Sarita12385 Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 I am so sick and tired of dealing with this issue... My husband and I live in a nice, spacey 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment and have been here for over a year. We've got a 6 month old cat, and are expecting a baby in 7 months. According to both my family doctor and my OBGYN - there is no need to get rid of our cat since she is indoors only, and that the cat will supposedly keep my blood pressure at bay. Well for the past 4 months, it has been a complete roller coaster ride with the inlaws and the cat. I get home by myself before my husband every day of the week, and spend a couple nights home alone while the husband attends night classes, so the cat is just great company for me and makes me feel more comfortable here alone at night. My mother in law who I love dearly has severe allergies to our cat and cannot be in here more than an hour w/o having to step outside. We've put this cat up for adoption TWICE already, only to "change our mind" because of the emotional connection we have, naturally. This is the THIRD time we're putting this cat up for adoption because one - mom in law's allergies are terrible and she can't even stand to be here, 2 - the baby is coming, and according to everyone but my doctors, the cat hair is super dangerous to babies, especially if swallowed. That's fine, and I'll believe it...but why can't a doctor tell me these things when I ask? I'm at my whit's end with this emotional elevator going on. I love the cat, but of course I love my baby-in-the-making MORE, and I want to do the right thing, but I am stressing out and crying over this to the point where I'm becoming concerned about the wellbeing of the baby. I'm still in my 1st trimester so it's shaky. SUggestions?
Trialbyfire Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 You should read this article about toxoplasmosis, which is pretty much the only danger to a pregnancy, from a cat. If your cat is an indoor cat, there isn't even much danger of that. http://cats.about.com/cs/catmanagement101/a/humanpregnancy.htm My SIL went through two successful pregnancies with cats, my mother, all four kids. Just get someone else to clean the litter box.
kdad Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 You need to do what's right for you.You live your life not their's. As long as it doesn't present a problem for your baby, then keep it. When you in law visits , put in the other room. I am a dog lover but my wife has 2 cats. When people come to visit they will adapt and adjust. I have a 5 and 7 year old and very protective of them, however it if the animal doesn't conflict w/ your kid, then you should be fine.
Author Sarita12385 Posted November 10, 2008 Author Posted November 10, 2008 Thanks for the replies Well, the toxoplasmosis is not even an issue at this point, I was tested for it and don't have it, they said not to even worry, the doctor said I'm much more likely to get toxoplasmosis from handling raw meat. At any rate...is it WRONG to keep the cat even though it prevents my mother in law from coming over?
Trialbyfire Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 What's stopping you from visiting your MIL? In some ways, it can almost be a blessing so she's not tempted to just drop in, in the future...
Geishawhelk Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 Can your MiL's allergy be treated with anti-histamines? [sIZE=4] [/sIZE]
Author Sarita12385 Posted November 10, 2008 Author Posted November 10, 2008 We visit them plenty often. They're 10 minutes away from us so it's not some epic voyage we need to go on to get over there. She receives allergy shots and uses Nasonex as well, but nothing really helps. Her throat closes up and she can't breathe when she comes over. I love her to death and feel super bad that she can't even come over. Her allergies are not just from cats, it's from just about everything, but cats are on the higher end of the allergy list. She can't be around candles either, she's very sensitive.
2sure Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 Did you know that cats are the #1 pet in the world? More people have them than dogs. With that in mind, I seriously doubt if babies are choking on cat hair in all of these zillions of house holds. Just defending that point, there are not many good reasons to give up a cat. Pets are a member of the family. But your MIL's allergies are real. If you are planning on having her over more than once a week - I would try to find a new home for the cat. On the other hand, the cat is a good excuse for MIL NOT to ne able to spend much time at your house. Please Don't give the cat up to the SPCA no matter what. Pets are often inconvenient, but not disposable.
movingonandon Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 Thanks for the replies Well, the toxoplasmosis is not even an issue at this point, I was tested for it and don't have it, they said not to even worry, the doctor said I'm much more likely to get toxoplasmosis from handling raw meat. At any rate...is it WRONG to keep the cat even though it prevents my mother in law from coming over? no, that's PRECISELY why I would keep the cat! in all seriousness. in-laws are more trouble than it is worth. Even if they are nice.
Trialbyfire Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 Sarita, the allergies were no secret to you when you acquired a cat. Why is it such a factor now? While yes, your pregnancy is new, if there's none to little implications for the health and safety to the forthcoming baby (btw, congrats!), why would any of this have impact now? When you adopt a pet, they're your responsibility for the span of their lives just like children. Would you ever adopt out your baby, if it was inconvenient?
Author Sarita12385 Posted November 10, 2008 Author Posted November 10, 2008 Nice point Trial. Well, I've spoken my words to ths husband regarding the situation and how I feel. I think this whole thing is way too dramatic to be even arguing over, but it's uneeded stress in my opinion. Thanks for the advice all, much appreciated
sedgwick Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 a) what does this have to do with coping with a breakup? b) it's WIT'S end. meaning you are at the end of your wit, not that something called "whits" will end.
Author Sarita12385 Posted November 11, 2008 Author Posted November 11, 2008 Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss. That's what is says. Who says it has to be about a break-up only? And thanks for making it a point to correct my horrible spelling rather than paying attention to the actual topic. Sheesh
kdad Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 I wish you luck. It seems to me that you are trying to get the situation resolved before it actually becomes unimportant. (i'm not going to pretend i know what you are going through as i am a father not a mother, but on that note, i can remember when my wife was in labor and she wtd. ice cream and right away , but wasn't allowing me to go to the store to get it, jeeez what a conradiction, those hormones),because once that kid is born and in you hands , your life changes and it is all about them. Don't fear this can be an enlightening and great experience. So i think is a good thing to focus on the issue with the cat right now , because it most likely less of a focal point at the end of 9 months.
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