Author GreenEyedLady Posted November 12, 2008 Author Posted November 12, 2008 I want to thank everyone for their support, blessings and congrats! I think that Billie63 summed up how I feel and why I stay. It is not to brag or give false hope, but to help those find their inner strength. Peace be with you all! GEL
Author GreenEyedLady Posted November 12, 2008 Author Posted November 12, 2008 CONGRATULATIONS GEL! May you have many years of happiness together. I agree, a man will move mountains for you if he really loves you. Obviously your MM loved you enough to end his M and start a new life w/ you. I hope the BW is finding her own happiness and it's sitting around being depressed about their D and your M. She needs to find her own happiness. Thank you for the congrats... I am sure that she is not depressed; perhaps surprised. The M was one where neither partner's needs were being met and she probably feels relieved on some level that he's my problem now. I'm happy to have him as my problem. And now I'm his problem. Oh, I was always his problem, huh? All the best! GEL
Author GreenEyedLady Posted November 12, 2008 Author Posted November 12, 2008 You don't know me but I know you. So, I'm happy for you. I know you've been through a lot. I wish you the best! My brother got married this past weekend too, after living together for 13 years. Here's to November 2008! *raises glass of Pepsi* LoL I'm glad that you're happy for me! I'm happy for us too! Whoever you may be, thank you for your well wishes! I guess 13 is a lucky number for your brother! May his M be happy and may the bride and groom never go to bed angry and always put the others needs first... Here's to November 2008! Raises glass of Diet Dr. Pepper!
jj33 Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 Many many congratulations. Wishing you and your family a lifetime of happiness.
RobertLS Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 I want to thank everyone for their support, blessings and congrats! I think that Billie63 summed up how I feel and why I stay. It is not to brag or give false hope, but to help those find their inner strength. Peace be with you all! GEL Hi GEL, I haven't followed your story for long but know enough to realize that things have worked out nicely for you. Congratulations!! I've been following some other stories on this site, and yours made me want to ask you something. There are a number of people in loveless marriages who have met someone outside the marriage and are faced with the predicament of whether to stay or leave. Many responses to their posts give the advice that they should either end the affair and work on their marriage, or else divorce their spouse; to do otherwise is not fair to their spouse. These responses sound legitimate and make the choice seem very simple, yet the original posters often struggle over what to do. From your experience, was it fairly easy for your husband to make the decision to leave his previous marriage? Or did he struggle too?
Walking away Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 Congrats! Yes, a man WILL move mountains to be with the one he truly loves!
Meaplus3 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Congrats to you GEL. I'm so glad that everything worked out for you. You Deserve it. AP:)
RecordProducer Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 :bunny: CONGRATULATIONS, GEL!!! :bunny: I hope your marriage lasts forever and may it be filled with love, understanding, compassion, laughter, joy and good health. :love:
Author GreenEyedLady Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 From your experience, was it fairly easy for your husband to make the decision to leave his previous marriage? Or did he struggle too? I would not say it was "easy." If I had been satisfied with the way things were, he wouldn't have left. He worried what other people would think of him, and he thought he'd be dirt poor. He worried about retirement. In the end, he made the decision when he saw that I would walk away from him forever and that someone else would love me and marry me. But once he made the decision, that was it. Their was no waffling, no struggle at all. None of the back and forth that you read about or the XW trying to win him back either. And our R was always a R. There was no wondering what it would be like to be together. He spent the night with me, we went out, he/I met friends and colleagues, went to events together. It was not easy; it was well considered. And in the end he just said to hell with it and let the chips fall where they would. And we have been lucky. A million things could have happened to make our lives difficult. But it didn't. We found each other. Our other halves. And maybe we even saved each other, too. If only from ourselves. GEL
Author GreenEyedLady Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 Not only is this a lesson that people in an affair situation CAN find happiness, but it is also a lesson that an OW/OM should not put up with a bunch of gaslighting and foot dragging from her/his MM/MW. If they truly love you, like GEL said, they will move heaven and earth to be with you. If they're not doing that, well... Just don't waste too much of your precious time on someone who is not worth it. You only get one life!!! I couldn't have said it better myself! P.S. Thanks for the congrats!
