sweetappl2 Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 My ex broke up with me a little under two months ago cause he needed space to figure out his life. Well he did, decided on the Coast Guard. It was always said that we were just gonna be on break until he figured out what he wanted to do. But we still are not together. We know that it is a big commitment to stay together, I think it may be part of why he's doin what he does. We've been through so many up and downs the past 2 months but things are finally getting better. He talks me me almost everyday either through calls or texts and he is still cutsy and flirty with me in person. He is also very touchy and affectionate toward me. He tells me he misses me a lot more, which he didn't start until about a week ago after I had started distancing myself from him. Right now, when we do talk about the relationship I let him bring it up. Cause whenever I would bring it up, he'd get upset or shy away from talking about it. He says it makes him feel bad. But when we do talk about it (usually through text only) he says he's ready to settle down but that he is scared. He says he wants to be with me... but I'm just not understanding what is going on! We both want to be together but he is scared....that is why we are not. Is this something that most guys will eventually overcome? I asked him if it was cause he thought I would hurt him and he said kinda... even though I've never given him a reason. He has had 5 gfs cheat on him in the past including one with his best friend. So he is just having a hard time taking this step to make a commitment to me. However it is SO frustrating because we both want to be together but his inability to take this step is what is messing everything up! He keeps telling me that he doesn't want to screw things up... which is why he doesn't talk about the relationship... which I'm not understanding because not being together when we want to is messed up in my opinion~! I've been patient with him... I don't know what else I can do! If he cares for me which I know he does, will he eventually come around? Is there anything I can do other than tell him how I feel to help him commit? I'm not his gf, but I am also not his friend either. I've been stuck in the middle. Do guys generally come out of this?? The commitment issue I know is not about scared of losing freedom, I know that much for sure.
Brimstone_Angel Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 You might have to face the fact that he may be one of those people who don't back track, even if it was a good thing. But, if you are determined, all you can do is tell him and show him. There is no specifics or magic I can give you to make him understand and fall for you again. What I do suggest is that you two talk over the issues that tore you apart in the first place. Talk about what issues are keeping you apart now. And if there is anything that you have not tried to reformed those bonds. You may want to consult a relationship specialist for the both of you. Or even read relationship books with exercises in them (remember to get two if he is willing to work with you on this). Don't give up, but don't pane away for one man either. I wish you well in and much blessings whereever this path may take you.
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