Jazzman Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 About six months ago I broke up with my ex. I posted a thread about it here on LoveShack. We're still close friends but haven't talked much lately. I've been busy, not to mention the fact that I've been intentionally avoiding spending too much time with her because I know she's fallen for someone else. They're not together, she's just really head over heels for this dude. They may or may not end up together. And did I also mention this was a long-distance relationship? ANYWAY......... That's the background information. Here's my dilemna - when my ex went to go vote last week, she bumped into a girl at the polling station who looks EXACTLY like her. Everyone has look alikes.......these girls are TWINS. Seriously. So I added the "twin" as a friend on facebook just so I could check out how much they resembled each other, and as it turns out, yes they are virtual carbon copies of each other. But it doesn't stop there. They have the same interests (bookworms who prefer staying in rather than going out), they're from the same town, they supposedly even sound the same when they talk (i've never talked to the new girl, just chatted with her on facebook). Here's the thing - after talking to her briefly, and browsing through her profile, I find myself becoming really attracted to this girl. She's very smart, she looks GREAT...........she basically has all of the same qualities my ex has, except with none of the baggage. As far as I can tell, I've only been able to point a couple of key differences in their personalities - the new girl is passionate about politics; and I have a strong interest in it as well. My ex? She was interested, and could hold her own in a political conversation, but it was never something that she was STRONGLY interested in. She loved hearing me express my political viewpoints (still does, actually) but rarely expressed (or expresses) any of hers. Also, this new girl is more than five years older; my ex is less than two years older. I almost feel "unqualified" to talk to the new girl - she just got her law degree and I'm not even done with undergrad (neither is my ex). Should I make a move? It really bothers me that they resemble each other in so many ways. It's crazy that the similarities are not just physical, but also personality-based as well. I've had to ask myself some tough questions that I haven't been able to reach a conclusive answer on - namely, am i just attracted to this girl because she reminds me of my ex and what I wished could've happen between us, but didn't? Yes there are some distinct differences, but I'm telling you.............the resemblence is UNBELIEVABLE. This feels so awkward and weird, and yet I do find myself really interested in this girl. What do you guys think? _
amaysngrace Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 I think it would suck to be with a guy who is constantly comparing me to someone else.
CandyGirlXO Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 I think it would suck to be with a guy who is constantly comparing me to someone else. I agree with this. Also you are in the process of getting your undergrad and this girl is about to get her law degree? I wouldn't thnk you have a chance.
Author Jazzman Posted November 10, 2008 Author Posted November 10, 2008 I agree with this. Also you are in the process of getting your undergrad and this girl is about to get her law degree? I wouldn't thnk you have a chance. I know! But I love smart girls, I really do. It's hard to find someone who can stimulate me intellectually and that's the reason I've often dated (or at least have been interested in) older girls for most of my life. Maybe I'm letting my hormones get the best of me...........cause in some of her pictures, I'm like "DAMN!" she's fine, lol. But she looks JUST LIKE MY EX. And I don't really find myself attracted to my ex anymore. Not like I used to be. Maybe that's because all that we've gone through since then has made her unattractive? I don't know. In any case, I really don't think it's fair to date someone *because* they remind you of your ex. But that's the question I've been asking myself, "is this a genuine attraction, or do I like her simply because she reminds me of my ex?" As I pointed out earlier there are a couple of distinct differences b/w her and my ex that I really like...........but I want to make sure. I don't want to do anybody wrong. BTW..........she actually already has her law degree..........she's studying for the bar right now. _
Author Jazzman Posted November 10, 2008 Author Posted November 10, 2008 I think it would suck to be with a guy who is constantly comparing me to someone else. Don't you think people do this anyway, though? Especially when they're the ones to leave the relationship? Like I said earlier, my ex is seeing someone new........I'd imagine that she's comparing me to him constantly..........it only makes sense. She broke up with me, so why wouldn't she check to make sure that what she was getting was better than what she gave up? I'd do it too. _
Author Jazzman Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 Anyone else have any thoughts on this?
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