Author GreenEyedLady Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 Congrats! Yes, a man WILL move mountains to be with the one he truly loves! I'm so glad to hear from you! Your words are some of the first I listened to when I first came here... Thanks so much for the congrats!
Author GreenEyedLady Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 MP and RP: Thank you! **hugs**
stillhere Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Congratulations GEL!! You deserved this, especially because of all you invested in your R and YOUR wonderful man! You stood by my side, and still do, through all of my ups and downs, and i'm happy to stand by your side and wish you all the best. I'm glad he realized that he has one hell of a woman that he now calls his WIFE! (((GEL))) Love you girl!
CAMAYPARK Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Congratulations, GEL. I haven't known you long but you have always posted some sensible advice. You and others have helped me tremendously past few months. You are an inspiration to all of us OW. But, don't leave us here at LS, please continue dishing out your opinions and advice.
norajane Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 In the end, he made the decision when he saw that I would walk away from him forever and that someone else would love me and marry me. Good for you for standing up for yourself and not letting him get away with waffling forever! Congratulations on your marriage!
whichwayisup Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Here's something else - Never go to bed mad - Either at eachother or in general. Life is just too short.
girlwithglasses Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 Congratulations GEL. May you and your husband have a life filled with love, peace, and happiness.
Author GreenEyedLady Posted November 16, 2008 Author Posted November 16, 2008 Once again, thanks for everyone's good wishes... I wish we could have met under different circumstances, but I love him with all my heart and I will never regret our outcome...
movinon05 Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Well wasn't this worth coming back for a browse!!!! Must jump in and say Congratulations Gel! I'm truly happy for you. Some things are just meant to be. Big hugs to you!
Confused4Now Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Well wasn't this worth coming back for a browse!!!! Must jump in and say Congratulations Gel! I'm truly happy for you. Some things are just meant to be. Big hugs to you! I have to say I'm always happy to see some occasional success stories even though they are few and far between. I'm hoping that someday I can have the same success that you've had GEL. My story is ongoing and I do see the light at the end of the tunnel but I still have a long way to go. Good luck again and best wishes to you both and new hubby. That is so exciting to hear!!!! Big Hugs!!! as well!!!
Author GreenEyedLady Posted November 18, 2008 Author Posted November 18, 2008 Well wasn't this worth coming back for a browse!!!! Must jump in and say Congratulations Gel! I'm truly happy for you. Some things are just meant to be. Big hugs to you! OMG woman! I've missed you!!! Thank you so much! Can you believe it?! I have to say I am very happy to be a MW...
movinon05 Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 OMG woman! I've missed you!!! Thank you so much! Can you believe it?! I have to say I am very happy to be a MW... Yes, somehow I can believe it! lol! Because you had the right attitude all along as has been said many times. If he really loves you, he will move mountains. I hope you don't mind if I take this opportunity to speak to all the others out there, most of who don't know me. But I spent 7 years of my life waiting for the MM. And now I have to look back and wonder why. Because I was always second best. And that's just not a nice place to be, is it? Happy Endings like Gels are few and far between. Sometimes it was just meant to be. But for most others, I've come to believe life is trying to teach you something because the whole experience taught me much. And I know that I will never allow myself to be second best. If he's not moving mountains, there's your wake up call. If he's lying and stalling, there's your wake up call. If he's making empty promises, there's your wake up call. Its been almost 4 years since the end, and I can truly say I am much happier now. So when you think you just can't live without him, hey, I'm living proof. I've grown beyond measure and I know that somewhere out there is the guy for me and its for sure I won't be second best. I realize most of what I say will fall on deaf ears because I was there once too and wouldn't believe what others were saying. But if just a little of this sinks in to one person, then it was worth coming back for. Well.... sharing in Gel's happiness was definitely worth coming back!
Die Hard Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 OMG GEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!! This is so cool.:) I wish you a long and happy life together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cliche Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Gel! I thought you said you were getting married next year. OMG, I am so happy for you. You deserved this in a big way. I'm even happier for your dh that he has now found the woman who is right for him. Have a joyous life together!
Recommended Posts