melissa123 Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 Hello there I just wanted to tell you the outcome of my situation seen you helped me so much. You kept telling me he wasn't interested and to break up but I didnt listen and kept thinking I could work it out. All your advice was spot on correct and i wish I had taken it. Last night I finally rung him after being ignored for 3 days and tried to work something out. I asked him if this was what he still wanted *very long pause, all the while my heart was breaking* finally he said he didnt no. Then he asked me the same question back to which I said I didnt want to break up but it cant keep going on how it is, and is he willing to make an effort. I got "probably not cause im lazy and a dick" (his words) So he ended it there. I am so shattered. I had absolutly no idea I could hurt so bad I just want him back here with me! I am soooooooooo sad! I just want to die! This morning I got to uni where he had told everyone he broke up with me. So now i look stupid Im devastated and I dont know what to do! But thankyou everyone on here for all the amazing advice you gave me. I just wished I had listened to aviod this terrible heartache. I really appreciate all the help. You guys are amazing. Im sorry I couldnt bring you happier news
konfuzd Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 It's not bad news at all. You've rid your life of a self proclaimed lazy dick. I'd call that a victory in my books. I'm sorry for your pain and I hope in time you can look back and realise you are better off.
Author melissa123 Posted November 10, 2008 Author Posted November 10, 2008 Thankyou very much Im just so devastated. I cant stop crying I dont care how bad it got, all I want is him. I just dont know what to do. I cant stop the tears no matter where I am. I cant eat or sleep and im so hungry and tired My heartaches so bad!I feel like I might just drop dead from the pain. I just want him back here so much Please help me, im so shattered.
whichwayisup Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 I'm sorry that you're in so much pain, break ups hurt like hell. Cry, cry and cry some more and hopefully soon you can go out with some friends, have afew laughs, and distract yourself. Until then, eat some icecream, chips or whatever junk food makes you feel better - And keep posting here. His loss, not yours, though I know right now that's probably not the right thing to say.. But believe it! HE isn't worthy of you.
Author melissa123 Posted November 10, 2008 Author Posted November 10, 2008 Thanks im trying I just dont think im going to be able to cope with this. I need him back so bad I loved him so much, I cant handle this. I feel like its all my fault. If I hadn't rung him and tried to talk this never would have happened and we would still be together I ruin everything
konfuzd Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 There is nothing you could have done. You stood up for what you wanted in the relationship. He didn't want to give it to you. He had checked out of the relationship long ago, and was just too lazy to actually end it. In the end, you gave him what he wanted. Dwelling on how it came to be is not going to help anything. Breakups are hard, but as whichwayisup said, find some comfort food, be with friends, exercise, get a make-over, go to the spa....focus on things that make you happy. You don't need him to enjoy life.
swanee river Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 .....and PLEASE eat a little something and try to get some sleep! It sounds corny, but-- your hunger and fatigue are actually magnifying all your emotions. You're also angry and lonely, even if what you're feeling doesn't quite fit those words at this moment--- however, I submit that, if you address these little things that are eminently fixable, like hunger, fatigue and loneliness, your heart will lighten just a little bit more each day. It's not a shortcut, but the physical stress on top of the heartbreak is unfortunately a factor that can make the hurt last longer. Hopefully all of us can help you a bit with the loneliness part---! Big hugs to you. -SR
Island Girl Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 Hi melissa123 All of what I would write would sound so cliche but incredibly true - you will get over him, it is HIS loss (what kind of a schmuck drags things out and makes the other person suffer the way you had?), and someone better WILL come along. But it hurts right now. You feel like a fool because people know he broke it off - DON'T. It isn't foolish to believe someone is telling you the truth when you are in a relationship. Anyone who heard the story would think (rightfully so) that he is a total complete immature ass for treating you so badly and not just being honest. This is the time when you take a step back and wonder why you would want someone who gives so little? And he has continuously gave very little even in the beginning. You deserve more - way more. A relationship needs more to exist. Really think about how you want to be treated and what you need from a relationship. So that the next time you will know when you are dropping the bar and correct that. Take care of yourself. Give yourself pedicures, masks, hot bubble baths, etc. And reach out to your friends. They really will be there to help. Of course you can always come here.
Author melissa123 Posted November 15, 2008 Author Posted November 15, 2008 Thanks Islandgirl I was hoping you would see this as you gave me such amazing advice! Im so hurt right now. I miss him sooooooooooooooooo much!!' Just wish he was here I feel awful as I tried absolutly everything to make it work I feel like a failure, I couldn't have tried any harder and it still wans't enough I feel like im never going to be good enough for anyone now Even so I dont want anyone else but him I keep thinking its all my fault, everyone says its his loss but how can it be when he dumped me and it all happy about it! Im the one that lost out, I got dumped and im shattered But thanks again for your advice island girl, you were spot on Im just sorry I didn't listen sooner
Island Girl Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 Thanks Islandgirl No need for thanks -- I just hope that guy runs into a girl like me soon... I was hoping you would see this as you gave me such amazing advice! Im so hurt right now. I miss him sooooooooooooooooo much!!' Just wish he was here This is going to sound harsh but you miss the dream of him. This is not the real him. The real him is a selfish, self-absorbed, loser, who would just be so into himself that he wouldn't notice if you broke out with the measles except to stay away from him "because I might get it". --- you know what I am saying. I feel awful as I tried absolutly everything to make it work I know you did -- you did all of his work too -- so that is a lesson learned. Do your part - not his. And you have to remember that one for the future too. You can never make it work by yourself and when someone isn't putting in their side that is a problem and it should get addressed quickly. I feel like a failure, I couldn't have tried any harder and it still wans't enough I feel like im never going to be good enough for anyone now Even so I dont want anyone else but him You can't do all the work in a relationship. And you were good enough --- you just allowed yourself to be treated badly and he didn't respect you or appreciate you. HIS loss. But you had lost yourself too, hadn't you? Hadn't you lost that carefree girl who had her own life besides him? That is who you need back so refocus on getting to know her again. You don't want anyone else now -- and you shouldn't be with anyone else now. This relationship completely screwed you up. Take the time to get it straight in your head. Your needs and wants especially. Because how can you get what you want if you don't even know what you want. I keep thinking its all my fault, everyone says its his loss but how can it be when he dumped me and it all happy about it! Im the one that lost out, I got dumped and im shattered It IS his loss. You should be thankful he finally answered your question. He saved you from this dragging on even further. But I will say that you allowed him to treat you so badly. It is something to think about in the future. Your boundaries and limitations need to be thought about. There are certain times when you know you deserved more but you excused that and now is the time to figure out why you were so willing to. But thanks again for your advice island girl, you were spot on Im just sorry I didn't listen sooner It happened the way it happened for a reason. It should be the catalyst of learning what you want and don't want in the future because trust me -- there will be another guy (better in every way) and you need to be ready foe him.
Recommended Posts