Bells Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 Now, there are reasons that people don't wear their wedding rings...from what I found...they typically work in an industry not conducive to jewelry or if they've been married so long...there's no need to wear it all the time...or...working on the yard or something. Anyways, there's this woman I've seen in my class for about 3 months (not dating her, she's just a classmate) I assumed she was single, because she has no wedding ring on her finger...went on a field trip and started to chat with her a bit....(college field trip, lol) And she's from Russia, speaks about 3 languages, real smart...and I asked her how long she's been here, and she said 2 years....and then I asked what she does for work...and she said she works with her husband. I was like "Dang it!" I never mentioned "Well, why don't you wear a wedding ring? She also mentioned she's been married for 2 years. Typically women who dress nicely for the day wear jewelry (like office workers, bankers, etc) and would also wear their wedding ring. Also, she has no pics with her husband on her facebook which I find unusual. The reason why is that he's hardly ever home. What's up with that? I was wondering if it's just a greencard marriage or a floundering marriage? Or perhaps just a marriage couple that don't wear wedding rings? I just find it unusual since she's a well dressed woman. I feel like asking her why she doesn't wear a wedding ring.
Meaplus3 Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 I don't think it's any of your business as to why she does not wear a wedding ring. Now if she was hitting on you and acting like she was single while married then pehaps it would be fitting to ask. AP:)
dannydrifter Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 Bells - she is probably having marital problems with husband. Women who often do not wear their wedding rings and do not have photos of their husband (at their work, in purse, etc) will eventually be single. Either they are not much in love, or they aren't good wives. Be careful either way. IMO it is not normal for a woman to consistently not wear her wedding rings. I used to wear mine 100% of the time fo rthe years I was married, but maybe that's just me.
quankanne Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 that's a pretty judgmental statement, danny – I started out wearing mine when DH and I married years ago, but now, unless it's something nice that I'm dressed up for, I don't really wear it. Actually, about 70 percent of the dress=up time, I forget to slap on jewelry anyway. NOT because I don't care about the marriage, but because I'm not the kind of gal who wears jewelry. And I don't think my husband sees that as a threat to our marriage, just "Wifey doesn't care for jewelry," and he's okay with that.
Trialbyfire Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 Unless you've gotten involved with her romantically, where she's led you astray, it's really none of your business why she chooses not to wear her rings. Maybe they're butt ugly. Maybe she doesn't have any. Maybe they're poorly made and snag her clothing. Maybe they're so nice that she's concerned about losing them. Who knows.
Lauriebell82 Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 I know that a few poeple at my work don't wear their engagement/wedding rings for fear that they may lose them or that a client may try to steal them. Also, depending on the ring it may be uncomfortable on her hand or she feels like it may fall off or something. Like others said, it really isn't any of your business why she doesn't wear her wedding ring. She told you she has been married for 2 years, so leave it at that. If you ask her why she doesn't wear a ring she may view that as an invasion of privacy.
Author Bells Posted November 9, 2008 Author Posted November 9, 2008 I know that a few poeple at my work don't wear their engagement/wedding rings for fear that they may lose them or that a client may try to steal them. Also, depending on the ring it may be uncomfortable on her hand or she feels like it may fall off or something. Like others said, it really isn't any of your business why she doesn't wear her wedding ring. She told you she has been married for 2 years, so leave it at that. If you ask her why she doesn't wear a ring she may view that as an invasion of privacy. Well I thought about saying, "Darn it....I couldn't tell if youwere single or not by you not wearing your ring. lol" Do it in a teasing' mannter, ya know?
dannydrifter Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 that's a pretty judgmental statement, danny – I started out wearing mine when DH and I married years ago, but now, unless it's something nice that I'm dressed up for, I don't really wear it. Actually, about 70 percent of the dress=up time, I forget to slap on jewelry anyway. NOT because I don't care about the marriage, but because I'm not the kind of gal who wears jewelry. And I don't think my husband sees that as a threat to our marriage, just "Wifey doesn't care for jewelry," and he's okay with that. Sorry if you don't like wearing yours, but you should. When inside your house fine, I can understand. But when you go out, you should ALWYAYS wear it (unless you are out climbing a mountain or something). Nobody is going to steal it if it's on your finger, and if it's too tight or loose then take it to a jeweller to correct. It sounds like you are just too lazy or uninspired to wear your wedding ring though, and I don't think that is good. I would not like my wife going to work or out with friends and not wearing hers. Make up whatever excuses you want to validate your way of thinking, but if you don't wear your ring then other guys will assume you are not married. Do you like that sort of attention, or something about your status bothers you?
