cherrybaby Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 Hi everyone!! I'm new here and am really frustrated at the moment. I'll try and keep this short and sweet. I would love your input, whether its good or bad news. I'm a 27 year old female,stable, secure, no baggage, happy with myself. I met a guy on a dating site who is 28. We went out 3 times, each date ending with a sweet, passionate kiss. I work from home and he would message me every day for hours online. There were a lot of text messages and calls too. He would call just to say hi, and that really made me feel special. He even went as far as to tell his friends about me. How I was so different from all the women he has been with. He told me how beautiful I am, talented and unique, and most of all, just that I am really awesome and funny, and he enjoys my company. We didn't sleep together. He told me he likes to be in something committed before that happens....though he certainly told me how much he would like to "bed me" if things worked out. Forward to third date. He introduced me to his friends, flirted, had his hand on my knee the whole night. Walked me to my car and kissed me. Next morning, messages me. We talked all day. Later in the day I asked him about hanging out the coming Friday. He said he was booked for the whole weekend and I commented on how he never wants to hang out with me on the weekends. Probably a bad idea, but I was honest. Then the conversation turned into how he thought I expected too much and how he just didn't think he was ready for anything serious at the moment. He said he just isn't ready to date after his messy break up 4 months ago, and then he deleted his profile on the dating site we met on. He begged me to be his friend and asked me to give him time to get his head straight because he doesn't want to loose me and he thinks a relationship between us would work out great in the comming months, but not right now. He has planned for us to go to a bunch of concerts coming up and we hung out today, went hiking and had dinner. It ended with him kissing me on the cheek and a big hug. This was after we sat in my car listening to rather emo music and him telling me that he is so sorry about things and he just doesn't know what he wants now and hes glad that I'm not angry and still want to hang out with him What gives? I came home and was more emotional than I think I have been in a long time. I am trying to be there for him and be his friend, but of course my intentions are that he will eventually be ready to date me on a more serious level. Just like clockwork, I'm sure we will chat all day tomorrow, like we do every day. Its so hard for me to just be in the friend-zone. My 2 thoughts are, 1) tell him that I think about him far too much and a friendship is too hard on me since I have feelings and that I just need to move on and not speak to him anymore, or 2) I can continue to be the friend and hear him tell me how great I, while I hurt so much. I feel like perhaps letting him know that my feelings for him are making it too hard to be friends with him, will scare him into shaping up if he wants me to stick around, or he will be ok with never hearing from me again, and I will at least be at peace and not waste my time with him. (his ex was a controlling princess. Hes a bit on the sensitive side and she walked all over him, degraded him in front of his friends and just generally made him feel terrible. This is why he claims he is scared of something new right now) My apologies for the length of this. If you think I'm being a fool for hanging around, than please let me know. He is so genuine and nice, that its hard for me to see past it. He has not tried to get in my pants, so at least I know thats not what he is looking for. I also mentioned casually today how I was asked out for Friday night by another guy and am planning on going....and well, he said, Oh thats nice, and was silent.
sultry33 Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 i think its good that he is so honest with you and he has been taking it slow too so not to lead you on. If it was me id be pulling back a bit so to give him space send him message here an there but certainly cut down from all day... he will be hard to walkaway from if you get too attached hope things work out:)
Author cherrybaby Posted November 10, 2008 Author Posted November 10, 2008 Yeah I agree, hes honest and that is helpful. But, making future plans to take me to all these events...confusing as hell! And you are right, I will cut back on the all day chats and not sign on as much. Who knows, he might just miss me. Thanks for the reply!
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