sharry Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 Hi Everyone, I don't know where to start really. I started seeing a wonderful man just over 5 months ago whilst I was away on holiday. It just happened and was the last thing I expected at that time. I had come out of a 5 year on/off abusive relationship a few months previously and never seen it coming. I never knew I could feel like this again. I was very sceptical at first but he sensed this and was really caring and understanding to me. He asked me if I needed to talk about what had happened but respected that I didn't want to go into detail. Slowly over the months, I have learnt to trust him and know he is a great person. The only problem I have now is with the distance. I had put it down to a holiday romance but every day for almost five months we were in contact many times each day by text and more recently by phone. Not a day went by without us being in touch. It's just hard not being able to spend time together just doing normal couple things like going out to movies/dinners/chilling together drinking a bottle of wine.... A few weeks ago I was feeling really down about the situation and needed to talk to him about how I felt. We had an honest open conversation about what we should do (we said from the beginning we would be honest with each other) and left it a couple of days before we talked again. We both had thought a lot about it but still could not come up with an answer as to what we do. We then both decided to wait a couple of weeks without any contact to give us some clarity and to see how we both felt at the end of it. We will be in contact this week but I have missed hearing from him so much and getting his regular message asking how my day is going and my goodnight text every night. We live 4 1/2 hour plane ride from each other and I have visited twice during the summer but due to work commitments, we didn't get to spend a whole lot of time together. He has to work in his family business for another couple of months and hopes to finish up sometime in January and then has a couple of months free of work. All I want now is the opportunity to spend time together, talk, laugh and get to know each other better. I would love him to come and spend time with me here and get to see my country and meet my family & friends who are so important to me. It may also be a possibility that I could visit for a month or so next year but we have not discussed that yet. I guess I am scared about how our next conversation will go and if it was the right thing for me to bring all this up so early on in our relationship ? But somehow with the LD, I felt it was important to as it would go on like it was for months to come and I wanted to know where we both stood. If we lived in the same country, I am sure things would have progressed normally. We obviously come from different countries and cultures. Whilst I am open to new experiences coming into my life, I have also built a lovely life in my country and have amazing family and friends and its so hard to know what the right thing to do is. He says that I deserve someone to care for me every day and for me to care for someone in the same way but I don't think it is on the cards for him to come and settle here. He has a teenage child from his marriage and is divorced and I completely respect that he has commitments there. I have always gone with my heart in the past but this has gotten me into trouble in the past. Do I need to have all the answers now ? I have spoken to my friends who have been really caring but I don't think anyone can really understand how you feel unless they have gone through a similar situation. I know they think it would be easier to meet someone who lives in my city but I guess you cannot help who you fall for. Its been really helpful reading some of your posts here and I know what I am feeling is completely normal with the whole LD thing. I love him although its not something I have told him yet as I have been quite guarded with everything that has gone on in my past. The past couple of days I have been quite emotional and teary and I am now just afraid that what I have said was too much. The thoughts of us ending up breaking up this week are painful and I really don't know what the outcome will be. Sorry for the long post. Sharry:confused:
strongertoday Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 HUGS hun I think that it is always best to communicate....When my guy and I first met i person about 5 months after getting serious (2 years after being friends)it was on the 3rd night he said "we have to talk" and I was thinking NO NO NO too soon..... but he laid his cards out....let me know he knew I had children and any future would have to be here and he would move for love I wonder which countries you are in and how the culture and of course immigration would come into play. Also too if he has a teenage child he might be in a position to move in a few years when the child is older. I wish you all the best...LDR are not easy but they are so worth it.... (PS: my guy moved 12,000+ miles to me 10 days ago.....and he says he has never been happier)
Author sharry Posted November 10, 2008 Author Posted November 10, 2008 Hi Strongertoday, Thanks for your post. It was helpful to get it this morning. Congratulations as well, I am delighted that your LD relationship has worked out for you and you finally have your loved one there with you. In reply to some of the questions you asked, I live in Ireland and he is from Greece. I am a real city girl and he comes from a beautiful village there. I guess I have to wait and see how things play out over the next few weeks. I just feel anxious about how things go when we talk next. At least I will know one way or the other. Best of luck to you too. S
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