BoooredGuy Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 Being an Eastern Europeaner, there is nothing unusual about that. Many women from those cultures rarely wear their wedding rings. The men are not too different. It has nothing to do with marital problems. In fact, most of it has to do with a ring not having much value - it's viewed as simply a ring. That's it. Nothing more. It's just a ring. And facebook pics alone or the like are not unusual either. It's a picture of her. You looked her up and see a picture of her, that's what you would expect no? The husband never being home isn't strange either. The men are always out working and making money. It's not too uncommon for continents to seperate a couple for months or even years while one works for extra money. I've witnessed this firsthand with many couples in my extended family, both young and old. Honestly, I think the disconnect that you're seeing here is with what is common in American culture. Being an eastern europeaner-american I see boht sides. Many (not all) of my American friends are very quick to flash a fancy ring or showcase a pic (or sometimes MANY pics) with their significant other. If the significant other isn't around all the time then something must be up. Many Europeaners (not all) simply don't care about that stuff. The relationship is fine and their is nothing to show off to everyone else (that's how many Europeaners view Americans BTW). I wouldn't be concerned about her personal life. Speak with her as a friend if you want, but chances are that her love life is fine. Even if it's not, then it's none of your business.
dannydrifter Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 Being an Eastern Europeaner, there is nothing unusual about that. Many women from those cultures rarely wear their wedding rings. The men are not too different. Yea, a ring hold no value in your lands because everyone f* around and cheat, infidelity is no big problem. We are the europeans, we close our shops at 1-3pm for siesta too. Thanks for the input.
Brimstone_Angel Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 Except for safety issues (i.e. dangers of a work environment or allergies to the metal) or to ensure one does not loose it during activities (like washing the dishes), I don't see a reason to take off the ring, but that is a personal choice. However, like Trial and Laurie said, if she is taking off her ring and behaving like she's not married, then that is an issue of a different color. If you know she is married and behaving in such a way, then your moral choices lie upon you.
me4u2 Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 Sorry if you don't like wearing yours, but you should. When inside your house fine, I can understand. But when you go out, you should ALWYAYS wear it (unless you are out climbing a mountain or something). Nobody is going to steal it if it's on your finger, and if it's too tight or loose then take it to a jeweller to correct. It sounds like you are just too lazy or uninspired to wear your wedding ring though, and I don't think that is good. I would not like my wife going to work or out with friends and not wearing hers. Make up whatever excuses you want to validate your way of thinking, but if you don't wear your ring then other guys will assume you are not married. Do you like that sort of attention, or something about your status bothers you? This post brings out the LOLs! Mountain climbing...omg. I have a news flash for you, ring or no ring people will do what they want. It comes off. It could leave the house on the finger and go straight into the purse, glove compartment or pocket. I mean realllllly now, the ring isn't the issue, it's the mindset. I forget my ring sometimes, not my vows.
quankanne Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 It sounds like you are just too lazy or uninspired to wear your wedding ring though, and I don't think that is good. I would not like my wife going to work or out with friends and not wearing hers. Make up whatever excuses you want to validate your way of thinking, but if you don't wear your ring then other guys will assume you are not married. Do you like that sort of attention, or something about your status bothers you? prolly more of the lazy camp, but it doesn't mean I take my vows any less seriously than someone who wears his/her wedding band. as for work ... well, no one's hitting on anyone, since that'd be in serious violation of our ethics and integrity code. Besides, I'm not interested in a straight shot to hell lusting or chasing after men of the cloth
dannydrifter Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 as for work ... well, no one's hitting on anyone, since that'd be in serious violation of our ethics and integrity code. Ethics and integrity code.. lol! lmao! Good one. Probably those guys who create those codes are the same managers who have affairs with the pretty office girls too! Ethics code! I like that.
quankanne Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 um, I work for the Church. In light of all the abuses and the resulting scandals, local dioceses adopted strict policies to protect those vulnerable to such abuse. So laugh all you want, we take this stuff seriously ...
Dexter Morgan Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 I feel like asking her why she doesn't wear a wedding ring. She aint gonna tell you the real reason why anyway. She has no excuse not to wear it. She isn't doing any arc welding is she?
Dexter Morgan Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 that's a pretty judgmental statement, danny – I started out wearing mine when DH and I married years ago, but now, unless it's something nice that I'm dressed up for, I don't really wear it. Actually, about 70 percent of the dress=up time, I forget to slap on jewelry anyway. NOT because I don't care about the marriage, but because I'm not the kind of gal who wears jewelry. And I don't think my husband sees that as a threat to our marriage, just "Wifey doesn't care for jewelry," and he's okay with that. You just gave every guy out there hope that they don't have to spend a gawd awful amount on a wedding ring!
Dexter Morgan Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 Well I thought about saying, "Darn it....I couldn't tell if youwere single or not by you not wearing your ring. lol" Do it in a teasing' mannter, ya know? really, whats the point if you already know she is married? Still trying to get in?
a4a Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 1. maybe she isn't married and just doesn't want to deal with the OP or others... I have known single women to put on a ring to avoid propositions. She could just be making the whole thing up. 2. people who don't wear rings are no more apt to cheat or look for outside attention than those that do. Since when did wearing a ring keep peoples pants on? 3. I never wear mine. Zero desire. Also a issue of getting caught on things and having my finger ripped off. It is a chunk of metal. I don't wear earrings either. I actually have no idea where it even is. Last time a "stranger" hit on me I was wearing it.... So it really doesn't matter does it.
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