mendsley Posted November 8, 2008 Posted November 8, 2008 Hi everyone, I have been thru many ups and downs the last three weeks with my wife who left me about 3 months ago. I have done the whole begging, pleading, telling her what she wants, and what ever comes to mind when trying to win back my wife. About two weks ago my wife and I got into a huge argument over the phone, the whole conversation was initiated by me tring to TALK to her but just rather ended up with me impatient and giving her an ultimatum. To make a long story short the phone call ended up with me saying "If you feel like not coming back to me then we need to get a divorce!". Well I thought it about it and thought about and decided that me saying that, was a way to get a reaction from her, something like "No please don't do that!", it never happened. I called her about a week ago and said "that conversation should of never happened and I do not want to pursue a divorce", she said good and if I did, it would be my decision not hers. Well right then and there I decided that I am going to not call but once every three days, when we do talk it is NOT about us or our past, I always ask how she is doing deep inside, I always offer her some money for her and the kids, and I make it sound like everything here is just dandy. I can honostly see a HUGE difference between us, she is now calling ME and we actually laugh and are becoming freinds again. Alot of people will say when something like this happens to instanly ditch her, I can see merrit in that under certain circumstances, but in my circumstance being freindly, giving and concerned for how she is feeling seems to be working. I know this post does not ask a question and is kinda long, but I just felt like I wanted to tell someone here who is trying to get answers to what works on winning your ex back. I have determined that if my wife decides to move on with her life without me, that I will be okay either way. She is my best freind and I hate to lose someone like that in my life but there are really great people in this world that would be a good match to me. You read alot of posts that have a negative end result but I just wanted to have a positive post on the way my end result is headed. Thanks -
carhill Posted November 8, 2008 Posted November 8, 2008 The background: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t167627/ You and she will continue to co-parent, so it is in the interest of your child to be "friends". OTOH, I would not ascribe too much value to any potential of that friendship. I would counsel acceptance and continuing/beginning your counseling to get healthy within yourself.
imagine Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 Thank you for your positive post. There is still much ground to cover and setbacks to experience. Don't give in. While it is not a natural thing for a guy to up and start reading about relationships, I do encourage you to continue reading the articles at marriagebuilders.com. They are pure gold. All the best!
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