Dexter Morgan Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Since she's gone to this other city to be with OM...I've got to say..."I DON'T THINK SO!". She's not in a crisis...she's in an affar. And she's choosing to be with OM knowing what she's doing to Jon. Exactly. And even if she was in crisis, hate to say it, but so what? Don't waste time and money going to where she's at. Talk with a lawyer and find out about how to do an annullment when you're unable to contact her. I agree.
JustBreathe Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Owl and Dexter, I only SUGGESTED that his wife might be with the OM. Jonx has not said that his wife has told him anything like that. I just wanted him to consider the possibility. Slow your jets, fellas! :-) You guys are great though. It's nice to hear the man's point of view where affairs are considered.
Owl Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 I disagree. She confessed to cheating on him. She then subsequently admits she's pregnant (and it clearly has to be OM's, given the timeframes listed)...and then she suddenly tells him she's going someplace else and goes incommunicado. This is NOT rocket science. I used to work on rockets...trust me. There is NO basis to build/rebuild a marriage on here. Hence my advice, which I still feel is completely applicable.
Author Jonxsx1000 Posted December 2, 2008 Author Posted December 2, 2008 OK, heres what I know now. She never went away. She lied about this. She is with the other man now. I don't know how long for, I am assuming she contacted him after she found out that she was pregnant. She hasn't contacted me whatsoever and never answers my calls. I have only spoken to her friend and her brother who have tried to help me. When I last spoke to her she told me she was going to keep the baby but she still loved me. I still love her but I also hate her. She is a 14 hour flight away from me and if I go there I will loose my job. How can somebody do this to someone after only 6 months of marriage? But on the other hand how can I even begin to finish a relationship without seeing someone face to face, or at least talking to them on the phone? She's just gone completely cold on me and wont say a word. I am severly depressed. What should I do? Should I go to work every day and try to move on with my life? I cant face going into work with everybody asking me how my wife is, and when is she coming over. But if I get signed off by the doctor will this help me? This is so ****ed up
theBrokenMuse Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 I am severly depressed. What should I do? Should I go to work every day and try to move on with my life? I cant face going into work with everybody asking me how my wife is, and when is she coming over. But if I get signed off by the doctor will this help me? This is so ****ed up It is messed up but look at it this way, she has done you a massive favor by showing you what an untrustworthy, lying, backstabbing witch she is this early on in the marriage. Some men have to wait many years and kids later to find out that when they married they really scraped the bottom of the barrel and have to rebuild their entire lives when they should be thinking about how to best live out their golden years. She's shown you who she really is behind the mask and it sure as hell isn't pretty. Get that annulment. You know it's the right thing to do.
Reggie Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 It is messed up but look at it this way, she has done you a massive favor by showing you what an untrustworthy, lying, backstabbing witch she is this early on in the marriage. Some men have to wait many years and kids later to find out that when they married they really scraped the bottom of the barrel and have to rebuild their entire lives when they should be thinking about how to best live out their golden years. She's shown you who she really is behind the mask and it sure as hell isn't pretty. Get that annulment. You know it's the right thing to do. Excellent points. You caught a huge break(I know it hurts). Clean out the bank accounts.
Confused father Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Eject! Eject! Eject! Dude, get the hell out of there, and stay away.
Owl Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 OK, heres what I know now. She never went away. She lied about this. She is with the other man now. I don't know how long for, I am assuming she contacted him after she found out that she was pregnant. She hasn't contacted me whatsoever and never answers my calls. I have only spoken to her friend and her brother who have tried to help me. When I last spoke to her she told me she was going to keep the baby but she still loved me. I still love her but I also hate her. She is a 14 hour flight away from me and if I go there I will loose my job. How can somebody do this to someone after only 6 months of marriage? But on the other hand how can I even begin to finish a relationship without seeing someone face to face, or at least talking to them on the phone? She's just gone completely cold on me and wont say a word. I am severly depressed. What should I do? Should I go to work every day and try to move on with my life? I cant face going into work with everybody asking me how my wife is, and when is she coming over. But if I get signed off by the doctor will this help me? This is so ****ed up This is no surprise...if you read my previous posts, this is exactly what I stated was going on. GO GET THE ANNULMENT. See a counselor, and talk with your doctor about anti-depressants. Start working out, running, etc... All of this can help you deal with the depression and stress. I know this is a horrible situation...but for your own protection, you need to get that annulment going ASAP, so that you're not financially responsible for HIS child. GO TODAY. Find out what you need to do to make this happen, and get it started now. Your wife doesn't want to recover the marriage...and if things are this horrible now, there really isn't much to try to rebuild your marriage from...understand?
JustBreathe Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Jonesx: I am sorry that your wife turned out to be so undeserving. You have nothing to be ashamed of so don't worry about what the people would say at work. You can keep it simple as it's none of their business and just say you have personal problems right now and you are dealing with it and would rather not discuss anything right now. Everything goes full circle. If you treat someone horribly, you get horrible in return. I think your idea about having the doctor sign you off for some time off of work is a good one, unless work might provide you with a way not to have to think about things. An escape. Keep your chin up. Forget her, she is rotten inside. You will process it and it will pass.
Purple_me Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 OMG I can't believe how this turned out... Everybody will tell you (incluiding myself) you're lucky everything came out NOW, meaning you found out this soon enough to get an annoulment. But after going through a recent weird break up where everybody were telling me "luckily it happened sooner than later" I really know that all you might want to say is "wouldn't be better if this didn't happen at all?" I'm starting to think she told you about the A when she already knew about the pregnancy... or had suspected it... she started with the one night stand, and then you found out it was an A with all the letters. Her going no contact with you after telling you, has to show you she never had the intention of work things out with you. I know it hurts, and let me tell you you'll go through different stages after finding out: pain, anger, denial, missing her, etc... I wouldn't recommend taking time off work, because you could do something crazy like traveling to see her and make things worse for you (there's no marriage in here to save, when she had an affair, is carrying another's baby and IS with the OM). One of the best advices I received by my breakup time was to try to keep with my routine, it's impossible for this not to impact your entire life, but try not to let it kill your entire life. I'm sorry this is happening to you, but you have some homework to do. DON'T JUSTIFY WHAT SHE DID (you will some day! one of the stages), distance is HARD, but it's not a reason to have an A!! Purple
RecordProducer Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 She never went away. She lied about this. She is with the other man now. I don't know how long for, I am assuming she contacted him after she found out that she was pregnant. She hasn't contacted me whatsoever and never answers my calls. I have only spoken to her friend and her brother who have tried to help me. When I last spoke to her she told me she was going to keep the baby but she still loved me. Jon, this woman is piece of sh*t. She cheated, got pregnant, lives with the other man, is keeping the baby, isn't answering your calls, and keeps lying to you all the time. I don't know how much it hurts to realize that your new wife is such trash, but you must get over her. Why would you go there? To get beating from her lover? To end up in jail in a third-world country and never get out or something even worse? Annul the marriage immediately and forget that scum for good.
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