galicat Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 My partner and I have been together coming up 5 years. I’ve just turned 32 and he’s 27. We have gone through some tough times (financially, with our families and careers) and have both grown up in this time. Earlier this year (with his business suffering and financial pressures mounting) he got very stressed and difficult. Long story short we broke up and separated our assets (we had broken up and got back together previously but no property involved) Anyway, we love and are passionate about each other and when I started to get my life back and move on he couldn’t let me go. I said I getting older and wanted more stability in my life (previously I have loved travelling and being with a younger guy) and want to have kinds in the next few years and marriage etc. he said (as he has previously) that he wanted that too. I said I didn’t believe he was over the ‘laddish’ lifestyle (he has never cheated or anything, is just a boys boy and the life of the party) Anyway, we went to counciling and he did a self improvement retreat with the sole purpose of proving to me that he wanted to grow up and change and he has been doing that. He is a different man to a year ago and I am so proud of him. The thing is, with turning 32 I and being together for coming up 5 years I want a commitment. It is not enough to say we are together and in love anymore. Our friends are getting married and I think I can expect this. I made it clear to him before we got back together that there was no point pursuing anything unless we wanted the same things. He has been fine with this and just said he wants two easy months with me to reassure him that the relationship is on solid ground. We have had this. Things have been great BUT now his parents are separating and he is having trouble with work (slow economy and he is self employed) and he is making noises and indications that marriages are trouble and he is unsure and off the idea. I’m trying to be supportive of him and what he’s going through but it is on my mind that he could be back peddling and this angers me. I don’t want to make demands of him but I know what I want and think it’s reasonable. I don’t want to be waiting around forever with one excuse after another not to tie the knot but on the other hand he has been brilliant and I can’t fault his behaviour. Am I over reacting? I just want to be able to move on and plan my feature with the person who is going to be in it and don’t want to be with someone who is just keeping their options opened after all we have been though I think a commitment is fair but how do I broche the subject. He gets very defensive but then last night said it was fair enough that I was now 32 and wanted to know whats going on but still no big indicators. He has said allot of times he needs his work and life to be stable then he can progress. I just feel that we could be waiting forever and it will not help our relationship if he procrastinates after wooing me back on the basis that we move things forward. Any advice from married, defacto or single people would be very much appreciated
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