to your ex you want to reconcile and then leave it at that. Then spend time on yourself. Not just time FEELING the hurt and getting used to the harsh emotions, but also spoiling yourself. Be selfish. Buy some treats for yourself, movies you've been wanting to see, things you've wanted todo and forget about everyone else except yourself. I can't really offer too much advice as my recent loss of a 3 year relationship is the first of it's kind. And it's really hit home. I feel like a hypocrit when offering others advice because sometimes I just don't believe any of it myself. But that's part of the healing process I'm told.
melissa123 Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 Heya hun I havent been following you story well, can you fill me in a little? Im SO sorry for everything, my heart went out to you when I read this. I even cried myself I understand. I really really do. Your not alone at all and please don't every think you are ok. I dont know if this will help but my ex and I have just split and I have lost a ton of friends. That whole group and my ex was my life. That where I was happy, thats where I could be me. Now its all gone. All the friends but most importantly my ex. Even before we dated we were best friends, now we are nothing at all. I lost everything with him. I also failed some very important exams and am having MASSIVE issues with my family. I am shattered to a point where I didn't think I could get to and NO ONE can understand. They just tell me to pick myself up and get on with it. So I feel your pain hun. Have you ever had an experience like this before? Or just a really bad experience where you thought things would never get better and your whole world was lost? Bet you came throught it in time and now you can look back and smile? I know I have. My 1st love dumped me for someone else and spread rumours to everyone that it was because I cheated (which I most certainlly did not) I lost literally everything My ex, all my friends, my job. At the same time i was having problems in my sport and with my uni work. Really everything fell apart and I hit ultimate rock bottom. I thought I was going to die from pain, I wanted to die from pain. But.. I rebuilt my life VERY slowly. I made my own friends, got a great job, good uni marks and was on top in my sport. And I did it all myself. I got to a point where I was haappy again. So my point really is if I made it through from rock bottom you can to. You WILL have times in your life when you grieve and when you just want to give up. But they PASS. I know it hurts like hell now but it wont hurt like that forever I promise. keep posting
Katherineos123 Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 I dont know if Im missing something here, but why wont your friend talk to you? Unless its something monumental, then she doesnt sound like a very good friend to me. Youre probably better off without. Just my 2 cents.
Nikki Sahagin Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 I feel where you are coming from as well. My whole friendship group has undergone this radical change. Due to circumstances such as break-ups, work committments, university commitments and loads of in-fighting between different individuals - many members of the group have become outsiders. My other friends pretty much don't like each other - so I don't really have a 'group' anymore, just loads of individual friends but I do miss the feel of a large group of friends to meet up and go out with. More than miss really - it's terrible. I guess it's human nature to want to belong and fit in and now I feel kind of outcasted and alone. AND I HATE BEING ALONE I used to adore my alone time but now I find myself merely obsessing and feeling sorry for myself.
Dmoney28 Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 allswayme, im there with you. I had to cut my friends off. I was changing many things in my life. And they were a very negative influence. They always smoked week, drank heavily and drama queens who manipulate people around them. So i do alot of things alone....and it sucks. I go to bars alone, and movies alone and out to eat alone. Me and my ex where very close...almost like a married couple. We ate out, went to the movies, and events. Now its the lonelist pain i have ever felt. I'll find more friends...just might be a while. But it will get better for us.
Author alwayssme Posted November 11, 2008 Author Posted November 11, 2008 thanks everyone! It's just a big change happening in my life because i guess people really do grow apart. And I agree with being a part of a group, feeling like you belong somewhere. My life was pretty much content. I had my best friends (close as the girls from "sex and the city" you could say LOL), now I'm left with only one of them and she is amazing. I just grew apart from the rest of them. My other friends, well we have our own lives and talk once in the blue (when we would hang out all the time) and my ex, he just doesn't want me in his life anymore and I respected his decision so i left him alone. I wish so bad for a miracle, and by that i mean peace within me. We'll be fine...i guess there are worse things that could happen. I always remind myself of that and am thankful because i KNOW things will not stay like this forever for all of us. And I hope one day we can write on LS about how we got through this situation and are happy with our lives again Everyone in here is great. Very supportive
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