D-Lish Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 Yeah but most of the people on this thread right now are over a decade older than you. I think you even come from a different generation than me. Whoa!!! I may be older... but that is precisely why I can offer some insight.
Author Isolde Posted November 11, 2008 Author Posted November 11, 2008 Well, sometimes I think this policy of not asking guys out is a good idea... then again I've been rejected by guys that were dying for afirst date Whaddaya think D?
CommitmentPhobe Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 Whoa!!! I may be older... but that is precisely why I can offer some insight. You're not the only "oldie" here D-Lish - I was just trying to make Isolde feel a bit better about her stated lack of experience. I dunno you try and be kind to people and look what happens
D-Lish Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 Well, sometimes I think this policy of not asking guys out is a good idea... then again I've been rejected by guys that were dying for afirst date Whaddaya think D? I think you give the green light to the guy... and you let him ask you out. It's way more satisfying to be asked than to ask yourself. Most guys like the chase. That is one thing I have learned in my years. If he doesn't ask.... there is no rejection and you can call it his problem. It's worse when you ask and they say no!
Author Isolde Posted November 11, 2008 Author Posted November 11, 2008 The interesting thing is, I've never met a guy that completely bowled me over... of course I have had strong crushes, and I've given people chances. But truth be told I have never been thoroughly enchanted by aguy.
Author Isolde Posted November 11, 2008 Author Posted November 11, 2008 I think you give the green light to the guy... and you let him ask you out. It's way more satisfying to be asked than to ask yourself. Most guys like the chase. That is one thing I have learned in my years. If he doesn't ask.... there is no rejection and you can call it his problem. It's worse when you ask and they say no! I'd tend to agree. My best girlfriend is in a relationship with a guy she pursued but they were both inexperienced. I'd say when dating any guy 25+, what you say is probably going to hold.
SushiX Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 Remember that rejection is a state of mind. It only hurts if you let it hurt you. Rejection is no longer a part of my vocabulary. I'm 28 yrs old and I can tell you that I've been rejected probably more than most men. The way I deal with this is change my state of mind to finding friendship instead of a partner. This way I won't look desperate and I won't feel hurt by the rejection. If I really like her, I'll flirt with her. If she feels the same for me then that's great! If she doesn't feel the same for me, then I'll just gain a new friend. Sometimes it's better to be friends than lovers anyways. Change your mindset and attitude. It'll make your life alot easier
IrishCarBomb Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 There are a lot of reasons a guy or girl can get rejected. What you have to remember is that a lot of those reasons have nothing to do with you.
Bells Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 I hear a lot of people saying things like you need to get used to rejection so it doesn't sting as bad next time, like a callus on your fingers. My question is what advice do you have for girls that need to learn to deal with the big R better? We don't typically ask out guys as often as guys ask out girls, and we also get rejected slightly less often on average, therefore rejection looms very large when it does occur. I've been rejected around three times by guys I really wanted to date and each time I sort of took it hard. I heard rejection for women is TWICE as worse than it is for men....I guess it's because they don't ask men out that often and if they do and get rejected....they never do it again. I knew of one woman that regretted asking a guy out, she only did it ONE time, was a terrible feeling for her when she got rejected...after that point, she left it up to men asking her out. Maybe it's because women have bigger egos?
edinsvet Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 It's not "you"... it's chemistry- the lack of or abundance of. The lack of will occur more often... but when the sizzler comes along... it's so awesome. I totally agree with D-Lish. Some people just fit. Meet enough people and you will find your fit. And just because one hot guy rejected you doesn't mean an even better looking guy who is funnier, and filthy rich won't find you the most amazing woman on the planet. Sometimes I try to think of funny reasons why they may have said no. It really lightens things up. Like, maybe I will say. Gee I wonder if the reason that she isn't into this is that she had some horrible venereal disease and just got out of the clinic with a really smelly rash all over that area. Good thing we aren't hooking up. Or I imagine some awful scenario of us hating each other and am thankful she helped me/us avoid it. As far as asking guys out, also agree with D-lish. I am not sure it is the best idea to ask a guy out. Probably better to be extra friendly, smile, stand a little closer than you normally would, say a few words be silent, laugh at whatever he says, and see if he asks you.
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