I just want it to go away.

[juliemanooli]

Have you ever felt like you were on top of the world? Well, have you ever felt as if the world was on top of you? I feel as if there are 1000 pound blocks chained to my arms and legs and head. And Heart. I've never been so grief-stricken, it literally feels as if he took a milllion needles and stuck them right on my heart. It really hurts. And I just want it to go away. But how? What can you do when the very epitome of your happiness is the exact cause of your downfall? My friends have been there for me since the beginning, getting me out of the house, taking me out, comforting me. I've done everything to forget about him. Danced, exercised, laughed, go out... But no matter what i do, at the end of the day I'm still just as morose as I was the day he ended it.I'm trying to go back to how I was before I met him. Perfectly happy. But how? How can I do that, when I cant even remember what it felt like to be perfectly happy, unless I was with him? They say time heals everything. No. Time is the worse dependent. When there is time, there is waiting, and when there is waiting, there is no healing. What am I waiting for? To be over him? Or for him to come back? With time, there is so much to think about. Time doesn't heal anything. Time just makes you sicker. "Oh stop thinking about him, get him off your mind Julie." I'm sick of hearing this. You really think I LIKE thinking about him? As if it makes me happy to be engulfed in thoughts about the one person who shattered me? Yea, I love thinking about the guy who broke my heart.. Its not something I can control. I just want it to go away....

[Lucky555]

i hear you its been 8 months but i was in contact with him about three weeks ago, casual conversation. But after all this time i have almost resolved it all, of course there will be a fraction of him in my mind because we can't forget but here is what i think:

 

Right now its hard to see clearly for you but i suggest writing all the things you want to do with your life Write about how you feel, even if it does have to do with him. You probably are asking why why why! As i do. you will cry and you will have those emotions pouring out of you but i believe its healthy. You need to resolve in order to move on. Imagine you run into a fabulous guy and you still have feelings for a man who is incapable of returning them? Imagine that you miss out on a great guy just because you still have these lingering thoughts and feelings.

When you think of him say stop, i'm not there anymore i am here and i need to focus on what i am doing right now.

Work on being the person you want to be, are you caring, kind, loving, and a great person? I bet you are and you need to find joy.

 

I really believe people can sense things about another, grief for instance..if you have this inside you, your going to reflect it to other people including potential guys. Don't wait for a guy to save you save yourself.

 

Start doing things you enjoy, fix yourself up, get your hair done, work out, socialize. I have been doing all this and sometimes i get those sulky feelings about the past but everyday i have been getting better and better and feeling better too. Its not going to happen all in one day. Going through the process everyday is something that builds. (love builds and you have to start building self love)

 

After the break up i felt like ****. I broke it off because he couldn't move forward, i felt so deceived and stupid. I felt betrayed and lied to and now i don't feel like i do know him. BUT all this can't matter anymore. You are where you are and build your confidence again. After the break up my confidence plummeted, i felt unattractive and i didnt feel sexy as i once did.. So i suggest getting "sexy you back" once you look great in your eyes you will look great to others. once you start looking great your going to see reactions from guys as i did, as soon as i started doing these things for myself men were starring and noticing me. You can see it they turn their heads. This will build you back up, and you will start to feel better inside.

 

Start with the outside and gradually the inside of you will be better. EVERYDAY small initiatives for you are going to help.

 

It didn't matter how many men i met, flirted with, socialized with friends, danced, worked out, it didn't change how i felt in the beginning. It wasn't until i started caring for me. BE SELFISH, your hurting and you need to take care of you. You can still do other things but stop caring about him. I found this hard for many months because its in our nature to care for others, but when someone hurts you don't care for him.

 

AVOID CONTACT. if you in constant contact now just slowly decrease the contact every week. Pretty soon you wont be in contact any more like me. I could not just stop talking to him because i was so used to talking and then well i just decreased it every week. now i don't have the desire to contact him when something comes up.

 

This is not to say that things wont change down the road but you need to get you back. You deserve all the things that you want in a realtionship.

 

For me it was 8 months later this my reflections. Relationship was 2 years off and on. Broke up once, he came back i thought this must be it, he must be it because he came back..things didn't move forward. Its ok though i feel like i can do anything. I am able to progress my career, friendships, relationships with others and have a wonderful time. I think we all get lonely sometimes with out having another or after knowing some one on deeper levels but its fading. It will fade. Get rid of pictures too.

 

Wishing you the best.