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Should I "divorce" from my friend of almost 20 years?


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Posted

Cliff's Notes:

 

- Both female, became best friends in 5th grade.

- Now graduated university, both in common-law relationships in different but nearby towns

- Friend is the classic "ditches friends when a new boy comes around"

- Friend has stood me up at least 3 or 5 of the last planned visits - will not answer her phone for MONTHS and then call acting like nothing happened.

- Friend continues to facebook trying to get my phone number so we should "hang out".

- Friend is a bit imbalanced in some areas (has not been single one day since the age of 16, will ensure she has a new boyfriend before she leaves old one, constantly lied throughout high school that she was the brilliant "A" student but I found her report card sitting on a table in the counsellor's office and she had a C- average - she doesn't know that I know this. That was over 10 years ago)

 

I told her if she ditched me one more time that I would no longer be her friend. SO FAR I HAVE STUCK TO THAT - almost 3 years now. She is now messaging me a lot trying to talk to me. She doesn't seem to realize that there is a problem.

 

Is it wrong to divorce a "friend" of 20 years? Is it wrong for me to tell her "do not talk to me anymore. I am no longer your friend. Good luck and I hope you learn from this that you can't ditch your friends and expect to keep them"

Posted

Some friendships are not forever. You may have known her since you were in 5th grade, but she's grown up to be someone you don't like or respect as a person.

 

Out of courtesy, I'd answer back, but not as snarky as what you proposed. "I'm sorry, but we've grown apart as friends. I don't wish to stay in contact anymore. Good luck with your life."

Posted

OP, and I think you know this in your heart, she's not really your friend, at least in the traditional and healthy sense of friendship.

 

I'd like to see a silence sandwich here. People like her understand the language of black holes, since they create them so often.

 

After 3.5 years of silence, I'm sure a lifetime more won't be that hard, under the circumstances. Times change and so do people. That's OK :)

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